Month: January 2015

 

People think Roatan is a dangerous place to live and I say it’s not. When I read the US news I am dumbfounded by the rampant crime all over the US. People being kidnapped and killed because they responded to a Craigslist ad, school shootings, hostage situations, bomb threats, shootings at malls, colleges, hospitals and government buildings. Sure there is petty crime here but it is nothing compared to the crap going on in the US and the rest of the world. Living here we are surrounded by beauty everywhere we look, the locals are fabulous people and they treat us kindly, this really isn’t such a bad place after all.

There was a meeting on Thursday with the Mayor for all the ex-pats that live on the east side of the island. We are all what is known as “living in Santos Guardiolas.” There were people there that have lived here for 16+ years. See, it’s not that bad. The meeting was a good start, getting people together, and the Mayor asking for the ex-pats help in making this a great place to live. Bill and I are more than happy to help the mayor anyway we can.

Highway and Lola are a pair. So much so that he was trying to hump her tonight. Bill gently reminded him that “you don’t hump family.” Highway must have forgotten the golden rule.

I thought it would be a good idea to add another small bedroom downstairs. The living room was large and awkward. Bill and Miguel framed it out and had the walls up in no time. Bill finished all the drywall mudding and we are ready to re-paint the downstairs. We went to the Ace hardware store here on the island. What a joke. Previously we bought ALL of our paint there, it’s the Royal brand and it’s the best paint we have used. Now they have no paint. NO PAINT. I asked the manager for a phone number for the big store in La Ceiba and HE DIDN’T HAVE IT. Come on, seriously. I found the Ace Femosa (Hardware) store on Facebook, messaged them, found someone to speak English and now all I have to do is order and they will ship to me in a day. The store here may as well close their doors, they have no stock.

Sad news on the car front, my new to me car fell through. Pascual went to the mainland with our $$ in his hand and it had been sold. Someone offered more money and money talks. Double damn. Pascual brought another Outlander back for me to look at, 66,000 miles or so it said. The knobs were all worn and the seats were a mess.  When we got home Bill looked the VIN up online and it had 266,000 miles on it. Someone had decided to change that number a little. Actually, that made much more sense now thinking about how worn the controls were. Newer car for me failure # 3.

They are once again fixing the roads around here. It is a yearly job that could easily be done quarterly. I’ve included some of the photos of how they mark the road showing there is a huge axle breaking hole ahead. These are great, and remember, this is a 2 lane road.

Little Miss Lolita is a handful. We are still having problems with her peeing where ever she pleases. Not only does she just squat, she keeps moving when she’s peeing, making a long line of drips after the initial puddle. The other day when she peed on the porch, I said “Lola, who did this?” She ran and hid behind Highway. I’m so screwed.

Our friends Rosalie and Bob came over last week for Bill’s home made pizza. We had a great visit with them. They are from British Columbia, up on the Sunshine Coast. Rosalie and Bob have traveled a LOT and she wrote a book called, “Now THAT Wasn’t in the Brochure.”   (click on the title and it will take you to the book on Amazon) All of my reader friends, get this book and read it, it’s a fabulous adventure story. I stopped reading with about 15 pages to go because I didn’t want it to end.  I reluctantly finished the book and now I am RE-READING IT. I’m halfway through already. Great read.

As if the scorpions aren’t bad enough; last Friday night I had Lola out to pee again. I had the big spot light with me because it was dark. I was watching for scorpions and snakes and assorted other creepy crawlies. Just about the time I turned around, holding the spot light in my hand, I saw something FLYING RIGHT TOWARDS MY HEAD. OMG. It landed on my face and sat there.

It was a RHINOCEROS BEETLE. I DIED. Then I screamed, loud. I managed to;

a) not pass out

b) knock the f*%$@r off my face and stomped it’s brains out it’s ass.

c) wake my husband from a nap. I don’t think he believed me.

From now on I’ll be making a few additions to my night time “taking Lola out to pee” gig. A pair of knee high boots, a spotlight, which I will never aim towards a Rhinoceros beetle in flight, and a black flashlight to make the scorpions a little psychedelic. Oh yeah, and one other fashion accessory that my husband inadvertently thought he bought for himself:

Cleo and I did the airport thing for 5 solid hours last Saturday. It was fun but extremely tiring standing for that long. They had me out greeting people as they entered the immigration building. Hi, welcome to Roatan, is this your first time here?? I was passing out immigration forms to the people when I recognized a Facebook friend that I had not met, Sherri.  She and her husband are house sitting Stef and Jurgen’s home right now, very close to us. I also met lots of people I’ve never seen before and may never see again, answered questions, gave suggestions, it was fun and I look forward to doing it again. I just hope that the people coming here for the first time had a more positive first impression of the island and of the people here. Once I got home, I passed out. My back was killing me and I even had on my Fit Flops, next time it’s flat Havaianas for this greeter.

