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Granted, there are many exceptions to my story, not everyone experiences what I have, luckily. While living in the states I always had a nice vehicle that I kept spotlessly clean inside (not out.) I’m not a girl who has to have a brand new expensive car every other year, to me it’s a waste of money. Especially since I wanted to build a house on a Caribbean island, cars were of much lesser importance to me.

I moved to my rock in Nov of 2012 for 4 months, alone, with my cat. It was not a move that my husband encouraged or really liked; however, he did come with me to help me get settled and to find a car. We met a guy through a friend who said he would help me find a car. It just so happened he had his wife’s car for sale. A nice clean antique (1994) Toyota Camry named Scarlet, for her color. Of course, he wanted way too much for the car so we looked at a few other options. One was a total rust bucket, running boards were almost rusted off, the seats were torn and stained, the body was a mess and they wanted 5K for it. All the other cars available at that time were way over my price limit, all except Scarlet. My husband was only here with me for a week and he wanted me to have a car before he left, so we bought Scarlet. YAY, I had wheels.

My husband went back to his normal life in the US and Scarlet and I started exploring the island. She was a good car except she was very finicky about the roads I drove on. She sat unusually low and the tumulos  (speed bumps) were bound and determine to ruin the exhaust. She ran well for the 4 months I drove her. When my time here was done (March 2013) and my husband said he was coming to get me and take me home we left Scarlet with the guy I bought her from. He was going to do some suspension repair while I was back in the states.

Flash forward to October of 2013. We had sold our house and were moving to the island, finally. It was a long time coming. My friend who had my car met us at the airport and took me to get my car. We stuffed her full of luggage and went to our rental.

Next thing you know, it’s December 2014. We started actively looking for a replacement for Scarlet. After 2 years with her, the name Scarlet had nothing to do with her color but more to do with The Scarlet Letter. She was a tramp of a car. The suspension repair that was done was either never really done or done so poorly for too much $$$ that it’s like it never happened. The guy who had my car is a big man and he broke the drivers side door handle off. That made it a challenge to even get in. The radio doesn’t work, the windows don’t go down, the key fob doesn’t work and I can’t unlock it w/ the key, (Bill can,) the hood needs a stick to prop it open, the trunk leaks and the key falls out of the ignition as you’re driving down the road. She has had 2 blown head gaskets repaired and several hundred $$’s spent fixing the suspension, the fuel leak, the window, that doesn’t work again, the wipers which quit working and a variety of other things. In other words Scarlet is a P.O.S, but she runs great. I had a flat tire when Yvonne was with me, Scarlet overheated while I was alone at Serrano’s, an hour away from home, she blew head gasket #1  just as Cleo and I pulled in to the West Bay mall, head gasket #2 when I pulled into the bank, alone again, but closer to home. Tramp car. The last thing you ever want to do is open the hood of your car if you are a woman and are alone. You will have EVERY backyard mechanic in a 3 block radius assessing your car. They will want to add fluids, cross wires, get tools and just do other general things to your car that it doesn’t need. They ARE men after all.

You know how in the US you can go to a car dealer and find a nice used car, test drive it, look it over, be sure of the mileage and all that? Not so much here. Due to the condition of the roads here I wanted an AWD or a 4X4. I have beaches to lay on, places to go and people to meet. What I want is hard to find. Story of my life. Decent cars are hard to come by and they are way overpriced. Most of the cars here are US cars that were wrecked, salvaged, bought by someone in Honduras, fixed and sold on the mainland and the island. You can buy a brand spanking new car here or on the mainland but what are you going to do for your warranty work? Ship it back to the mainland at $150 + each way? A new car doesn’t make sense to me, however there are brand new trucks and I’ve seen at least 3 new Audi wagons at 60K each. Someone has waaayyy more $$ than me.

The first car we looked at was a Honda CRV that they wanted 10K for. It was worth maybe 7 and needed some work. We had our mechanic check it out and he agreed it wasn’t worth what they were asking. While at the mechanic’s Bill had it out for a test ride and I got Lola, but no car.

We contacted a guy on the island, Pascual, at Bay Island sales and rentals and asked him to look for a car for us. He had just gotten a Rav 4 to sell and his brother told us to come drive it knowing Pascual had gotten the car for someone else. We drove it, came back to the shop and the people who were promised the car were there, wondering WTH was going on. Rather than put Pascual in a bad spot, we deferred, although we would have purchased the car. Pascual felt bad and tried to find us another car on the mainland. He found an ’06 Mitsubishi Outlander in excellent condition with less than 100K miles on it. We gave him 4K cash as a deposit and he went to the mainland to get it.

By the time Pascual got to the dealership, they sold the car. Someone offered more $$. So sad, too bad. Pascual ended up bringing another Mitsubishi Outlander back to the island for us to look at. This is the one I talked about before that had 66K miles on it. Bill did an $8.00 VIN search and we found out it had 266K miles. No thanks!

Back to square 1. I was super bummed. Just this past week Pascual had another Outlander scoped out in San Pedro Sula, the murder capital of the world, on the mainland. We did another VIN check and the miles were correct, the damage was light. I was interested. He got a $500.00 deposit from us, sent it to the guy and left the next day for the mainland to drive the car. He said it was in great shape and he doubted we would find anything this nice for the $$ and in AWD. We transferred the FULL amount to his bank account on Wednesday, Thursday he bought the car, drove it to Ceiba and had it put on the cargo ship bound for Roatan Friday morning. Then I heard about the coming storm. Our friends took the ferry back from Ceiba Wed. afternoon and they said it was a nasty trip, the ferry was getting tossed around in the waves and it was to get worse by Friday, when my car was coming. Thursday night I watched the horizon on both the north and the south shores, checked the weather, found a site with the storm surges/ wave heights, I was stressing. I felt like the epitome of the saying, “If it weren’t for bad luck I would have no luck at all.” I had myself all worried that the cargo ship would sink, or get lost in the storm or that one of the BIG waves from the movie The Perfect Storm was going to come and only wipe one car off the deck of the boat. MINE. My thoughts were, did the cargo ship have insurance on what was on it? I mean, it was my car, paid for in full in CASH. If it disappeared, I was S.O.L.

I was so relieved to hear from Pascual on Friday, I heard Bill say, “and the car?” Pascual said it was at his lot and would be ready in an hour. YES.

This means I can drive up to Brass Hill to help with the sewing machines, I can drive down to the schools and I can drive myself to Mondays Don’t Suck at Camp Bay beach.

Unfortunately Bill’s Mazda diesel p/up just blew a head gasket and is in the shop awaiting repair so we have to hold on to Scarlet awhile longer. What is it with us and head gaskets???

Enough of the car drama! I’m so over it. Saturday we were to pick friends up at the airport. They live in NY and have a home here and were returning for 3 months. However the plane had issues and due to that they missed their connecting flight to Roatan. No other flights this week so they come next Saturday instead. We headed into town in the new car to run some errands. On the way to Serrano’s, my favorite store, we stopped and got some more movies. I bought Wild and Cake, Bill got this season of the Walking Dead. We ordered our movies, went to the hardware store and stopped back to get our movies that were being uploaded to our stick. Our friends pulled in while we were there so we got to see them for a bit too.

We stopped to talk to the mechanic about Bill’s truck. He and Bill were talking over by the truck and Bill called me to come over. Nelson had a baby goat in his arms. My first words were, “I am NOT taking that goat home.” OMG, cute much??

I had already planned to watch my movies, it was a gray, cool damp Saturday. Wild was first, it was a great movie, a different type of role for Reese Witherspoon.  I liked Cake better, Jennifer Aniston was excellent in this movie, my favorite out of all of the movies I’ve recently seen.

And then there is Lola. She is getting huge and is not a very friendly dog. When Highway was young he loved to lay on our laps and sleep, not this girl. You can’t hold her for more than 15 seconds before she starts crying and squirming to get down. She’s being raised by Highway and she only wants him.

