Day 5 in La Mosquitia was a busy day. Eric, the mayor, Edgardo and his wife Graciela picked us up after breakfast and we set off to visit some communities. We started our day by going to the store and buying soda and water and snacks, and candy for the Mayor to pass out to the kids.
Getting to anywhere in the area is not easy. The people in Roatan complain about the state of the roads, Puerto Lempira roads make ALL of the roads on Roatan seem like super highways. I saw one partially paved road in the city, the rest are dirt, red dirt. Dusty red dirt that gets slippery when wet and very dusty when dry.
We drove for awhile until we got to the community of Palkaka. A while ago when the mayor was running for office one of the men in Palkaka told the mayor he would vote for him if he brought him a gringo wife.
We left there and made the drive to Tansin. Don’t ask where it was because I’ll say, “Right there.”
Tansin is an amazingly gorgeous place sitting on the banks of Lake Caratasca. The trees were huge mango trees, everywhere. I don’t mean a few, I mean groves of them. And breadfruit. We walked to the lake with some women and kids and while we were standing there talking a breadfruit the size of a football, but harder, fell from high up in the tree. Good grief, that sucker could put you in a coma. I think hard hats should be required.
While I was on the dock taking photos a young woman walked down and out into the lake in her clothes and bathed. She had a bucket with her which may have contained her wash.
We walked to a different area of the community / village. Let me explain this, there is so damn much land in La Mosqiuitia that the people build in small villages within a community. The communities themselves cover a very large area for each location. It’s not just what you see when you are walking the path to the lake or going to the school. These communities go waaaaaay back and get a little more remote and simple the further back they go. It’s someplace you just want to get lost in, visit the people who live basically cut off from society. It’s really not that bad of a thing. When I was in Kaukira, even Puerto Lempira, I thought about the not having power until 6 PM daily situation. It was totally doable. So much less.
It was late in the afternoon so we headed back to town. Tomorrow will be the big day of unloading
The next day we were picked up late morning to go to where the container was. When we arrived the truck they use to move the containers was out delivering so we had to wait for it to get back.
We unloaded all of the furniture first so we could get to the mattresses. While doing so Nidia and Graciela, the Mayor’s wife had to pee. We were in the middle of nowhere so they walked out into the woods. While out there they noticed a house across the water with a guy out front. They started to yell and jump around trying to get the guys attention. He jumped in his Cayuco and paddled over, thinking they needed help. All they really wanted was to give him a mattress and some school stuff for his younger siblings.
After several truck loads (the Nicaragua bus truck was delivering for us also), we finally got the container emptied. Next stop, the school in Mistruk. It was almost dark, Nidia was going to wait for the Nicaragua bus truck guy so I rode in the stuck truck with 2 men I’ve never met. Neither spoke any language I could speak so not a word was uttered the whole way there. Several times on the ride I envisioned us getting stuck and being there for a while until someone came along. The sounds of silence. We didn’t get stuck until we got to the school. And boy was he stuck.
We got everything unloaded and sorted, shoes in one room, clothes in another, mattresses in yet another. Now we had the long drive home. We had 4 military police guarding the school.
The mayor picked us up at 6 the next morning and we went by boat to Laka, a very impoverished area. We took enough food to feed the whole village. They did not know we were coming but soon after we got out of the boat, word had spread and people were coming out of the houses.
My mother had recently passed away and she had a lot of costume jewelry. Neither my sister nor I wear it but we just didn’t want to “give it away” since it meant a lot to Mom. We decided I should take it with me and pass it out to ladies who don’t have much. Taking it to La Mosquitia was perfect and after we passed out the food, Nidia suggested I pass out the jewelry. She and Rose Mary and I walked around putting pins, earrings and necklaces on ladies. BLING in a very remote part of the world.
We left there, went back to a different place where Eric picked us up and we were off to Mistruk.
We knew there would be a lot of people but had no idea there would be as many as there were. It was crazy.
We started with the school kids. They all got shoes, sandals, backpacks, school supplies, deodorant, toothpaste and tooth brush and hugs. They all got hugs. And boy did they hug back, some of them even kissed me. It was amazing, they weren’t pretend hugs either.