Sherri and Brian had a get together at their house on Tuesday afternoon. It was a nice day but there was a cool breeze, some of the ladies were freezing. My friend Jeanie was there and she was cold. My Wonder Woman friend Nidia went down in the yard, picked some lemon grass, tied it up in a ball and boiled it in water, making Lemon Grass tea. It smelled excellent. At one point Jeanie had tea in one hand and wine in the other. Nidia is an amazing lady. She is the force behind Because We Care, the group that we worked with over Christmas. So many awesome women on this island.

The rest are just some random shots. Today is Friday and it’s cloudy and cool, just the opposite of yesterday, which was beautiful. We have to go pay our taxes and then run some errands and grab some food for the weekend.

Bill is finishing his drywall mess downstairs, Lola and Highway are playing their constant game of BITE ME and poor Luck is wishing they would all just go away.

Have a great weekend everyone and those of you still living in the frigid USA, keep warm. Summer is only a few months away, unlike here, where summer lasts all year…

01/21/2015 Trace made it back home safely. He messaged me on Monday before he was heading into work. I know he’s an adult, but I still worried about him driving home from Seattle is a long & lonely drive at 1 AM. Always a mother. Always a worrier.

Trace and I hooked up with Sam Arch one afternoon to go snorkeling with the lobsters. Sherman Arch, Sam’s father is a well known islander, very respected by many people. Sherman and his 2 sons and his brother and his sons protect the marine park in French Cay. It’s a thankless job because of the people who knowingly try to poach the lobster and conch on a regular basis. The same people have no regard for the fragility of the reef, it’s sad. We had Bill drop us off at 2 and we met Sam down on the dock.

Our day with Sam was pretty fabulous. Trace really enjoyed meeting him and we realized later on that Sam and Trace share the same birthday. Small world.

We decided to go to Cal’s that evening for dinner. It’s our local, right down the road, best food on the island type of place. We ran into friends (always do there) and they came over after their meal and had a drink with us.

Because the weather was so unpredictable and wet we were kind of at a loss for fun things to do with Trace. I knew for certain and sure that I wanted to take him to La Sirena, my favorite end of the world bar and restaurant. We called Miguel to see if he wanted to go with us since he has a lot of relatives in Camp Bay. Miguel’s brother was visiting from the mainland so he came along too. His brother Winston went to college on a track and field scholarship and is the top discus thrower in Central America, winning the gold medal for Honduras. He has graduated from school and will be starting a job at a college on the mainland. Since Miguel and Winston are super tall (tall, like they won’t fit in the back seat without putting their legs out the windows) they were riding in the bed of the truck. Trace decided to ride back there with them.

Going to La Sirena is one of my favorite things to do. The ex-pats have Mondays Don’t Suck beach days on the beach that is right before you get to La Sirena. We plan to start going to them too, really looking forward to a nice beach Monday!

For our last full day with Trace we decided to go to Big French Cay (Key.) It is right across from Little French Key where I used to go but don’t go much anymore. I’m not into their lackadaisical priorities protecting the reef. However if you are coming to visit me, I will take you there as promised, but I will have said “chip on shoulder.” I am really passionate about the reef, it is the most gorgeous living thing I have ever laid eyes on and it amazes me to the depths of my soul. I can snorkel for over an hour non stop. I may be totally exhausted when I’m done but I was so enthralled with what I saw, it doesn’t matter. That is why I must get back into diving. I freaking LOVE being underwater.

We got to BFK at 10, they don’t open until 11. Bummer. We ran errands and went home, hung out for awhile, watched the storms over the water and decided the hell with it and left for the beach. Once at their dock a boat took us over to the Key. It was very nice and clean there, no snorkeling close by which was a bummer, but the same as Little French Key, the reef is not super close and the water is shallow, making it difficult to access. We had some drinks and lunch there and laid around on the chairs for awhile. it was nice until the music started. Then it was awful. Little French Key was blasting music. If that wasn’t bad enough, Big French Key starts with the music too. Here we were on the beach, stuck between 2 different music sources playing loud music at the same time. It was hateful to say the least. The epic Battle of the Beach music is guaranteed to drive away customers by the droves. Ridiculous on both of their parts. I don’t know about you but I like the sound of the waves gently lapping on the shore, the birds in the trees and just the general peaceful quietness of the beach. It’s a ZEN kind of place and blaring bass music F’s that all up.