I received an email from Amazon.com the other day. It said: We would like to thank you for being among our most active members. I do not think this is a good thing.

It’s Sunday morning, kitchen is cleaned up, laundry in and I am going to the grocery store to get some things to make for the beach party and another party tomorrow night.

I even see a bit of sunshine peeking out this  morning! Happy Sunday!

 

 

 

 

People think Roatan is a dangerous place to live and I say it’s not. When I read the US news I am dumbfounded by the rampant crime all over the US. People being kidnapped and killed because they responded to a Craigslist ad, school shootings, hostage situations, bomb threats, shootings at malls, colleges, hospitals and government buildings. Sure there is petty crime here but it is nothing compared to the crap going on in the US and the rest of the world. Living here we are surrounded by beauty everywhere we look, the locals are fabulous people and they treat us kindly, this really isn’t such a bad place after all.

There was a meeting on Thursday with the Mayor for all the ex-pats that live on the east side of the island. We are all what is known as “living in Santos Guardiolas.” There were people there that have lived here for 16+ years. See, it’s not that bad. The meeting was a good start, getting people together, and the Mayor asking for the ex-pats help in making this a great place to live. Bill and I are more than happy to help the mayor anyway we can.

Highway and Lola are a pair. So much so that he was trying to hump her tonight. Bill gently reminded him that “you don’t hump family.” Highway must have forgotten the golden rule.

I thought it would be a good idea to add another small bedroom downstairs. The living room was large and awkward. Bill and Miguel framed it out and had the walls up in no time. Bill finished all the drywall mudding and we are ready to re-paint the downstairs. We went to the Ace hardware store here on the island. What a joke. Previously we bought ALL of our paint there, it’s the Royal brand and it’s the best paint we have used. Now they have no paint. NO PAINT. I asked the manager for a phone number for the big store in La Ceiba and HE DIDN’T HAVE IT. Come on, seriously. I found the Ace Femosa (Hardware) store on Facebook, messaged them, found someone to speak English and now all I have to do is order and they will ship to me in a day. The store here may as well close their doors, they have no stock.

Sad news on the car front, my new to me car fell through. Pascual went to the mainland with our $$ in his hand and it had been sold. Someone offered more money and money talks. Double damn. Pascual brought another Outlander back for me to look at, 66,000 miles or so it said. The knobs were all worn and the seats were a mess.  When we got home Bill looked the VIN up online and it had 266,000 miles on it. Someone had decided to change that number a little. Actually, that made much more sense now thinking about how worn the controls were. Newer car for me failure # 3.

They are once again fixing the roads around here. It is a yearly job that could easily be done quarterly. I’ve included some of the photos of how they mark the road showing there is a huge axle breaking hole ahead. These are great, and remember, this is a 2 lane road.

Little Miss Lolita is a handful. We are still having problems with her peeing where ever she pleases. Not only does she just squat, she keeps moving when she’s peeing, making a long line of drips after the initial puddle. The other day when she peed on the porch, I said “Lola, who did this?” She ran and hid behind Highway. I’m so screwed.

Our friends Rosalie and Bob came over last week for Bill’s home made pizza. We had a great visit with them. They are from British Columbia, up on the Sunshine Coast. Rosalie and Bob have traveled a LOT and she wrote a book called, “Now THAT Wasn’t in the Brochure.”   (click on the title and it will take you to the book on Amazon) All of my reader friends, get this book and read it, it’s a fabulous adventure story. I stopped reading with about 15 pages to go because I didn’t want it to end.  I reluctantly finished the book and now I am RE-READING IT. I’m halfway through already. Great read.

As if the scorpions aren’t bad enough; last Friday night I had Lola out to pee again. I had the big spot light with me because it was dark. I was watching for scorpions and snakes and assorted other creepy crawlies. Just about the time I turned around, holding the spot light in my hand, I saw something FLYING RIGHT TOWARDS MY HEAD. OMG. It landed on my face and sat there.

It was a RHINOCEROS BEETLE. I DIED. Then I screamed, loud. I managed to;

a) not pass out

b) knock the f*%$@r off my face and stomped it’s brains out it’s ass.

c) wake my husband from a nap. I don’t think he believed me.

From now on I’ll be making a few additions to my night time “taking Lola out to pee” gig. A pair of knee high boots, a spotlight, which I will never aim towards a Rhinoceros beetle in flight, and a black flashlight to make the scorpions a little psychedelic. Oh yeah, and one other fashion accessory that my husband inadvertently thought he bought for himself:

Cleo and I did the airport thing for 5 solid hours last Saturday. It was fun but extremely tiring standing for that long. They had me out greeting people as they entered the immigration building. Hi, welcome to Roatan, is this your first time here?? I was passing out immigration forms to the people when I recognized a Facebook friend that I had not met, Sherri.  She and her husband are house sitting Stef and Jurgen’s home right now, very close to us. I also met lots of people I’ve never seen before and may never see again, answered questions, gave suggestions, it was fun and I look forward to doing it again. I just hope that the people coming here for the first time had a more positive first impression of the island and of the people here. Once I got home, I passed out. My back was killing me and I even had on my Fit Flops, next time it’s flat Havaianas for this greeter.

Sherri and Brian had a get together at their house on Tuesday afternoon. It was a nice day but there was a cool breeze, some of the ladies were freezing. My friend Jeanie was there and she was cold. My Wonder Woman friend Nidia went down in the yard, picked some lemon grass, tied it up in a ball and boiled it in water, making Lemon Grass tea. It smelled excellent. At one point Jeanie had tea in one hand and wine in the other. Nidia is an amazing lady. She is the force behind Because We Care, the group that we worked with over Christmas. So many awesome women on this island.

The rest are just some random shots. Today is Friday and it’s cloudy and cool, just the opposite of yesterday, which was beautiful. We have to go pay our taxes and then run some errands and grab some food for the weekend.

Bill is finishing his drywall mess downstairs, Lola and Highway are playing their constant game of BITE ME and poor Luck is wishing they would all just go away.

Have a great weekend everyone and those of you still living in the frigid USA, keep warm. Summer is only a few months away, unlike here, where summer lasts all year…

01/21/2015 Trace made it back home safely. He messaged me on Monday before he was heading into work. I know he’s an adult, but I still worried about him driving home from Seattle is a long & lonely drive at 1 AM. Always a mother. Always a worrier.

Trace and I hooked up with Sam Arch one afternoon to go snorkeling with the lobsters. Sherman Arch, Sam’s father is a well known islander, very respected by many people. Sherman and his 2 sons and his brother and his sons protect the marine park in French Cay. It’s a thankless job because of the people who knowingly try to poach the lobster and conch on a regular basis. The same people have no regard for the fragility of the reef, it’s sad. We had Bill drop us off at 2 and we met Sam down on the dock.

Our day with Sam was pretty fabulous. Trace really enjoyed meeting him and we realized later on that Sam and Trace share the same birthday. Small world.

We decided to go to Cal’s that evening for dinner. It’s our local, right down the road, best food on the island type of place. We ran into friends (always do there) and they came over after their meal and had a drink with us.

Because the weather was so unpredictable and wet we were kind of at a loss for fun things to do with Trace. I knew for certain and sure that I wanted to take him to La Sirena, my favorite end of the world bar and restaurant. We called Miguel to see if he wanted to go with us since he has a lot of relatives in Camp Bay. Miguel’s brother was visiting from the mainland so he came along too. His brother Winston went to college on a track and field scholarship and is the top discus thrower in Central America, winning the gold medal for Honduras. He has graduated from school and will be starting a job at a college on the mainland. Since Miguel and Winston are super tall (tall, like they won’t fit in the back seat without putting their legs out the windows) they were riding in the bed of the truck. Trace decided to ride back there with them.

Going to La Sirena is one of my favorite things to do. The ex-pats have Mondays Don’t Suck beach days on the beach that is right before you get to La Sirena. We plan to start going to them too, really looking forward to a nice beach Monday!