We passed out little girls’ dresses made by the ladies at Live Again Ministries.
The next morning the mayor and Eric were waiting for us at 6 AM for our ride to the airport and our flight to La Ceiba and then on to Roatan.
We had an hour wait there and I was starving so Nidia called her friend the taxi driver and told him to go get us a pizza and bring it to the airport. He did! Food never tasted so good. Our flight home took about 15 minutes.
I was happy to be home but happier that I went. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The good news is, we are going back.
One of the best things I ever did on Roatan was introduce myself to Nidia Webster. Without this woman in my life I wouldn’t be having these amazing giving experiences. Roatan Because We Care is her community grassroots organization and believe me when I say, this woman can move mountains. She does so much for the island of Roatan, and now Puerto Lempira, blessed to call her my bestie.
As I reached for a tea cup this morning, pausing for a second to decide which one I felt like using, it made me think about La Mosquitia again. There are no choices there, you get a cup and you use it. Is that really so bad?
The morning that the dogs woke us chasing the horses was bright and sunny. I woke up sweating because when the power shut off, so did the fan. I went out to the front porch where Rose Mary was sitting, enjoying the breeze. She picked some lemon grass and some other small fruits. She made tea from the lemongrass, it was delicious.
While we were waiting for the Mayor to come get us, the laundry lady came with her daughter in her cayuco. The little girl, Hila was more interested in what we were doing.
The weird thing, staying at the teachers house in Kaukira, there was a tower in her backyard, we had a 4 G signal the whole time we were there, however it was always a mad dash to charge our phones because power was for a limited time only.
The Mayor and his wife and Speedy Gonzales picked us up the next morning in the fastest boat in La Mosquitia. Today I tried to wear a hat but not having a ponytail to help hold it on meant I had to keep one hand on it at all times. I wish they had speed limits on rivers. We loaded all of our luggage into the boat as we were going to be staying in Puerto Lempira the next night. We went to Kaukira first to get 60 gallons of gas and a cooler of drinks and snacks.
We passed the area we went to the day before to look at the health clinic and soon we were in a large lagun again. From there we saw waterways in many directions, veering off into the jungle or mangroves. We passed through a few small communities and came upon one Nidia named Bali wood. Most all of the homes were on stilts over the water. If they weren’t on stilts they were on the waters edge. There were children playing, cows grazing, horses, chickens and pigs everywhere we looked. Luckily we had to go slow through here as it was very shallow.
After we got through this area we turned right and were on a large swift river. If we had turned left we would have gone to Nicaragua. The river was gorgeous with many small communities dotting the river banks. We saw dozens of families in their cayucos, just barely above the water. Speedy slowed down when we got near them so we didn’t swamp them with water. Most of them were carrying fruit, supplies, a chicken, even saw a dog.
I noticed this tree and Nidia said they were nests so Speedy turned around so we could go look at it.
I thought I was on the set of Avatar, this area was just magical. Click HERE to get more info on this bird. I have never seen anything like this before.
We were still hauling A$$ with Speedy at the controls. The Mayor wanted to take us to an area called Tuburus. The community is divided by the swift river. The children on one side have to take a boat across the water to go to school. The banks are steep and quite slippery. Last year 3 children drown, this year they’ve lost 2 so far. They asked the government to build a bridge but they are not interested. They said there aren’t enough people. We would like to build a school on the other side because building a bridge would be a difficult and expensive job.
When we left here we went in the same direction we came from, past the tree with the hanging nests, very slow through Bali Wood because the tide was out and it was really shallow.
On the way home we passed this boat laden with bananas and plantains so we pulled up alongside of them and bought some of their stuff.
Once we got back into the Lagun, Speedy started speeding again. We went back to Kaukira, got more gas and an elderly man joined us. It was late afternoon as we headed across Lake Caratasca in a totally different direction. We were going to the village of Krata where they needed a new kindergarten built.