Trace is home, he’s back to work. Wish he were still here. When Sharon came to visit she brought a mouse toy for Emmy. It squeeks if it’s jostled or touched. Emmy hated it so I gave it to Trace for Chupa. He messaged me this last night: Ok. So that squeek toy you gave me doesn’t need to be squeezed to squeek. I realized this in the Houston airport. It sounded like a damn bird was in my bag. TSA gave it some odd looks. Whatever. I got something out of my bag lid at Matts and then headed home. The whole way up it sounded like a bunch of birds were in the car. Eventually I had to stop and wrap it in a towel because I was losing my mind. I gave it to Chupa. She overlooked it until she accidentally kicked it and it let out a bunch of chirps. She popped way up in the air landing half in a cardboard box dumping the contents everywhere and took off. She is now scared shitless of it and will not even go remotely close to it. Evil squeek toy. I was pretty hysterical reading that! Guess I didn’t mention the squeeks all the time part.

If everything goes as planned I will have new to me wheels on Friday. Goodbye to Scarlett. No tears will be shed. A car guy, Pascual, found a 2006 Mitsubishi Outlander on the mainland in excellent shape. It is the same car I had in the US and one of my most loved vehicles ever. Mine was green and a 2003. It had 12 miles on it when I bought it and I put an additional 103000 miles on it and never replaced a thing except a set of tires. It was the best running car I’ve ever owned. Trace bought it from me and drives it daily. To say I am super stoked would be an understatement. It’s AWD so I can go anywhere!

Saturday I am going to be an airport greeter for 4 hours. Saturdays are a crazy day at the Roatan airport, 5 flights come in and leave in 4 hours. I can’t even begin to describe the insanity of it all. I’m hoping this Saturday will give me enough “food for thought” to do a special post about the experience. This should be fun, I’m looking forward to it!

Nidia, the fabulous lady who started Because We Care asked me if I would help teach the ladies on Brass Hill how to sew. They just got a solar powered sewing machine. The hope is that they can learn to sew, make things to sell and contribute to their families. This is a very very poor area, there is no water, no power, and no septic. The people live in homes made of any variety of building materials they can find. This is one of the places we delivered food and toys to for Christmas, most of the children do not have shoes and do not go to school. Their futures are bleak. Anything that can be done to help them earn money on their own is a positive step in the right direction. I’m very excited about helping out with this project. They also have the school drive coming up where they donate school books, paper, pencils, markers and other essentials to the schools; next is the TOM’s shoe drive.

Bill and I want to be involved with Nidia’s group as much as we can because at the very center of everything she does is love. She does all of this FROM HER HEART, no ulterior motives at all. The only thing in it for her is the fact that she has helped all of these people. She also owns and operates her own business in downtown Coxen Hole. She really is one helluva woman.

The rest are random photos from the last week.

Even though Trace just left I’m already planning things to do when he comes again. I’m hoping that maybe he and Chance could come together, that would be awesome to have them both here. Then maybe I could kidnap them (is it still kidnap if they are your kids to begin with?) and not ever let them leave. It would be so much fun.  Chance and Trace, you are missed very much..every minute of every day.

P.S. I took Lola down to go potty tonight (totally useless thing for me to do because she pees ONLY when she gets back up on the porch) and she scampered off the lower porch to the yard. Something caught my eye and I turned around to see a big 3″ scorpion climbing up the wall onto the porch. I yelled for Bill then I ACTUALLY cornered the shitting thing until Bill came down and killed it. It took 2 good stomps. Call me Jungle Girl.

 

 

 

01/18/2015 How can a week have flown by? I can’t believe Trace is on his way home, so not fair that days are too short and pass by so quickly. Especially when you are with your kids. We are so freaking sad.

We had a great week with Trace, despite the miserably sucky ugly but still warm rainy season weather that was stalled over the island for much of the week. The day Trace arrived we had a full blown rain from hell storm, winds howling, raining sideways, all the dogs in the house. Not much you can do about it but stay inside and stay dry.

On Sunday we decided to hit West Bay beach for some snorkeling; we took Lola the Terrible with us. Big mistake. We were almost there when she puked all over me while I was holding her. I was covered in semi solid puppy vomit. Extra nice. I carried her all the way down the beach and Bill puppy sat while Trace and I snorkeled. She was not liking the beach except for the fact she could dig to Africa while there. I tried to take Lola out on the raft like I did Highway when he was a pup but she was having none of that shit. Man,  she can squirm. This excursion was my first time putting the new camera underwater and I was so nervous. I checked 16,391 times to make sure all the doors were double locked. The water was not very clear due to the crazy storm we had the night before but the pics came out pretty good anyhow.