For our last full day with Trace we decided to go to Big French Cay (Key.) It is right across from Little French Key where I used to go but don’t go much anymore. I’m not into their lackadaisical priorities protecting the reef. However if you are coming to visit me, I will take you there as promised, but I will have said “chip on shoulder.” I am really passionate about the reef, it is the most gorgeous living thing I have ever laid eyes on and it amazes me to the depths of my soul. I can snorkel for over an hour non stop. I may be totally exhausted when I’m done but I was so enthralled with what I saw, it doesn’t matter. That is why I must get back into diving. I freaking LOVE being underwater.

We got to BFK at 10, they don’t open until 11. Bummer. We ran errands and went home, hung out for awhile, watched the storms over the water and decided the hell with it and left for the beach. Once at their dock a boat took us over to the Key. It was very nice and clean there, no snorkeling close by which was a bummer, but the same as Little French Key, the reef is not super close and the water is shallow, making it difficult to access. We had some drinks and lunch there and laid around on the chairs for awhile. it was nice until the music started. Then it was awful. Little French Key was blasting music. If that wasn’t bad enough, Big French Key starts with the music too. Here we were on the beach, stuck between 2 different music sources playing loud music at the same time. It was hateful to say the least. The epic Battle of the Beach music is guaranteed to drive away customers by the droves. Ridiculous on both of their parts. I don’t know about you but I like the sound of the waves gently lapping on the shore, the birds in the trees and just the general peaceful quietness of the beach. It’s a ZEN kind of place and blaring bass music F’s that all up.

Trace is home, he’s back to work. Wish he were still here. When Sharon came to visit she brought a mouse toy for Emmy. It squeeks if it’s jostled or touched. Emmy hated it so I gave it to Trace for Chupa. He messaged me this last night: Ok. So that squeek toy you gave me doesn’t need to be squeezed to squeek. I realized this in the Houston airport. It sounded like a damn bird was in my bag. TSA gave it some odd looks. Whatever. I got something out of my bag lid at Matts and then headed home. The whole way up it sounded like a bunch of birds were in the car. Eventually I had to stop and wrap it in a towel because I was losing my mind. I gave it to Chupa. She overlooked it until she accidentally kicked it and it let out a bunch of chirps. She popped way up in the air landing half in a cardboard box dumping the contents everywhere and took off. She is now scared shitless of it and will not even go remotely close to it. Evil squeek toy. I was pretty hysterical reading that! Guess I didn’t mention the squeeks all the time part.

If everything goes as planned I will have new to me wheels on Friday. Goodbye to Scarlett. No tears will be shed. A car guy, Pascual, found a 2006 Mitsubishi Outlander on the mainland in excellent shape. It is the same car I had in the US and one of my most loved vehicles ever. Mine was green and a 2003. It had 12 miles on it when I bought it and I put an additional 103000 miles on it and never replaced a thing except a set of tires. It was the best running car I’ve ever owned. Trace bought it from me and drives it daily. To say I am super stoked would be an understatement. It’s AWD so I can go anywhere!

Saturday I am going to be an airport greeter for 4 hours. Saturdays are a crazy day at the Roatan airport, 5 flights come in and leave in 4 hours. I can’t even begin to describe the insanity of it all. I’m hoping this Saturday will give me enough “food for thought” to do a special post about the experience. This should be fun, I’m looking forward to it!

Nidia, the fabulous lady who started Because We Care asked me if I would help teach the ladies on Brass Hill how to sew. They just got a solar powered sewing machine. The hope is that they can learn to sew, make things to sell and contribute to their families. This is a very very poor area, there is no water, no power, and no septic. The people live in homes made of any variety of building materials they can find. This is one of the places we delivered food and toys to for Christmas, most of the children do not have shoes and do not go to school. Their futures are bleak. Anything that can be done to help them earn money on their own is a positive step in the right direction. I’m very excited about helping out with this project. They also have the school drive coming up where they donate school books, paper, pencils, markers and other essentials to the schools; next is the TOM’s shoe drive.

Bill and I want to be involved with Nidia’s group as much as we can because at the very center of everything she does is love. She does all of this FROM HER HEART, no ulterior motives at all. The only thing in it for her is the fact that she has helped all of these people. She also owns and operates her own business in downtown Coxen Hole. She really is one helluva woman.

The rest are random photos from the last week.

Even though Trace just left I’m already planning things to do when he comes again. I’m hoping that maybe he and Chance could come together, that would be awesome to have them both here. Then maybe I could kidnap them (is it still kidnap if they are your kids to begin with?) and not ever let them leave. It would be so much fun.  Chance and Trace, you are missed very much..every minute of every day.

P.S. I took Lola down to go potty tonight (totally useless thing for me to do because she pees ONLY when she gets back up on the porch) and she scampered off the lower porch to the yard. Something caught my eye and I turned around to see a big 3″ scorpion climbing up the wall onto the porch. I yelled for Bill then I ACTUALLY cornered the shitting thing until Bill came down and killed it. It took 2 good stomps. Call me Jungle Girl.

 

 

 

01/18/2015 How can a week have flown by? I can’t believe Trace is on his way home, so not fair that days are too short and pass by so quickly. Especially when you are with your kids. We are so freaking sad.

We had a great week with Trace, despite the miserably sucky ugly but still warm rainy season weather that was stalled over the island for much of the week. The day Trace arrived we had a full blown rain from hell storm, winds howling, raining sideways, all the dogs in the house. Not much you can do about it but stay inside and stay dry.

On Sunday we decided to hit West Bay beach for some snorkeling; we took Lola the Terrible with us. Big mistake. We were almost there when she puked all over me while I was holding her. I was covered in semi solid puppy vomit. Extra nice. I carried her all the way down the beach and Bill puppy sat while Trace and I snorkeled. She was not liking the beach except for the fact she could dig to Africa while there. I tried to take Lola out on the raft like I did Highway when he was a pup but she was having none of that shit. Man,  she can squirm. This excursion was my first time putting the new camera underwater and I was so nervous. I checked 16,391 times to make sure all the doors were double locked. The water was not very clear due to the crazy storm we had the night before but the pics came out pretty good anyhow.

We went home after we left the beach and got cleaned up and went to Parrot Tree Palapa for lunch. It was a semi nice afternoon but the food was not as good as it usually is, not encouraging at all. After we ate we went over to the pool and hung out for a while. It was more crowded than normal, meaning it’s usually DEAD.

On Monday Bill, Trace and I ran some errands in the morning, then Trace, Cleo and I went to Coxen Hole to get some movies. I took a stick and got 16 movies put on it for the price of 8 (about $24.00.) I got Mockingjay part 1, The Imitation Game, Big Eyes, Gone Girl, And So it Goes, some for Trace, and the Hobbit and a few others for Bill. What a deal and the quality is excellent. I loved Gone Girl!!

The weather was ugly so we headed to the Iguana Farm another morning. There were lots of iguanas but most were up in the trees because of the rain; except for the ones that were closing in on me. Sam said they thought my camera strap was a banana so they were after it. I hid it very quickly.

Aaah, yes, the rain. We got stuck in a heavy downpour while there, it rained buckets.

I introduced Trace to our friend Sam Arch while at the iguana farm. He said he would take us snorkeling whenever we want to go. Something to look forward to since the marine life is great in French Cay.

We decided to chance it and go to Havana Beach Club on Wednesday, despite the fact it was a cruise ship day. We were surprised when we got there because there was nobody else there. We had Lola & Highway, I know, crazy is as crazy does.

Highway was beyond exuberant, he was downright obnoxious. He loves the water, Lola, her majesty, doesn’t.

Trace and I walked out to the tip of the island and saw lots of cool stuff.

Then we realized that the horses SHIT ALL OVER THE BEACH RIGHT ALONG THE WATER LINE. It wasn’t just one pile but a line of horse shit. Once the owner saw it he flipped out and got it cleaned up immediately, which we appreciated, however, by then it had ruined our idyllic afternoon.