The next morning we lazed around. The Mayor had things to do during the day and wasn’t going to have us picked up until later on. Nidia and Rose Mary and I went for a stroll. I wanted to buy another card for my camera so I didn’t run out of room with photos. (I forgot my other 32gb card). We found a store and I got a card. From there we went to a restaurant where they had breakfast. Nidia needed to get a Claro chip for her phone so we walked to the Claro booth in the town square. Nidia asked the lady at the Claro booth where she could get a pedicure. The woman’s daughter was with her so she sent her with us. She was a sweet girl named Sharon. Sharon found a beauty salon and Nidia had her pedi and I sat beside her and charged my phone. I was almost giddy when I saw they had electric.
Around 4 PM he pulled up and we all jumped in his truck and set out for Mistruk. This is where we planned to distribute the things that we brought on Monday. However, Island Shipping could not get their boat in the channel because the tide was out and the water was too low so everything was pushed back a day. We had to go to Mistruk and tell them this.
It is a beautiful drive to Mistruk, all on a dirt road, nice red dirt. Every now and then we would come across a small village and then back to barren land with rolling hills and sparse trees. It would have made a fabulous golf course.
When we finally got to Mistruk the whole community was waiting for us. They thought we were bringing things for them.
We left there late and went back to Puerto Lempira. After we got cleaned up we went to the hotel restaurant for dinner. We took our last bottle of wine up there and drank it while we ate.
Not long after that we were sound asleep, waiting to be picked up early the next morning. More adventures await us.
“Poverty is hunger. Poverty is lack of shelter. Poverty is being sick and not being able to see a doctor. Poverty is not having access to school and not knowing how to read. Poverty is not having a job, is fear for the future, living one day at a time.
Poverty has many faces, changing from place to place and across time, and has been described in many ways. Most often, poverty is a situation people want to escape. So poverty is a call to action — for the poor and the wealthy alike — a call to change the world so that many more may have enough to eat, adequate shelter, access to education and health, protection from violence, and a voice in what happens in their communities.”
Wow, really, where do I start. My friend Layle said “I’m sure all those rich experiences are shifting around in your mind as you go about your daily routine and when you are ready to sit down and type it’s all going to flow” and I tend to believe her because she is such a spiritual soul.
I have decided to do this by days because mentally, I can’t do the whole thing at once, I saw so much.
This was a once in a lifetime trip (although I do look forward to going back, despite being hungry and dirty for a week). The people I met and the places my eyes saw will forever be in my mind. La Mosquitia (or Miskitia or Moskito, call it what you want) is one of the most beautiful places you can imagine. It’s rolling hills and pine forests or woodland vegetation with every type of bromeliad growing out of the trees, catching your eye as you drive by in a truck or in a boat. The way the mangroves grow is like nothing I’ve ever seen. There were more mango trees that your mind can even imagine and breadfruit and sweet little dark plum colored, avocado shaped berries.
I was with Nidia and her sister Rose Mary. We were hosted by the mayor of Puerto Lempira, Edgardo Saicion and his wife Graciela. They are humble, wonderful people. The municipal driver was named Eric and he was on time every single day to pick us up. He used to live on Roatán. They treated us like royalty. We listened to American Country while riding across the vast barren land.
The Mayor of Roatán municipal (and Nidia’s boss, she is a council woman) Jerry Hynds, owns Island Shipping. He offered us a 40′ container and free shipping to Puerto Lempira. Without his generosity, this mission would have not happened. Also thank you to the Galaxy Wave for donating our tickets to La Ceiba. Many thanks also to the people who donated.
So, are the people we visited living in poverty? They have shelter, food (albeit limited choices) is available and the most basic of needs. They have little to no clothes or shoes, they have no beds, they have no running water, no electricity, no toilet paper, the schools have no books or paper or pencils, crayons and coloring books are unheard of. Do they miss what they know nothing about?