We went home after we left the beach and got cleaned up and went to Parrot Tree Palapa for lunch. It was a semi nice afternoon but the food was not as good as it usually is, not encouraging at all. After we ate we went over to the pool and hung out for a while. It was more crowded than normal, meaning it’s usually DEAD.

On Monday Bill, Trace and I ran some errands in the morning, then Trace, Cleo and I went to Coxen Hole to get some movies. I took a stick and got 16 movies put on it for the price of 8 (about $24.00.) I got Mockingjay part 1, The Imitation Game, Big Eyes, Gone Girl, And So it Goes, some for Trace, and the Hobbit and a few others for Bill. What a deal and the quality is excellent. I loved Gone Girl!!

The weather was ugly so we headed to the Iguana Farm another morning. There were lots of iguanas but most were up in the trees because of the rain; except for the ones that were closing in on me. Sam said they thought my camera strap was a banana so they were after it. I hid it very quickly.

Aaah, yes, the rain. We got stuck in a heavy downpour while there, it rained buckets.

I introduced Trace to our friend Sam Arch while at the iguana farm. He said he would take us snorkeling whenever we want to go. Something to look forward to since the marine life is great in French Cay.

We decided to chance it and go to Havana Beach Club on Wednesday, despite the fact it was a cruise ship day. We were surprised when we got there because there was nobody else there. We had Lola & Highway, I know, crazy is as crazy does.

Highway was beyond exuberant, he was downright obnoxious. He loves the water, Lola, her majesty, doesn’t.

Trace and I walked out to the tip of the island and saw lots of cool stuff.

Then we realized that the horses SHIT ALL OVER THE BEACH RIGHT ALONG THE WATER LINE. It wasn’t just one pile but a line of horse shit. Once the owner saw it he flipped out and got it cleaned up immediately, which we appreciated, however, by then it had ruined our idyllic afternoon.

We had planned to take Trace to the cow and calf snorkeling earlier in the week but the weather wasn’t that great sucked. The one day I lined up a boat but the weather turned nasty in an hours time and there was no way Jordan could come all the way from Helene to get us. The sea was rough and it poured, again. Such is the rainy season.

Here it is Sunday evening, Trace is in Houston on his way home. I was so depressed on our drive home from the airport, well, we both  were. Time spent with the boys is so meaningful to us, I keep trying to remind myself that I was lucky that I got to see him for 8 days and need to stop whining about him being gone already. I miss my boys so much it hurts.

I followed the Seahawk game online and via Chance on Facebook and I can’t believe they pulled it out. Trace messaged me from Houston and said: They were down 11 with 3:30 to play when I landed. I ran through the terminal and got to the tv just in time to watch them win in OT. I lost my shit and everyone was hugging. Quite the moment!

A parting shot, indicative of my life with this girl.

 

I’m going to post the last week with Trace in two blogs, way too much for my brain if I do only one. Part 2 to follow soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

01/09/2015  A new year, another birthday. Thank you to everyone who took the time to wish me a Happy Birthday, I felt the love.

This boring post will have to hold you over until Trace has gone home, he comes this Saturday and leaves the 18th. We are beside ourselves with excitement AND also really excited for Highway to see him. Highway adores Trace. When my ankle got broken Trace walked him and Dooce for me every day when he got home from work. Highway could hear Trace’s car before it even got near our house.. He is going to go ballistic, I just hope he doesn’t have a coronary, he is a little hyper to begin with.

And Lola, holy shit man, this dog is something else. Forget the fact that she is only 8 weeks old, she is one crazy little girl. She has no fear of anything, she does not want held, she runs up and down all of the steps, yesterday I found her sitting on the ROOF. She is bound and determined to do it her way. Trying to hold on to her is like attempting to wrangle a hippopotamus for a suppository. The Queen of Squirm. She is attached to Highway, everywhere he goes, she does. Sometimes she is hanging from his jowls, literally, you can see his skin stretched. I stop her, take her away from him, tell her no and she turns around and jumps right back on him.

This past week has been spent cleaning the downstairs before Trace comes. Well, cleaning and watching a puppy. The puppy is like a full time job and then some, especially when she wakes you at 2:30 AM howling her little head off. This has only happened once since the first night from hell when we brought her home. It was just the other night and we determined that she was hungry. We fed her and she went back to sleep. Now we feed her at 8 PM to lessen the chances that she gets hungry in the middle of the night. She is relentless with poor Highway though, I really do feel sorry for him. His patience is unlimited, I never knew he had it in him. Life certainly has come full circle. He grew up doing these exact same things to Dooce and she very gently took his abuse. Now Dooce is gone and he is in her position, he is the one being bitten and nipped at constantly.