We had planned to take Trace to the cow and calf snorkeling earlier in the week but the weather wasn’t that great sucked. The one day I lined up a boat but the weather turned nasty in an hours time and there was no way Jordan could come all the way from Helene to get us. The sea was rough and it poured, again. Such is the rainy season.

Here it is Sunday evening, Trace is in Houston on his way home. I was so depressed on our drive home from the airport, well, we both  were. Time spent with the boys is so meaningful to us, I keep trying to remind myself that I was lucky that I got to see him for 8 days and need to stop whining about him being gone already. I miss my boys so much it hurts.

I followed the Seahawk game online and via Chance on Facebook and I can’t believe they pulled it out. Trace messaged me from Houston and said: They were down 11 with 3:30 to play when I landed. I ran through the terminal and got to the TV just in time to watch them win in OT. I lost my shit and everyone was hugging. Quite the moment!

A parting shot, indicative of my life with this girl.

 

I’m going to post the last week with Trace in two blogs, way too much typing for my brain to do. Part 2 to follow soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

01/09/2015  A new year, another birthday. Thank you to everyone who took the time to wish me a Happy Birthday, I felt the love.

This boring post will have to hold you over until Trace has gone home, he comes this Saturday and leaves the 18th. We are beside ourselves with excitement AND also really excited for Highway to see him. Highway adores Trace. When my ankle got broken Trace walked him and Dooce for me every day when he got home from work. Highway could hear Trace’s car before it even got near our house.. He is going to go ballistic, I just hope he doesn’t have a coronary, he is a little hyper to begin with.

And Lola, holy shit man, this dog is something else. Forget the fact that she is only 8 weeks old, she is one crazy little girl. She has no fear of anything, she does not want held, she runs up and down all of the steps, yesterday I found her sitting on the ROOF. She is bound and determined to do it her way. Trying to hold on to her is like attempting to wrangle a hippopotamus for a suppository. The Queen of Squirm. She is attached to Highway, everywhere he goes, she does. Sometimes she is hanging from his jowls, literally, you can see his skin stretched. I stop her, take her away from him, tell her no and she turns around and jumps right back on him.

This past week has been spent cleaning the downstairs before Trace comes. Well, cleaning and watching a puppy. The puppy is like a full time job and then some, especially when she wakes you at 2:30 AM howling her little head off. This has only happened once since the first night from hell when we brought her home. It was just the other night and we determined that she was hungry. We fed her and she went back to sleep. Now we feed her at 8 PM to lessen the chances that she gets hungry in the middle of the night. She is relentless with poor Highway though, I really do feel sorry for him. His patience is unlimited, I never knew he had it in him. Life certainly has come full circle. He grew up doing these exact same things to Dooce and she very gently took his abuse. Now Dooce is gone and he is in her position, he is the one being bitten and nipped at constantly.

When they do chill, she is always right next to him.

There is the rare occurence when she decides to get close to Lucky and he’s all like, “what is this shit, get it away from me, NOW.”

We went to Chuck and Nancy’s on Sunday afternoon so Bill could look at their washer and attempt to run a test to determine what the problem is but it wouldn’t run the test, back to square 1. While there Nancy made some margaritas. Neither Bill or I had eaten all day and the drinks hit us like a wrecking ball to the middle of the forehead. Holy crap, haven’t been that drunk for a very long time and I will never be that drunk again. I have sworn never to touch tequila for the rest of my time on earth. It’s just plain evil shit. We got home around 6 and had dogs to feed and had to find food for us. Not me, nope, I went to the bedroom, laid down and passed out for 5 hours. I think Bill fed the dogs. I never ate, I was too drunk. I even slept in the clothes I wore to Nancy’s, that’s how freaking pitiful I was.

Both of us felt like tremendous piles of crap on Monday morning and I had a massage scheduled at 10 AM. I made a big breakfast to help expel all the tequila toxins that were swirling deliriously in my Italian blood. I really wanted to crawl back in bed but I drug myself to French Cay and made it to see Susie on time. She gave me one heck of a massage. It hurt like hell and I knew it would. I like pain, I will pay for it. That’s why I had a broken ankle surgically repaired and a knee replacement in 5 short months. Glutton. I have been having neck issues and snorkeling around the cow last Sunday did not help that issue. I was ready for the pain of the massage, each time she said take a deep breath, hold it, let it out slowly, I knew I was in for an ass kicking. Susie is a little thing but holy crap, she gives a massage like a 300# man would. She obviously knows what she is doing and I knew I wouldn’t be better after 1 visit, I mean, she’s not magic. If only she were.

One of the (many) infuriating things about island life is that many times we’ll go to the grocery store and they have NOTHING. Not a decent red or green pepper, no lettuce, the broccoli is so bad I doubt pigs would even eat it. It’s like black rubber, so gross. No jalapenos, no papayas or pineapples, no cheese, no juice, no bread, no ice cream. NO VODKA. WTH???You think I would be used to this after living here but it still pisses me off.  It’s a pain in the ass to keep going back to see if they got their stuff in yet. Usually fresh stuff comes MWF, I was there on a M and a W and nada. All you people living stateside, be greatful your grocery store ALWAYS has the food you want.

We have both been going on the morning dog walks. Before Bill was taking all 3, Lola not on a leash, but she spent so much time snarling and snapping and pulling on the boys leashes he wouldn’t take her anymore. We bought her a camo harness and leash (she’ll probably chew through it soon.) Bill handles the boys and I wrangle the wild one. She nips at their ankles walking down the hill. Several times on the walks Highway has peed on her head. she doesn’t learn.

Junior and Alexi have been working on John’s generator and hanging out here in between working. They were standing in our driveway talking and I suggested they cut down the tree in the middle of the driveway. I mean seriously, with my history of things appearing out of nowhere behind me and being hit by my car because they were in my  car’s way, why would you have a tree in the driveway?

Here in the jungle, we have vultures, lots of them. The other day was a gorgeously windy day and they were riding the thermals in the valley, there were over 12 of them at one time. For some reason they liked perching on this pole and actually had a few fights over who got pole top. Interesting and very ugly birds of prey.

This afternoon we were on the deck in the sun with the dogs when Highway and Luck started their don’t make me come down there and kill you barking. I got up to look and there were 3 guys and a kid coming up the driveway with 3 dogs. Our dogs, Lola included, were in a frenzy. As they walked by the house I noticed the kid was carrying a Watusa or Agouti by the tail, it had its head whacked off. Obviously their dinner. UGH!

I apologize for the sheer boredom of this blog, you can’t have excitement every day of the week, or can you? Well, I guess you can living down here but if you’re trying to get things done at home you miss out on all some of the fun.

Bill just came up from outside, he was scorpion hunting with a black light. They glow if you shine it on them. I bet all of you will be clamoring for your turn to come to Roatan to go on Scorpion hunts with Bill at night.

I’ll be back after the 18th with a new and improved camera for above ground and underwater photos, hopefully I will have lots of fun things to blather on about!

And remember, tequila is evil shit. Stay away.