This is the great debate going on in my head. Do the people that I saw in the insanely gorgeous remote areas living the simplest life imaginable really have it so bad? They know nothing about how we live. They have no TV, see no newspapers or magazines or even books. Their knowledge is quite limited and based on routine daily, not life experiences. Could the majority of these people function in our crazy world? Do they even want to? I think not, however, the children that I saw all had this blank, empty look in their eyes, they were there, but not there. Only when I could surprise them with a photo of themselves, did I get a remnant of a smile. One little girl looked at the photo, then down at her dress that she was wearing, then back to the photo. Her eyes were not believing that she was looking at herself. Can you imagine not knowing what you look like? I think the blank stare is due to lack of experiencing emotion, things are just the same for them every day. Our visit was a big deal.
My trip began at the ferry terminal at 1 PM on Wed the 8th of August for the 2 PM ferry to La Ceiba. I met Nidia and her sister Rose Mary there, we did our check in and went inside and waited for the ferry to leave. I took a small cooler loaded with food because I don’t eat meat, fish, seafood or beans. Yes, I’m a really horrible snoop and was quite nervous about what I would eat for a week.
The ferry was on time, as always, and Nidia’s taxi driver Donald was waiting for us when we arrived. He took us to our hotel, The Emperador in Ceiba. Later on Donald took us to Little Cesar’s Pizza. I was starving by that point. We had him pick us up and take us back to the hotel and we went on the roof and drank a bottle of wine. I mean, why not, we were on an adventure.
Donald was a few minutes late picking us up to take us to the Ceiba airport at 0 Dark 30 AM. Nidia gave him a large portion of her mind that morning for being late, I couldn’t stop laughing.
While paying our departure tax Nidia ran in to her friend, the man we were going to see, the Mayor of Puerto Lempira and his wife. They were on our 90 minute flight to Puerto Lempira. When we landed, I was kind of surprised to find out it was a dirt runway. Pretty smooth but I imagine it turns into a dust bowl during the dry season and a slimy mess during the rains. When we arrived, since we were guests of the mayor, there were men to carry our bags and drive us to the ferry dock. We walked around town for a little bit and visited a school where there was a celebration going on. The vice Mayor told me I could go stand in the middle of the ceremony that was going on and take photos. So, WTH, why not?
After our tour through town, {where I bought a Claro chip for 10L and a week of internet for 100L because TIGO didn’t work where we were}, we went down to the dock, we were going on a boat ride. The dock was really long with several perpendicular docks abutting it. Problem is, the water was shallow. Real shallow and the boats, especially those with larger motors had trouble getting out to the deeper water. We loaded our suitcases on the boat and the Mayor, Nidia, Rose Mary, one woman with a small baby and another woman with 2 young children were on board. This boat had a 200HP motor on it, way too much for the type of boat that it was. The woman with the 2 kids had haphazardly put on the life vest that was given to her, it flopped and blew in the breeze the whole trip. We crossed the lake like a bat out of hell with Speedy Gonzalez, our boat captain. If we were in a race, we won for sure. No other boat would be insane enough to go that fast. It took me a long time to untangle my hair and my butt is still sore.
Once we crossed the lake we took a narrow channel that T’d into another channel. We were in the town of Kaukira. Kaukira is located on a thin spit of land between the Caribbean and the channel of water that runs between the town shores. We parked on a dock and I feebly got out of the boat. Let me state this now, I suck at getting in and out of boats. I have a knee that does not bend, it makes for very clumsy entrances / exits for me. Happy to entertain the troops, it’s all fun and games until someone breaks an ankle or falls out of a stationary boat. I did neither.
We walked through town with the Mayor, stopping here and there while Nidia looked for food. I saw a male cat attempting to force himself on a young kitty girl, she was screeching and having no part of it. Two old men sat on the porch and were oblivious to what was going on. I stomped my foot to break his attention and she ran away and hid under the low steel shelving for water bottles.
It’s nothing to have a bull walk down the dirt road. I saw 2 dogs chasing one at one point. We went to a cell phone store and the Mayor bought a baseball cap and we met the profa. She was a teacher at the Kaukira school and she had offered her house to us the first night. The boat took us over to see the place, we unloaded our luggage and the mayor’s brother guarded it while we entered another race with Speedy Gonzalez at the throttle. We went down river to see a health center that needed a new roof. The Dr spoke English so we had a nice chat.