When they do chill, she is always right next to him.

There is the rare occurence when she decides to get close to Lucky and he’s all like, “what is this shit, get it away from me, NOW.”

We went to Chuck and Nancy’s on Sunday afternoon so Bill could look at their washer and attempt to run a test to determine what the problem is but it wouldn’t run the test, back to square 1. While there Nancy made some margaritas. Neither Bill or I had eaten all day and the drinks hit us like a wrecking ball to the middle of the forehead. Holy crap, haven’t been that drunk for a very long time and I will never be that drunk again. I have sworn never to touch tequila for the rest of my time on earth. It’s just plain evil shit. We got home around 6 and had dogs to feed and had to find food for us. Not me, nope, I went to the bedroom, laid down and passed out for 5 hours. I think Bill fed the dogs. I never ate, I was too drunk. I even slept in the clothes I wore to Nancy’s, that’s how freaking pitiful I was.

Both of us felt like tremendous piles of crap on Monday morning and I had a massage scheduled at 10 AM. I made a big breakfast to help expel all the tequila toxins that were swirling deliriously in my Italian blood. I really wanted to crawl back in bed but I drug myself to French Cay and made it to see Susie on time. She gave me one heck of a massage. It hurt like hell and I knew it would. I like pain, I will pay for it. That’s why I had a broken ankle surgically repaired and a knee replacement in 5 short months. Glutton. I have been having neck issues and snorkeling around the cow last Sunday did not help that issue. I was ready for the pain of the massage, each time she said take a deep breath, hold it, let it out slowly, I knew I was in for an ass kicking. Susie is a little thing but holy crap, she gives a massage like a 300# man would. She obviously knows what she is doing and I knew I wouldn’t be better after 1 visit, I mean, she’s not magic. If only she were.

One of the (many) infuriating things about island life is that many times we’ll go to the grocery store and they have NOTHING. Not a decent red or green pepper, no lettuce, the broccoli is so bad I doubt pigs would even eat it. It’s like black rubber, so gross. No jalapenos, no papayas or pineapples, no cheese, no juice, no bread, no ice cream. NO VODKA. WTH???You think I would be used to this after living here but it still pisses me off.  It’s a pain in the ass to keep going back to see if they got their stuff in yet. Usually fresh stuff comes MWF, I was there on a M and a W and nada. All you people living stateside, be greatful your grocery store ALWAYS has the food you want.

We have both been going on the morning dog walks. Before Bill was taking all 3, Lola not on a leash, but she spent so much time snarling and snapping and pulling on the boys leashes he wouldn’t take her anymore. We bought her a camo harness and leash (she’ll probably chew through it soon.) Bill handles the boys and I wrangle the wild one. She nips at their ankles walking down the hill. Several times on the walks Highway has peed on her head. she doesn’t learn.

Junior and Alexi have been working on John’s generator and hanging out here in between working. They were standing in our driveway talking and I suggested they cut down the tree in the middle of the driveway. I mean seriously, with my history of things appearing out of nowhere behind me and being hit by my car because they were in my  car’s way, why would you have a tree in the driveway?

Here in the jungle, we have vultures, lots of them. The other day was a gorgeously windy day and they were riding the thermals in the valley, there were over 12 of them at one time. For some reason they liked perching on this pole and actually had a few fights over who got pole top. Interesting and very ugly birds of prey.

This afternoon we were on the deck in the sun with the dogs when Highway and Luck started their don’t make me come down there and kill you barking. I got up to look and there were 3 guys and a kid coming up the driveway with 3 dogs. Our dogs, Lola included, were in a frenzy. As they walked by the house I noticed the kid was carrying a Watusa or Agouti by the tail, it had its head whacked off. Obviously their dinner. UGH!

I apologize for the sheer boredom of this blog, you can’t have excitement every day of the week, or can you? Well, I guess you can living down here but if you’re trying to get things done at home you miss out on all some of the fun.

Bill just came up from outside, he was scorpion hunting with a black light. They glow if you shine it on them. I bet all of you will be clamoring for your turn to come to Roatan to go on Scorpion hunts with Bill at night.

I’ll be back after the 18th with a new and improved camera for above ground and underwater photos, hopefully I will have lots of fun things to blather on about!

And remember, tequila is evil shit. Stay away.