 

12/30/2014 My name is Deb. I’m an addict. I crave PUPPY BREATH, I can’t get enough of it. On Tuesday we met a guy who has a car I am was interested in buying at our mechanic’s. We were to meet Monday but he (the guy with the car) was busy. We met him @ 9 and he and Bill took the Honda CRV out for a test drive, I waited at the mechanic’s. There was a puppy that kept running out from under a car in his shop. I tried to get the pup to come to me but it wouldn’t. Her mother was chained to the wheel of a car, that’s where they lived. Nelson (the mechanic) grabbed the puppy for me. He told me the momma dog bites everyone, that’s why she was chained. He handed the pup to me and she nuzzled into my neck and started licking me; she was perfectly content in my arms. I was totally mesmerized by her puppy breath, I couldn’t tear myself away. It’s an irrestible charm that pups have, once they breathe on you, you’re smitten. I made the comment, “OMG, she is so cute, I could just take her home.” Nelson said, “Lady (his name for me) if you want her you can have her. She doesn’t like most people and she likes you. I know you’ll take good care of her.” Now remember, Bill was out driving the car. He came back and I was holding the puppy, still. He wanted me to drive the car so I passed the puppy off to him, taking a quick inhale of her puppy breath to hold me over as I crawled into the car. I drove the car, it was nice but they want too much for it. But the puppy, she was free and she was adorable. I told Bill that Nelson said we could have her and he asked Nelson if he was serious. Nelson said the same thing about he knows we would take care of her and voilà, we had a puppy. Nelson had already named her Lolita, I can’t take credit for the name, however we have shortened it to Lola. Lola rolls off the tongue easier when you are screaming, DAMMIT LOLA you peed for the 93rd time today on the FLOOR!! DAMMIT LOLA DO NOT SHIT THERE! Lolita doesn’t flow as well.

Due to an instant craving of puppy breath, our lives have changed. Tuesday night was sheer hell. We tried her in a small dog crate on the porch with the boys. She howled for 2 hours and 33 minutes. We brought her in to our bathroom in the crate, she howled. We let her out of the crate and blocked her in the bathroom. She howled. We BROUGHT Highway into the blocked off bathroom area and he was pissed. She howled. That didn’t last long, he went back to the porch. We were up ALL night with the howling yet mesmerizing puppy breathed dog from hell. I kept thinking what have we done. If only my addiction wasn’t so strong. I need detox.

Wednesday we hung out around here and tried to get ticks and fleas off of PB (puppy breath), there were more than normal for a young pup. Her Momma must be infested. We had plans Christmas eve, all planned before Lola arrived. At 5 on Christmas eve we left for a party on John and Susie’s boat with Craig and Cleo .

Their boat is docked in French Cay. It was a great party, excellent food, they cooked a huge ham that was delicious, lots of drinks and fabulous dessert made by Maddie, the daughter of my island knee doc (from the US.) It was a nice night on the water, we sat on the top deck of the boat and talked and ate and drank. We didn’t stay too long which was fine, we had a puppy in a crate on the porch at home. When we came up the road we could hear her HOWLING!

The second night we put Lola on the back porch with the boys, not in a cage, just chilling with the guys. She was fine until morning. Highway totally digs her 85% of the time but Lucky, not so much. He is not thrilled, he does the damn Elvis lip thing all the time when she comes near. We have been giving Luck, AKA El Gordo, lots of love. He’s feeling a little third wheelish.

Highway, he is smitten. She is a sinister spirit with him. They raise hell together. He flips her body with his snout and she lands on her back and jumps up and attacks him. She hangs from his jowls and she SPINS and totally pinches him. WHO THE HELL TAUGHT HER THAT? SHE IS 8 WEEKS OLD. She is a wild one, OMG. I have a teenager already and it’s a freaking girl. Please no girls, I’m afraid they’ll be like me. (shudder) But she is ours, she pees everywhere and yet her breath is perfect, can’t get enough.

It’s very funny  to see Highway like this. He has always been such a wild child. When we took him to the states from Roatan he was 3 months old. He hung on poor Dooce’s face, he bit her ankles, he laid on her head and he bit her tail. All these things are reversed now. He is having them done to him instead of him being the aggressor, he is the attackee. She is the aggressor. Role reversal, she may end up Alpha dog.

Christmas Day we went to Bob and Rosalie’s house with Dave, Trish, Michael and Tasha for Christmas dinner. Bob and Rosalie are from the Vancouver BC area and live on the rock 6 months out of the year. They live in a fab location in Sandy Bay.

We had a big turkey dinner at their house and Tasha made dessert, marble cake and Key Lime pie, holy cow, can that girl bake!! Great food, awesome company. We would have liked to stay longer, but with a 30 minute drive ahead of us, we had to leave because of Lola. Puppy hood is not for people who are never home. It’s a commitment. A damn freaking big one. I’m puppy whipped already, I admit it Jeanie!

Friday we were planning to go to Camp Bay with Chuck and Nancy but Lola changed that. We didn’t want to leave her alone for so long and didn’t think she would make the trip well plus she was flea infested. We decided it was best to stay home. We did a tick and flea find and destroy mission, she had so many ticks on her it was crazy. We removed over 20 ticks from her ears alone and they were huge suckers, like a small raisin. She was a mess and she missed her momma.

Tasha was leaving to go back to Toronto the next day, so Trish and Dave and Tasha and Mike came out late afternoon. Tasha really wanted to meet Lola. Bill made a couple pizzas on the grill for dinner and the kids got their fill of our animal kingdom!

On Saturday Bill and I went to visit Chuck and Nancy.  We got to enjoy a late lunch with them, Nancy made a fabulous chicken and eggplant parmigiana. We got to see the first part of the renovation of their social building, it’s going to be a great space!

We stayed for a few hours and then came home to the menagerie. They only live a short distance from us so it’s a quick trip home.

Sunday was our big day, a first for us, the Radical Catamaran day trip. This was planned over a month ago and I was really needing a water fix. Craig and Cleo were nice enough to come up several times while we were gone and check on Miss Lola. They love dogs and cats and if Lola didn’t have fleas Craig probably would have stolen her.

We met the other boaters and the Free Radical at 9 AM at the Save center dock in Oak Ridge. This is not your average boat, this is an amazing day on the water. This is a 5 ***** excursion. Click here for info on the Radical Catamaran. All the drinks, incredible food and desserts you want. Fantastic staff to wait on you, take your dirty dishes, bring you drinks. Just fabulous. They do an ex-pat special and if you live on the island you can get the reduced rate and bring family members or friends that may be visiting. There was a full boat of people, some we knew, some we didn’t. We set off for the eastern part of the island, stopping at the Cow and the Calf to snorkel. Bill wasn’t sure he wanted to go in so I got ready and jumped in alone to snorkel. I swam over to the rock and started around the one end. I saw fantastic coral, fish and the biggest star fish I have ever laid eyes on.

After heading east around the far side of the island I was swimming into the current and thought maybe it wasn’t a good idea to go all the way around alone. What if the boat thought I drowned so they left? I turned around to go back and that’s when I saw the starfish and the Angelfish. Bonus! As I was heading back a guy from the boat in a wetsuit came up to me and asked if I wanted to snorkel around the cow, I said sure, figuring they wouldn’t leave without him! He dove down and got a spiny starfish and told me to hold it so he could take a pic but the pic sucked, so I have a pic of him holding it. It was crawling on my hand and felt really weird.

It was a fabulous day on the water despite the fact my neck was killing me. I think it was from the way I held my head looking at stuff while snorkeling. This is nothing new, my neck has hurt for a long time, this only made it worse. We were whooped when we got home but still had a puppy to take care of.

We ran some errands Monday and took her with us. She seemed to enjoy looking out the window, Bill held her while I ran in for groceries and just as we left the parking lot she puked. Luckily I got her on the car mat, easy to hose off. We were worried about her, she had the butt squirts and then she puked. With no vet on the island for a week I called my niece who is a vet and she gave me some options. Then I got in touch with our friend Kathy who knows a lot about animals. She and her husband were coming to town Tuesday so they stopped and she wormed Lola and gave her some tick and flea stuff and some Immodium to control her squirts. She is still peeing a lot but we can’t deny her water if she has the squirts because she may get dehydrated. After a second dose of Immodium today her squirts are turning into more of a formed poop so she is getting better, We are pretty sure it’s a change of diet thing because she sure doesn’t seem sick at all.

She has been doing OK at night on the porch with the boys. Every now and then we’ll hear a sharp reprimanding bark or a snarl but for the most part it’s quiet. This is a clip of Highway and Lola playing on the back porch. They do this outside too and he runs her in circles, rolls her, picks her up off the ground while holding on to the other end of whatever she has in her mouth, he mouths her WHOLE neck and she nips his heels and his neck and ears and lips. True love if I ever saw it.