We did a little more touring and then went back to the teachers house to hang out. I made friends with her 4 dogs by feeding them pretzels. The teacher made food for everyone, I had rice and some slaw. The mayor and his brother were still there. They left after a late lunch and were going to pick us up at 7 the next morning. After they left, the teacher was going to take us all in her cayuco across the water so we could walk to the beach. As we were getting ready to go, the Mayor came back because he had to change the time to pick us up so they took us across to the main part of town and the teacher met us there.
The teacher showed us the third grade class room, the roof has a huge hole so they have to all move to the opposite end of the room when it rains. It wouldn’t take much to fix this.
We walked for about 20 minutes until we came to the ocean.
We were anxious to get back to the house and get showers and sit some where other than a boat. The electric was to come on once the generator was started. They turned on the water pump so we could shower. I’m not used to cold showers or dunking a bowl in a big barrel of water to rinse off with. This was a first for me. Regardless, it felt great to get clean. After all showers were done, it was dark and the bugs were really bad outside so we stayed in the house, Nidia and Rose Mary were working on cooking the conch and crab legs they got. Me? I ate granola bars and surfed the internet.
We went to sleep early, we were beat. At around 4 AM (about when the generator shut off) the dogs started barking like crazy and it didn’t stop for a long time. They were running around the outside of the house. We found out later a few horses had gotten in to the fenced yard and the dogs were having a fit and the horses were in a frenzy. I think I went back to sleep for awhile after that. You just never know what to expect next.
So ends our first day in La Mosquitia. Please follow along, we’re just getting started, there will be 2 more blogs about the trip.
August 17, 2018 If you read my last blog you know my recent trip to Maryland was not fun and games. Mom had two strokes my first full day there and was hospitalized. After a few days in the hospital they moved her to rehab hoping she would get stronger. Rehab was in the same place where they lived independently in an apartment. However, when they moved in there a little over a year ago, the stipulation was they could live there as a couple, not individually, realizing they needed each other to function semi normally. Dad was a trooper when she was in rehab, he kept reminding her she needed to get strong so she could go home. She fought us tooth and nail. She was bound and determined to go home to her apartment. She would say to Dad, why do you let them do this to me? You used to take care of me, speak up. In his state of confusion and hurt he could not even answer her.
One afternoon I was talking to her on the phone while she was in rehab and she said to me, “you won’t believe what your Grandfather did.” (I assumed she meant my Father) My Grandfather has been dead for 40+ years. She said she had asked the nurse for coffee and they never brought it so her dad (my Grandfather) went out in the hall and told the nurse, “my daughter needs some coffee.” And they finally brought her some. She also had been talking to my sister about being with Uncle George and what they were doing. Uncle George died soon after I was born. She never talked about them before like they were here, in the present. Very strange.
I left on a Friday to go back to Roatan. Mom spent almost 2 weeks in the rehab center, they had to move her from a double room to a single room because she was causing so much trouble. Missy said while there Mom called 911 three times one evening and said she was being held against her will. They took the phone away temporarily. She would not stay in her room. She would find plastic bags and take all of her neatly organized folded clothes out of the drawers and stuff them in the bags and go wait at the nurses station for someone to pick her up. It was really sad. She spent so much time at the nurses station we could never reach her on the phone in her room. Missy tried so many times one day she ended up calling the nurses station to have them check on Mom and MOM ANSWERED THE PHONE AT THE NURSES STATION. Oh yes she did. This woman did not give up. Missy went there once and Mom was in her room while Dad was having breakfast with some man he did not know. Mom was doing the rehab therapy but she hated it, she said it hurt and maybe it did. It was OK with her being there because as long as Dad could find his way over (his apartment was adjacent and connected to rehab) he would spend the day with her. She was sleeping much of the day at this point.
