Psycho babble

11/16/2014   I had the pleasure of riding with my buddy Jurgen a week ago Friday. He drives the bus for the Cattleya school, which is a school for physically and mentally challenged children. The regular schools on the island can barely educate a child with normal needs let alone one with special needs. Once all the students were picked up he dropped them off at their school in French Cay. I spent the afternoon at the school with their sweet teacher Erica. There were 7 kids and 2 of them were the younger siblings of the special needs students and only were there for something to do. The one little girl was a huge helper with her older sister. These kids are awesome, I fell in love. They are so happy to be there and to have things to do. My only issue is the huge handicap I HAVE. I don’t speak Spanish and I really need to work on that ASAP if I want to be a part of this. I planned to go back this past week but Scarlett (my wretched poor white trash car) is in the shop AGAIN. This time it’s her rear end. Hopefully next week.

I learned another new lesson this week, fresh coconut is not always the best thing to bake with. I mean FRESH, cut from the coconut that fell off the tree and shredded finely. I planned to take some coconut macaroons to Chuck and Nancy’s for a get together on Sunday. Yeah, well, not going to happen. I did not drain or bake the coconut and that was stupid on my part. I should have GOOGLED, “How to bake with fresh coconut” first. I did not. I got the cookies made and in the oven and all the coconut milk cooked out and all over the pans and it turned into a congealed mess. I needed a machete to get the freaking things off the pan. They were not cooked but were a gooey expensive mess (full of almonds) that I threw in the garbage and vowed never to make them again, especially NOT with fresh coconut.

The coconut thing kind of pissed me off so I went to Parrot Tree pool to while away the afternoon. I was the only person there until the silence was broken by a screaming child. I don’t mean crying, I mean full on screaming because her damn flip flop came off while she was sitting by the side of the pool. It didn’t piss me off that she was crying, what did piss me off is that the 2 older girls with her ignored her and just LET HER SCREAM. Annoying. Finally they put her damn shoe on her. I noticed as they were entering one of the condos that they left their trash floating in the pool. First a screaming child, then litterers. I got back in the pool and got their cups and water bottles out and threw them in the trash cans. Man, I hate people who expect others to clean up after them. It seems to be the mentality around this island and it infuriates me. Every day I see people throw shit out of their car, RECO (electric company) trucks, cabbies, tourist vans, you name it, just toss it. Someone else will pick it up for you. PMO, BT. (piss me off, big time!)

After 4 hours at the pool I decided to go home and think of something else to bake. On the way I swung by Walter’s to say hello. He and QuiQay were there, Walter was making stew and QuiQay was cleaning out the fridge. I sat and chatted with them for a bit and Walter invited us to dinner that evening. I came home, showered and made a salad and dressing for the meal at Walter’s. We got there around 6 and were surprised to see 2 other vehicles there. I hoped I had enough salad! Nancy and Chuck were there and Myrt and his wife Edith. We had a great dinner and sat around the table talking for quite awhile. Myrt and Edith were telling us some stories about the crocodiles on the island. Edith was pretty hysterical to listen to and their stories are right out of the “you can’t make this shit up” book. All in all, a very fun evening.

Sunday morning I decided to bake apple nut bread so Bill ran to the store for me to get what I was lacking for the recipe. It turned out yummy so I took a few slices down to John while it was still warm. At 4:00 we rode over to Chuck and Nancy’s with Craig and Cleo and a plate of apple nut bread. Nancy was making her killer Margaritas and Pina Coladas and had a variety of yummy snack items for us. We sat out on their deck overlooking Milton Bight and talked for several hours.

Have I mentioned that I stopped drinking alcoholic beverages? Contrary to popular belief, I never drank that much. I am too much of a control freak and I don’t like not remembering the night before. (Yes, I have experienced those things in a previous life and once at Parrot Tree pool recently.)  I usually only have one vodka per night, on a rare occasion I would have 2 and never finish the second. If I’m drinking wine, I drink more. This, I believe, is because it’s easy. Just pour, or in the case of me being lucky and having some Bandit, just sip out of the carton. Anyhow, the night Stef and Jurgen came for dinner was the last I drank and that was 10/30. It doesn’t bother me not to drink and I like that. I have been chugging copious amounts of water though, which is not a bad thing. Despite the fact Walter had wine for me and I love Nancy’s Margaritas, I stuck with water. I don’t plan to never drink again, just not nightly.

Since it is the rainy season it has been kind of cool, like in the upper 70’s. Don’t laugh and make fun of me. If you are used to 88 degree days and then have the temp drop 15 degrees, it’s cold. We went to the store to get stuff to make a crock pot of chicken stew, some French onion soup and I wanted to bake pumpkin muffins with cream cheese icing. I actually put on a pair of capris and a cotton sweater. By the time we got out of the grocery store the sun was out and it was hot. So much for chilly soup weather. We made the onion soup and the pot of stew anyhow and I was back in a sleeveless dress in a heartbeat.

The baking bug has bitten me in the ass recently. When my boys were young I baked all the time. I was skinny then, it didn’t matter. Then I stopped baking because if I bake it, I eat it. Not a good thing. The other day I decided to bake an old favorite, a recipe Cathy Hurvitz gave me years ago, pumpkin bread. I made cupcakes instead and also made a from scratch cream cheese frosting. I’ve since gained 7.5#’s in each butt cheek. But, OMG, they are yummy.