Tonight is New Year’s eve and like the many NY Eve’s before this one, we are staying home. There is a big party in Calabash and another at Parrot Tree but honestly, when you are awake at 4 AM, 9 PM seems very late. For all of you celebrating tonight stay safe and have a happy prosperous healthy New Year. 2015, bring it on!

P.S. The movie THE INTERVIEW, that was pulled from opening in the US is being shown down here. I saw the ad on Facebook. Only in Honduras!

WE GOT THE CRAZY MOVIE THAT WAS TAKEN OFF THE MARKET BY SONY AND NOW IS SHOWING THIS FRIDAY AND SATURDAY

THE INTERVIEW (Rated R)
at MOVIE NIGHT! FRIDAY & SATURDAY at The Pineapple Grill at Clarion Suites Roatan at Pineapple Villas/

 

Sit down, relax, grab a glass of wine or a beer, this is going to be a long one. It’s been a busy week and I have a lot to say!

We are fast approaching Christmas Day, I can’t believe another year is drawing to a close. This is my 3rd Christmas on the rock, the first one I was alone and Bill and I will celebrate # 2 this year. Let me say this, it’s different. There are some decorations in the stores, some homes have lots of lights, friends have big decorated trees but it’s not like in the states. I don’t know if it’s the lack of commercialism or the lack of money but Christmas on this rock is just not the same, and that’s not a bad thing. Here on the island it’s more about the reason for the season. That being said I miss my boys and my parents and all of our family back in the states. I can’t even think about the boys and not get weepy, so many memories, I wish we could be together! Love you Chance and Trace.

Scarlett is STILL in the shop. Our mechanic is unable to get the part from the mainland so we ordered it on Amazon and Trace will bring it down. Until then I will drive the damn car with a leaking wheel cylinder, all it does is make my rear wheel lock up, no biggie. Once the part is put in and the window is fixed we are done with her. She will be sold to the highest bidder. (like there will be more than one)  We already have her replacement in mind and our mechanic will look it over for us tomorrow. Keep body parts crossed, I need reliable wheels.

Sunday was a nice sunny day and we spent it quite leisurely with Nancy and Chuck at Parrot Tree. We met at the Palapa at noon and ate lunch.

Afterwards we walked up to the pool. Nancy and I sat on the edge and talked and Bill and Chuck laid on a bed chatting.

Bill has been hard at work on some storage and a window seat for our bedroom. I do not want my clothes in drawers, normally I would want them hidden due to the visual you get with the clothes out, but not here. It’s insane to have drawers because everything smells old and musty and damp ALL THE FREAKING TIME. AND, the drawers swell up and stick. I reek of Febreeze and/or DEET constantly. Air circulates nicely around this unit. He is making some cool ventilated doors for the bottom and then I will store some containers under there. Ventilation is the name of the game on the rock. That and polyurethane. I plan to poly everything in my house. Everything may be a slight exaggeration but not much. If it stands still, poly. It wards off MOLD.

This is not the final arrangement of the clothes. I need baskets that match.

We just got the wood for the shelves in the kitchen and it is really wet. It will take a while to get dry enough to use. Nice dried lumber is only a dream here.

Thursday was the kids Christmas party at Fiddler’s Bight. The gifts that were wrapped last Friday at BJ’s were for these kids. We met friends at the bar at 12:30 and were picked up by Franklin in his boat and taken to the Bight.

We hung out at the bight (bay) waiting for the festivities to begin. While waiting for Santa they told the Christmas story in Spanish while a little girl translated to English. She was so sweet. There was a big Santa pinata and the kids patiently lined up to get their whacks in. The ferocity with which some of them swung the stick was kind of scary!

Shortly after all the candy was scavenged off the ground, Santa arrived, by boat, of course.

Santa sat down on his chair and all the kids gathered round and took turns sitting on his lap.

After that the kids lined up by age and gender and we handed out handmade bags with wrapped gifts in them. Once they got a bag we put an X on their hands to keep it fair. The kids were really cute and most were very polite. When that was all done there was food for the kids and parents so we left and headed back to BJ’s to get our car.

Friday morning we had to get up and get moving. We were helping with Roatan Because we Care or BWC and needed to arrive by 8. We couldn’t do our lazy morning starts, where we eat and read the news online,  I have tea, he has coffee, mosey around, walk the dogs, not this morning. Our friend Cleo went along with us, we were out the door by 7:20 to get to the bodega on the west side of Coxen Hole. This was started 16 years ago by an amazing woman named Nidia Webster. She is an island gal who had a vision to give the poor a Christmas. I don’t know at what point Abraham Bodor joined forces with Nidia. They are a dynamic duo. [The two of them also do TOMS shoe drives (read about TOM’s here ) all over the island, giving new shoes to kids who may have NO shoes.] Over the years BWC has grown so much that people plan their VACATION to be here so they can help out. A guy from Canada and his wife (they played Mr. and Mrs. Claus) and another couple shipped a few hundred beautiful knit dolls and balls for the kids. They were made by church ladies, simply amazing. These 4 came over Christmas to help with BWC. There was a family of 5 from Kelowna BC that were on vacation also. It’s really fantastic to see all the people who care and want to be involved. When it was time to start loading we made a chain and packed the 250 bags that were being delivered that day into the vehicles.

So so sad that so many children have to live like this.

We told Abraham if they needed help on Monday we were available but we couldn’t help Saturday, we had plans. We spent Saturday afternoon in Sandy Bay with our friends Trish and Dave. Bob and Rosalie came over also. (We were with them and Trish and Dave’s kids on Thursday.) We had a nice afternoon sitting out on the deck with a stunning view of the north shore. You can see forever, really beautiful and I took no photos. Lame.

We were going to go to a gringo ex-pat beach party out at Camp Bay if we weren’t going to deliver food again, however they messaged us saying we were needed. The party sounds like a good one, they take games, chairs, BBQ’s and probably {a little} beer and spend the day on the beach. Next time we’ll make it out there for sure!

Despite the 3 hour nap I took with Emmy yesterday, I was tired and dreaded the thought that I had to move early again in the morning. This time BWC will be delivering to the east of our house, should be another fun day making kids smile. For these kids, something so little and insignificant can mean so much.

We left the house at 7:20  headed for the bodega. As soon as we got there we loaded our truck with 35 bags and made an early morning run to Corozal. They tried to deliver food to this group Saturday but the neighborhood representative didn’t have the list, so no food.

Second stop was very close to Franco Flats outside of Coxen Hole.

After that we headed to Crawfish Rock. I’ve heard of this place but never been there, and now I know why. It’s a long bumpy drive down. If I could show you the places we have been on a map you wouldn’t believe it. Part of the excitement for me was getting to see where all these places are.

Next stop for the day was near Oak Ridge, actually it may have been Lucy Point. There were a LOT of kids and adults waiting for Santa and for their bags of food. Same rules, they must say Gracias or Thank You. Take note of all the SMALL CHILDREN AND BABIES. Do they not understand what it is they’re doing that causes them to have so many kids?

The next visit for us was Pandy Town. I thought there were a lot of people at the last stop, but Pandy Town was craaazy!

BWC was going out to Punta Gorda after this stop but we had to leave, someone was coming to our house so we had to get home.

So, yeah, it’s been a busy week but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Seeing these children and their families really puts things into perspective. Most people in the US are so busy acquiring “stuff” that they don’t even realize what they have. These people have nothing but they keep on going. They keep on trying to make a life, be it what it may. They know nothing of the lives of excess that so many other people live.

We have so much and we need so little.

Merry Christmas to all our friends and families. Sending much love to everyone.

 

 

12/13/14  Today will be the last time until 1/2/34 that there will be a date with sequential numbers.