A week after I left, Missy went to the center on a Sunday morning and found Mom slumped in a chair at the nurses station. Nobody seemed to be paying attention to her at all. Missy tried to talk to her and she acted like she had another stroke. She was slurring her words and didn’t open her eyes. The right side of her body seemed affected. Missy called a nurse and they called 911. The paramedics came and took her in the ambulance. The one paramedic said probable/possible stroke victim. Once at the hospital they put her on the observation floor again. They did a brain MRI the same day and an EEG the next day. They showed nothing. They also checked her for a UTI, no infection there. They then decided she had pneumonia and started treating her for that. This whole time she was pretty much non responsive. Every now and then she would have a moment of lucidity but it didn’t last long before she slipped back into her non responsive state. Missy and Dad spent the next couple of days with her. Missy went over one evening and Mom woke but didn’t know who she was. Then she asked where Missy was. Missy was putting Vaseline on her lips because they were so dry, she was only breathing through her mouth and Missy said she had a very odd snoring sound. Dad called me one evening, very stressed but very matter of fact saying your mother isn’t good. She’s not doing well. I kept trying to remain positive saying once the antibiotics kick in she will snap out of it. However, I didn’t believe she had pneumonia. She was having no difficulty breathing so why were they saying that? This continued for 3 days, strong antibiotics, no response. She was not eating or drinking.
I always mute my phone at night and Thursday morning I picked it up while I was still in bed and saw that my sister had called 3 times. I knew this was not a good sign. I called her back right away and she said the hospital had called and that Mom’s body was shutting down. She was on her way to get Dad and going to the hospital. Mark (Missy’s husband) and her son Eric also made it to the hospital. Dad was holding Mom’s hand when she passed. She was not in pain, she was not suffering, she just slipped away within 15 minutes of Missy and Dad arriving at the hospital. I think she waited.
Missy called me right after she passed, she was crying and so was I. I know, she was 92, she had a cancerous tumor in her stomach, she had terrible asthma problems and just recently her mind began to slip but we weren’t quite ready to say good-bye. We were waiting for her to get over the pneumonia and start being bossy and angry again.
I know that my parents were/are old, most of my friends no longer have theirs, we were lucky. I knew they would not live forever but I didn’t expect Mom to go like this. I started digging around on-line, still upset at the pneumonia diagnosis and the fact that the meds did nothing. I found an excellent article about dying: www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/09/what-it-feels-like-to-die/499319/ and sent it to Missy.
After Miss read it she said: Wow, this is exactly all the things Mom was doing. Especially the lifting of the arm- the left arm for her. I thought maybe she was thinking of therapy…And seeing Uncle George and talking more about Pop Pop, that fit right in… and closing her eyes… and the half awake state… and the senses going in a certain order. It seems so clear that the dying process started a while back, no wonder the antibiotics couldn’t take hold. She was already going… and we didn’t even realize it. In fact, she started the ‘confusion’ on that Tuesday morning before she even left the hospital.
Yes, she did start the confusion the day they moved her to rehab. We thought it was all the changes but it was something much deeper, something out of our control. Our Mother was dying and nobody at the hospital even remotely suggested that. They said, she may be dehydrated or wait until the antibiotics kick in, when it was already too late to fix anything.
It seemed like a bad dream and someone was going to say she is OK. She was not.
We did not have a service for Mom, she and Dad both decided to donate their bodies to the anatomy board of Maryland, which is an awesome thing to do.
My heart ached for my Dad, they have been together 73 years and would have celebrated their 70th anniversary the 31st of July, a day before her 93rd birthday. I immediately booked another ticket back to Maryland. This time our oldest son Chance was meeting me there.
My sister and her husband are saints, seriously they are. They have done so much for my parents over the last 10-12 years. Not just pretending to be there but really honestly being there. There is a huge difference. They could not have had any better care. The depth of their giving is overwhelming. I’m so appreciative and feel like crap because I live here and they are there.