I drug some of my scrapbooking stuff upstairs the other day. I’m not sure why but I ended up making a few things; however I no longer have the overwhelming desire to do it. I think it’s possibly the lack of available supplies here and if I use what I have, I won’t have any more. It is the reason there is still one box of Bandit still in the pantry. If I drink it I won’t have any more. I know, it’s a mental issue thingie. Just another to add to the sordid list that are my brain malfunctions.

We took the boy dogs to the vets for their shots. The Doc was not there yet so we had to wait for quite awhile. Lucky of course, was polite and well mannered. Then there was Highway who is such a blundering idiot that I am embarrassed he is mine. See the little red spot under his eye? He gets these pustule sores every now and then and we have to put him on Cephalexin for 5 days and they go away. This is also something that the vets in the US couldn’t figure out, even after we spent $5000.00. So he gets sores, he gets meds and they go away. Most expensive pot licker dog in the universe, and he’s mine. Yippee shit. Lucky has been chewing his paw and he has a sore there. The vet gave me a scrip for a spray for it. That one is healing but now he has one on his butt. I’m not sure if they are hot spots or what. I’ll keep treating this one too and if it’s not better he goes back to the vet on Wed. We have to go anyhow because Dooce and Emmy need their shots too. Three dogs and a cat is too much for one trip. It took 2 people to hold Lucky on the table for his shots and his heart worm test. I could barely contain Highway who couldn’t understand why Luck was on the table getting attention and he was on the floor. He had already had his shots but he kept trying to get back on the table with Luck. I had to take him outside.

I took half a dozen cupcakes to the vet too. Kevin, the one assistant wasn’t there so it was just Bethany and Dr. Calderone who got the treats. She said they were “finger licking.” I need to do that more often because I really appreciate the fact that he comes over here weekly to doctor our animals. He’s a great guy! Kevin, his assistant is trying to raise the money to attend veterinary school on the mainland. It will cost him around $6000.00 a year for room and board, he also has a partial scholarship. He is from Roatan and his family does not have the means to send him to school. The Roatan Humane Society is trying to help him as much as possible. His dream is to come back to the island and be a full time vet and it is so needed. Kevin has a heart of gold and will do an excellent job, here’s hoping he can raise the money!

I have been allowing Emmy to get into the routine of jumping out the window in the morning and exploring the porch. That is until the other day when I forgot she was out there. When I went to look in her normal spot, she wasn’t there. Luck and Dooce were on the porch but Highway wasn’t. That meant one thing, Emmy was where he was. Sure enough she was down in the grass laying and he was jumping, like the fool that he is, around her. The look on her face was kill me now. Or better yet, KILL THIS IDIOT. I don’t want her down there because she can get out through the gate and she would take off and in no time at all be Vulture food. Plus, she doesn’t have fleas or ticks or bugs and she sleeps with me, I would kind of like to keep her pest free. Now she is not allowed out and she is pissed. I could put a collar on her and leash her out but the last time I did that (in the early 70’s) friends came to our second floor apartment and asked why my cat was hanging from her neck off the porch. Well, I guess it’s because she jumped. No leash for Emmy.

On Thursday I went to another lunch at Cal’s, the restaurant that is right down the road from us. I thought it was going to be a small affair, half a dozen women, but it wasn’t. There were at least 15 women there, too many to have a conversation with. I had eaten a few pumpkin cupcakes in the morning and by the time I got there, I wasn’t hungry in the least. I wasn’t going to eat anything but decided on a salad so I didn’t sit there with nothing to eat while everyone else was eating. I did get to chat with a few people I don’t get to see often, so that made me happy!

On Friday I banished the dogs from ever setting foot in the house again (this lasted about 36 hours) and I cleaned the huge amounts of dog hair from the shelves, floor, upholstered couch that it sticks to like glue, OMG, it was everywhere. Add to that the filthy screens and windows and this place was a pig sty. I busted my butt cleaning and once again, hurt my back. I hurt it enough that at 4 PM I went to bed with my laptop and stayed there the remainder of the night. I didn’t even get up to eat anything. (Lie, I ate another cupcake) AND, I missed the damn safety meeting about proper safety head wear. I can just imagine my punishment for this infraction. This is the email I received due to my non-appearance.

Following are the minutes from yesterday’s safety meeting.

Yesterday Jeanie and Roger came over for brunch. We decided to eat dinner early because they have a long drive back to their house in Camp Bay. Bill once again made his semi famous pizza on the grill and I made a salad. While at the ladies lunch the other day Jeanie, Annie and I were talking about sewing and I said I had one needle left for my machine and that Susan was going to bring me some when she comes down. Jeanie shows up with needles, chocolate and this cute metal sandals wall hanging.

Jeanie knew I hadn’t been drinking but she informed me I would have a glass of wine with her, and I did. In fact, I had 2 glasses, 1/4 full each so not really even a full glass. We had a super time hanging out with them. I sure am happy we met Jeanie in 2012 while we were planking at Camp Bay. It was destiny.

One last “you can’t make this shit up picture” and I’m going to go fold laundry. I know, the excitement of it all. Going home the other day we followed this truck. It had a huge box that was tied with a rope in the lower 1/20th of the box. Like it would stop it from toppling out of the back of the truck.

I’ll leave you with this cuteness. Emmy was laying alongside of me on the bed, kneading. She did it for about 10 minutes, but in this clip, if you turn your sound up, you can hear her purring really loud! She still loves me.