Not a whole lot of shaking going on down here. My car is still in the shop. It spends more time there than it does in my driveway. Unfortunately the previous owner of my car thinks he is a mechanic and did some work on Scarlett and we have done nothing but fix his mistakes. Recently, I spent quite a bit of money and 3 weeks downtime getting the bushings replaced in my rear end. Well, not MY rear end but Scarlett’s. Bill knew they were bad and we hoped that would quiet some of the noise from the trunk. It didn’t. They then fixed an exhaust leak. Still noisy. Now they found the shock that was replaced a year ago was put in wrong. The drivers side window on my car no longer works. Bill tore it apart to try and fix it but it’s not fixable. We have ordered the switch to repair it and Trace will bring it down when he comes.  This is what the inside of a car door looks like if you ever were curious and I did drive my car a few times like this until I couldn’t get the door opened from the INSIDE. Lucky for me (and Bill) that I was home when that happened. He has that issue fixed also, another prior mechanic screw up.

Last Friday we went to Susan’s house for a late lunch with Chuck and Nancy and Susan and her friend Kate. We ate at the table on the deck and afterwards we sat around the table talking. All of a sudden there was a crack and a whoosh from under the deck. It was LOUD, like a crack of lightning. First thought was that the cistern blew a hole but when we went down under the deck and were assaulted by the smell we knew it was the septic pipe that had broken. Holy shit. Literally. It was fixed before we left.

On Saturday we went to Liz’s so Bill could follow up on her dryer repair. I got lots of plant cuttings from her while we were there. It’s so easy to start things on the island and this is the perfect time of year to plant. As soon as we got home Craig came out and asked us if we could go down to near Coco View as Cleo had been in an accident. Craig has been really sick with a bronchial virus so we jumped back in the truck and headed down. When you have a narrow winding 2 lane road with a pot hole big enough for a baby hippo covering one lane of the road, hello. Accident producer. The accident is the fault of the municipality. Seriously, it is. They don’t fix the damn potholes on this island correctly so they keep re-appearing. Luckily Cleos’ crash was minor. The truck in front of her stopped to proceed slowly over a huge pothole and she stopped in time but the roads were wet and slick and she skidded into the back of his truck. No injuries, minimal damage but a huge pain in the ass. They had to wait for the Transit Police to come investigate. This took over 1 hour. One hour in which there were 3 cars (hers, the other guy and our truck) blocking one whole lane on the only road on the island. When the police (sic) finally came they measured all kinds of goofy shit and I’m pretty sure they did this only because they had a fancy tape measure. Then they gave Cleo a form to  fill out and they took her drivers license. When the cops were done she asked for her license back and they said they would give it to her at the hearing on Monday. WTH? They kept the license? I’ve never heard of such a thing. She took an island friend with her on Monday and did the court thing, paid $30.00 (her fine) got her license back and that was it.  Only in Honduras.

The lack of sunshine the past few weeks has forced me to cook more than usual, which means I might have prepared a meal or two. The other morning I made dog biscuits and scrambled my weekly amount of eggs and made brown rice for my every morning breakfast tortilla wrap. I also made a big pot of carrot soup. I forgot how much I love that stuff and how easy it is to make. The carrots they have down here are big and ugly and so damn sweet that you would be crazy to buy the prepared baby carrots in a bag.  Bill is the dog food chef and made a big batch for them too. He browns ground beef in coconut oil, adds rice, green beans, garlic and carrots and cooks it for awhile. We then mix that with a cup of Kirkland brand dry dog food and it disappears from their bowls in a matter of minutes. Not a speck left. It’s crazy that we can buy Kirkland (Costco) stuff down here. It’s ridiculously expensive but it’s the stuff with the least amount of crap in it and now the boys won’t eat anything else. Between their fancy schmancy meals, their home made dog biscuits and their breakfast of yogurt, these boys are well fed. Lucky, or El Gordo is proof that they eat well, they both eat the same amount and are the same size but Luck is gaining weight and Highway is still skinny, of course he is 3 years younger too. And hyper.

On Wednesday Cleo and Craig came over b/c Stef and Brian  were stopping by to introduce us to Brian. He will be house sitting Stef and Jurgens’ home while they are in Germany. She wanted him to meet the others in the “Hood” since he will be here for the next 6 months and he will be the man that controls the water when our cistern is low and we need some water pumped from the well. We had a nice visit with them, Stef told us some more of the things they experienced on the island in the last 15 years. Some stories you don’t believe because they are so crazy, but, they are all true. You can’t make this shit up. Right Lin Coyle?

Thursday Cleo and I went shopping for Christmas gifts for the kids in Oak Ridge. There is an area that is extremely poor and the local ex-pats get lots of gifts and wrap them to give to the kids when Santa comes. I spent a lot more than I planned on but it’s for a good cause. When I stop and think about the Christmas mornings our kids had compared to these children, how can you not buy things for them?

Friday was the gift wrap day @ BJ’s. Cleo and I were pulling out of our driveway and noticed this going on. A Honduran had somehow flipped a big SUV on the curve. We went up to see if everyone was OK and were told someone was still in the car. I called Stef and asked her to call the police. She managed to get the Bomberos and an ambulance dispatched. Then they told us there wasn’t anyone in the truck.

We left and headed to BJ’s. This is the hang out in Oak Ridge that is on the water and the expats have a band called the Banditos who play every Friday afternoon.

We got there around noon and started wrapping.

My friend Keri from Snohomish Wa. and her husband are down here so I got to meet Doug and hang out with Keri. She is the one who got me interested in the Pastafarians. They live right on the water and she has a resident octopus hanging by her steps. This is what he looks like when he’s going to church. His species is a Pastafarian Octofarian.

Once the gifts were all wrapped and put in the handmade bags we hung out and played a crazy Christmas game that Marilyn made. She taped small green Christmas tree cutouts all around the outdoor bar, inside the bar, in the bathrooms, everywhere.

Each of the 20 trees had a clue. We were given a sheet with 20 lines to put the answers. Goal was to find all 20 clues and decipher the answers. Below are the clues and the answers, these are not exactly the same but pretty close. It was lots of fun but we couldn’t find a few of the clues and we didn’t win!!

Quadruped with crimson proboscis —Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer

5 p.m. to 6 a.m. without noise — Silent Night

Miniscule hamlet in the far east — O Little Town of Bethlehem

Ancient benevolent despot — Good King Wenceslas (or some believe in Jolly Old St. Nicholas)

Adorn the vestibule —Deck the Halls

Exuberance directed to the planet — Joy to the World

Listen, aerial spirits harmonizing — Hark the Herald Angels Sing

Monarchial trio — We Three Kings

Yonder in the haystack — Away in a Manger

Assemble, everyone who believes — Come All Ye Faithful

Hallowed post meridian — O Holy Night

Fantasies of a colorless December 25^th — I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas

Tin tintinnabulums — Silver Bells

A dozen 24-hour Yule periods — The Twelve Days of Christmas

Befell during the transparent bewitching hour — It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

Homo sapien of crystallized vapor — Frosty the Snowman

I merely desire a pair of incisors — All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth

I spied my maternal parent osculating a fat man in red — I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus

Perambulating through a December solstice fantasy — Walking Through a Winter Wonderland

Aloft on the acme of the abode — Up on the Rooftop

We got home around 3 and hung out waiting to go to Stef’s going away party at Cal’s. I am still having coughing fits, coughing that will not stop. Last night was one of those nights. We got to Cal’s around 5:30, starving. The place was packed, which means it would take over 45 minutes to get food, I was hacking my lungs up like a person who has smoked all of their lives (I quit in 1973, when I was 3 years old) so we turned around and came home and ate dinner. Bummed that we didn’t make it to dinner but who wants to sit with someone who sounds like they should live in an iron lung?

After dinner Bill sat down to watch some TV and I took my laptop in the bedroom and watched a movie on Amazon Prime. Exciting Friday night at our house!

Just a few more pics and I’m outta here.