I arrived back in Baltimore at midnight and Missy and Chance picked me up at the airport. It was late when we got home so everyone went to bed. The next day Chance and I went over to see Dad, it was right before lunch. We went down to the dining hall with him, he seemed lost. He ordered food from the menu that was something I never ever saw him eat. Mark met us there and we all ended up going to Missy and Mark’s house. Sophie and Eric came to spend some time with us. Missy made a big meal with corn on the cob (so yummy). After dinner we sat at the table and talked and Dad and Chance had some ice cream. We were cleaning up the table and I was walking to the kitchen with Dad behind me. He had an empty can of coke in his hands. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him crumble to the ground. I reached for him but he was already down. He tried to get back up but we kept him down, he was leaning on my legs. Eric called 911 as Dad was unresponsive, eyes glazed over and he was drooling. When he came to, he yawned 9 times in a row which can indicate a number of things health wise (other than being tired). The paramedics arrived and at that point Dad was nauseated but he did not get sick. They put him on a stretcher and took him to the hospital. After a test they said that he probably had a seizure and they wanted to observe him overnight AND, he had fractured his humerus. They put him in a sling and said it would heal on it’s own. We all trekked up to the hospital room and Missy and I started tearing up because it was a few doors away from where Mom had been. They kept Dad overnight, the Doc on duty said he has the heart of a 70 year old man, he could not believe he is 97. Of course Dad told him he was 92.
The next day they discharged him but instead of going back to his apartment alone we took him to Missy’s. They had Dad on seizure medicine and it made him a zombie. All he did was sleep, we would wake him at 9:30 in the morning, he NEVER slept that late. He would get up, eat breakfast and fall asleep. Missy put in a call to the Doctor but it took him 3 days to return her call. By that time we had weaned him off the seizure meds and he was becoming more like himself. When Miss finally talked to the Doc he said what we chose to do was fine, especially if it was helping him with his mental state. I honestly believe many elderly people are over medicated, keep them asleep and they won’t need much. Such would have been the case with Dad had he been in a nursing home. It’s very sad the way the elders are treated, especially those with no voice for themselves and nobody to step in and be their voice. Again, thanks to my sister and brother-in-law.
Slowly Dad started to come out of the “fog” he was in due to the meds he was taking. He stayed awake most of the day. I could tell he was bored and he had no interest in TV at all, not even CNN, his favorite to watch for hours on end.
Monday evening after dinner, Missy drove me to a hotel where I spent the night for my 6 AM flight. My flight home was uneventful, the dogs were happy to see me again.
The day I arrived home they were taking Dad back to his apartment. Missy and Mark had scheduled help to come 3 times a day, in the morning to make sure he takes his medicine, showers and puts on clean clothes (that are laid out at night by the night help) and that he goes to breakfast. We were having someone go at 3:30 to ensure he was awake and going to go to dinner and another visit at 7:30 to lay out his clothes for the next day, make sure everything is ok and he’s good for the night.
Unfortunately Mr Stubborn is not really nice to these people and doesn’t let them in to his apartment, especially the evening person. This may be due to Sundowning Missy and Mark and Dad met with the director of the center where he lives. They offered him a studio or a small one bedroom in Assisted Living. He is still in Independent Living, he’s 97. He said he wasn’t interested in either of them. What we were not aware of was that they would allow him to remain in his apartment as long as he had people coming in to check on him, so that is where it stands right now.
I spoke with him this morning and he was in a great mood. I try to have a normal conversation with him, we used to talk on the phone for an hour only a few years ago. No more. I still enjoy talking to him. Today he said he was lonely and I told him I knew he was and I was sorry. He then rapidly changed the subject to something going on outside in the courtyard.
While I was still with my sister we boxed up all of Mom’s clothes and her costume jewelry and coats out of the bedroom while Chance entertained Dad at lunch. Miss and I went through the clothes at her house one evening and boxed almost everything, we each kept a few pieces of clothes. I brought all of her costume jewelry with me and Miss and I decided I would hand it out to the women in an impoverished area, add some bling to their lives.
I just came back from a week in La Moskitia, mainland Honduras. We went to a very remote village called Laka and passed out food. We decided these were the ladies who would get the jewelry. Nidia and I took necklaces, earrings and pins and decorated the ladies outfits. They loved them. The whole time I was doing it I thought to myself, Mom, are you seeing this?
It was fun to pass this jewelry out to ladies who for the most part had no shoes. Will they ever wear it somewhere fancy? No, never. But maybe each time they put it on they themselves feel a little fancier.
Attached are a few pics of Mom and Dad, all taken awhile ago.
I wish I could talk to Mom, just one more time, I still have things to tell her.