One of the customs down here is setting off fire crackers ALL THE FREAKING TIME between Halloween and Groundhog day. The other night the church sermon was going on, they were really into it and quite loud, pianos, singing, Hallejuah! BOOM, a fire cracker would go off. Hallejuah, BOOM, another fire cracker. It was almost like a punctuation point after Hallejuah, BOOM.

Thanks Craig for the visual. They are going off again, about every 30 seconds. What is the joy or excitement over a damn BOOM???

I would like to take those damn firecrackers and put them somewhere special. Real special.

Happy rest of the weekend!

 

 

12/5/2014 After a few weeks of wild and crazy weather, torrential rains, leaking windows, overflowing cisterns and Thanksgiving dinner, add to all of that losing the most amazing dog ever to grace our home, I’m ready for a do over. It’s been pretty sucky in Paradise. I previously wrote a post describing in detail what happened from the day we realized Dooce was sick until the moment she died. It was morose, morbid and grueling in detail. It was cathartic, for me. I will keep it close to my heart but not post it. Let me just say that Bill and I lost the dog of our dreams. Dooce was an amazing animal, strong, obedient, gentle and nurturing. She raised Highway from the time he was 3 months old, she loved him with all of her heart, despite the fact that he bit her ankles and hung from her neck with his teeth. He snarled, growled, snapped, bit, howled and whined at her. She accepted it, she loved him. My heart hurts for Highway, for what he lost. He adored her. RIP Dooce, you’ll never be replaced.

We miss her so much every day, it’s a void that won’t be filled for a long time. On to more pleasant things. It may not be official, (yet) but I am positive I have won the title of THE DIRTIEST WINDOWS, SCREENS AND WINDOW TRACKS IN THE CARIBBEAN. What an honor! I didn’t get a crown yet but I think I will soon. I mean. What a freaking distinction!! I am humbled. And repulsed and disgusted. Yvonne, you warned me. You were right, it’s never ending and it’s thankless!!

How many times are you expected to clean your windows? Weekly? I DID NOT sign up for that. In Washington I did them 2 times a year. That’s all. Living in a veritable PARADISE there is no such thing as a damn clean window. I surrender. They are dirty BUT I can still see out of them so we’re good. On Sunday we were supposed to go to Nancy and Chuck’s with Susan and her friend and some others for fondue. Neither Bill nor I were in a socializing frame of mind, having buried Dooce in the morning so we didn’t go. Turns out Nancy was under the weather also, we rescheduled. Bill has half the shelf unit done in the bedroom and is working on the other side. On Wednesday he had Craig help him carry part of the shelf unit for the bedroom upstairs. I was so excited to put stuff on it and clean up the closet! Once I cleaned up the whole cake baking mess I dumped the big basket of my underwear (why do I have almost 30 pair of undies) on the bed and started going through it and there were THOUSANDS of ANTS, on my bed and in my underwear. ANTS IN MY PANTS. That’s why there were ants in the closet! I threw the ant covered undies in the sink and washed the ants off, screaming the whole time for Bill. Then I took the whole basket of underwear and threw it in the washer in HOT water. OMG, so many ants on my bed! We have been having a problem with ants in the whole house recently so we have declared war. We put Terro ant poison all over the counters and this is what happened.

One night of thousands of ants and now hardly any. That shit works. It’s been a blustery week or two. We were pummeled by a storm over Thanksgiving and it was nasty outside. The waves on the north shore were quite large for Roatan waves, at least Lucky is having fun surfing.

The days before Thanksgiving our power was flickering but I attributed it to the wind and the approaching storm. Flickering to the point it was almost like a light show back in the 70’s. {When I was only 7.} Turns out it was just 4 homes with the power problem and RECO came and fixed it. We had 23″ of rain in November. That is a LOT of rain. On Nov. 27th this was posted on a Roatan FB page: SOS. Help needed immediatly at Sundancer in Sandy Bay as a boat load of Cubans(12-15) just came ashore and are wet,weak and cold. They are in desperate need of dry clothes and towels, food and water. Abraham is out on the beach helping them and needs these items. Immigrations has been called but busy with cruise ships. Please grab anything that you can and head over to Sundancer dock ASAP. Some may need transport to hospital. Will keep you updated as the info comes in. These poor people arrived in the midst of our Norther. The big ferry boat between here and the mainland wasn’t running that day due to the weather but this boat managed to make it.

They all were given a place to stay and the people on the west end of the island gathered food and clothing for them. One of the big restaurants had some turkeys left over from Thanksgiving which they donated. I read that their papers were processed already but I don’t know if any will remain here or if their desire is still to reach the USA. Fabulous response by the people here on the island. We didn’t have power on turkey Thursday so Thanksgiving was postponed. The power came on late in the day and went off again Thursday night from around 8 until 10 the next morning. 14 hours, no power. Once RECO came for the 2nd time in 24 hours power was restored and our bird was stuffed and in the oven. John and Craig and Cleo came for Thanksgiving dinner. We had a great meal, lots of good food and friends to share it with. Only thing missing was our boys and families. After dinner we watched Planes Trains and Automobiles, a perfect turkey day movie. Saturday until Wednesday are being passed over. Dooce was buried Sunday morning with Miguel and Craig and Cleo with us. It’s great to have friends that care, somehow it helps to share the pain. Monday and Tuesday we sat and stared at the walls, depressed, pissed and hurting. Wednesday my car was done.  Three weeks. We took Emmy to the vet for her shots in the morning and then picked up Scarlett.  Emmy was loose in my car on the way home and was rather insistent on standing on my lap and looking out my window. I mean, there is a back window and a front and 3 other empty available windows to look out: but she wants mine. It was raining buckets and I kept trying to get her to move but that didn’t work very well. After one drive home I was not happy with my car, I think it still makes too much noise and rattles. Now we think it’s the shock. It goes back in the shop tomorrow. I got to drive it home from the garage and will drive it back tomorrow, that’s all I’ve driven it for 3 weeks.  So, no car again. She is such a slut. (the car) Thursday Susan and her friend Kate picked me up to go to Nancy’s for an ART day. Jeanie and Maggie were there and Nancy and the 3 of us. We had snacks on the porch and then went to the art studio. I worked on some scrapbook stuff, Susan did a painting of her cat, Jeanie did several awesome drawings and Maggie was drawing Pelicans. It was a great day. After several hours in the art studio we went downstairs for some of Nancy’s KILLER margarita’s and more snacks. I had 1 drink and OMG! It was a fun afternoon with fun women!

We ran in to town one day looking for some DVD’s but they didn’t have Gone Girl yet. We’re going to start getting them on a memory stick instead of actual DVD’s, third world country or not!

I just volunteered to be a greeter at the Roatan airport on their busy days. The last time I flew back here I was greeted by scowling faces at immigration. Out of the 4 people there the only smiling face was Daine Etches. I realized what an impact that had on people coming here, especially for the first time. When Cleo told me about this opportunity, I was on it! I think it will be a lot of fun, I’m excited! I was looking for something the other day and came across this hair clip. These things aren’t easy to find here. Since 99.99% of the time I have my hair in one of these or an elastic hair band, I covet them. As soon as I saw it, I grabbed it and STUCK IT ON THE SIDE OF MY HEAD. I mentally told myself that I needed to remember to remove it before we went to the store. Well, guess what, I forgot. Yes, I went to the grocery store and the pharmacy with this big black clip randomly stuck on the side of my head, my hair was in a ponytail. The clip was NOWHERE near the ponytail. I was not alone in the store, Bill was with me but not once did he say, “What the hell is that thing on the side of your head?” He DIDN’T MENTION IT. Why the hell not? I normally don’t go out with a big hair clip stuck randomly on the side of my head. Thankfully, I’m on the rock and I doubt anyone thought anything about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone noticed me and thought it was a new cool fashion trend and they will all start wearing ginormous clips in random spots on their head. I’ve started a fashion trend. I’m kind of fun like that.