Misfits and Mayhem

pirate202/06/2016 The front of the house is finally fenced in; however  the fence was not yet concreted to the cinder block base and we are still waiting on the metal sliding gate to be finished. Bill made a temporary fence gate to keep the dogs in. The other day the pups were outside running around playing and next thing I hear is Bill yelling, “the pups got out!” They pushed the fence away at the bottom where it wasn’t finished and escaped like greased pigs. Luckily they ran down through the woods and not down towards the main road. Alexi went chasing after them and I ran down the driveway (well, fast walked, I can’t really run) and they were all running back up to me. Highway was the only one who didn’t escape, well, he and Frito, who was inside. Bill finished the fence the next day so they can no longer escape through the bottom. That was a little excitement that I didn’t need, I would freak if anything happened to any of them.

Brett and Carmen rode with me to Mondays Don’t Suck. I’m so glad they came because it was an awesome day on the beach. We had a huge group of people enjoying MDS. The Duchess of Camp Bay’s friend (and my friend) Skip arrived on Saturday and was there for the day along with so many other people, some I didn’t even know. We played volleyball, swam and floated AND we did a conga line on the beach. I think it was going on 5 PM by the time I got home. I was exhausted from all the fun.

079

Game 1, Carmen displaying her perfect form. I too played a round of volleyball but, for some damn reason, I couldn’t stand still, I had to dance. There was music playing and it was dancing music..Once I start I have a hard time stopping. Dancing that is, not playing volleyball. While looking at this photo, please imagine that I have the same ultra perfect form that Carmen does. I’m sure I do. Really.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Cute beach dog who may now belong to the Duchess.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Carmen displaying her 2 favorite beach things, wine and a Bengals cup..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Francie showing off her technique..she’s our sexy player..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

So many people and so many different levels of being upright. What a group!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Skip was really excited for Mondays Don’t Suck!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Volleyball is hard work..so is partying all the time!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

View of our beach area..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Roger looking for some good Conga Line music.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

A small gathering of misfits

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The Duchess

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The Duchess and Skip

So many fun people, it was an awesomely amazeballs day.

There are 2 videos of the conga line..I was going to post one of them but then decided that nobody really wants or needs to see my boobs almost popping out of my suit. So, you’re welcome, I saved you from the retina burner. Skip, thanks for the TIME and People magazines w/ Bowie on them. Prized possessions..I still owe you a drink or 3.

Tuesday I went to Mega Paca to get some bedding stuff for Doña Maria. We are planning to go see her on Sunday, weather permitting. I got her a few nice things then went to the store and got her some staples like coffee and shampoo and conditioner. The group from Live Again Ministries are on the island and paid her a visit last week, they are building a bench for her. More on that in the next blog..On the way home from shopping I stopped at the Stihl chain saw place to  get a new wiper and ended up sitting there pulling ticks off their puppies eye and out of her ears. {I bought some worm medicine and stopped the next day to worm her.}

I came home and did some laundry and was sitting here at the computer reading something when I heard a loud rumble. I thought it was a severe wind gust. Then the whole damn house shuddered, TWICE. The dogs freaked out, Barrio cried, and it was over. Earthquake!! At first they said it was 4.7 and upgraded to 4.9. It was so weird to hear the rumble, thinking it’s something else but then realizing just what the hell it was. No injuries or damage reported on the island. I have a big art piece that needs realigned, but that’s it.

I don’t work at the airports on Wednesday, but I was there. I went to meet a new friend who is active in animal rescue and was coming to the island for vacation. She brought along a donation of many collars and leashes for the upcoming vet clinic and I offered to meet her at the airport to get them. Thank you Brenda, I know they will be appreciated! I also got to meet Carmen’s parents who arrived the same day. I spent most of the afternoon Wednesday trying to decide on a costume for the Pirate party. I’m not much for costumes but having gone to the party last year and seeing the way people were dressed, I had to give it a shot. I tried on so many damn black dresses, red bra on top of tank tops (looked like a poor hooker), swimsuit cover-up (fat), skirts, back to dresses, started feeling like a nitwit and thought maybe I should just go to the party and not worry about a costume. I decided to make rum balls and have a drink instead.

Thursday morning I got up and all I could think about was a pirate wench costume. I somehow managed to go from pirate girl to wench overnight, funny how that shit happens. All of a sudden I had an epiphany. My boots, I still  had my boots. Never forget that a good pair of boots can make you into a slutty pirate in no time. These boots took me months to decide on, the boots that I may have bought 9 or 10 different pairs, only to return them all. The boots that I finally had to special order. It became a joke with my friends back in the states, especially Teri B who happened to be with me for many of the search, buy and return scenarios.

I’ll admit it. I used to have a very serious addiction. To black shoes and boots. Truth be told, moving to the island was the only way for me to escape the chains of my addiction and get on with my life. I only brought 2 pair of black boots and probably a dozen pair of black shoes, 10 pair which I have not worn since I’ve been here.

Anyhow, so I have these kick ass black knee-high, heeled boots. They’re not a spike heel so they can go dressy or slutty..I chose the latter. By 10AM I had my outfit chosen and I was feeling pretty good. Only issue was MY FEET. They thought they were dying in properly enclosed shoes, it’s been a few years since they have seen anything like boots. I sucked it up and pulled those suckers on, zipped them up, grabbed a Stronghold headband, my wine and wineglass and we were good to go. Oh yes, I also had on a pirate shirt and my tutu, of course. All slutty pirate wenches wear tutus.

For all of you curious souls, no Bill did not wear a costume, but he did go with me. Alexi, our helper was here and when he saw me he got this big shit eaten grin on his face and said, “you look cool.” I knew I did something right. We got to BJ’s around 10 to noon and were picked up by boat to get to the party. I believe we may have been the first guests to arrive. Francie was already a gorgeous slutty pirate wench but Franklin wasn’t in his Johnny Deppish clothes yet.

P2040138

Big Rock (If this looks familiar, it’s is the same place that we had spa day recently)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

flying that flag

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The fabulous slutty pirate hostess with the slutty pirate toenails and me.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Pirates pirates everywhere..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Alex and Joe, pirate banditos

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

We had parrots everywhere

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The outdoor kitchen/bar area..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The fabulous host Franklin with their new, adorable puppy, Rocky.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Francie eating some of the firecrackers I made..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Roger and Mike

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Skip and the Duchess Jeanie

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

2 slutty pirate wenches, Francie and Marilyn

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The sword that Kathy is wearing is real, and it is sharp.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

For some reason I thought it was a good idea for Brett to use the sword to slash up the neck of my t-shirt, while I was wearing it.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Yep, more piratey shirt for sure.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The divine pirate wench Kathy.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Kathy and Carmen

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Keri (from Snohomish WA), BJ and me

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I wore my tutu in the pool and the tag was still on it, $198.00

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Franklin and Bob

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Francie, Gail and I dancing. You can see the water droplets on my skirt. It did very well in the water. I would get out of the pool and shake like a dog and it would be almost dry. Thankfully no pics of the dog like shaking..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Carmen and I decided to grace everyone with a beautifully choreographed synchronized swimming special. Thank you Davey for capturing these moments on film.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

We are so good, our timing was spot on.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Keri and Gail, wenching it up. Gail is my dancing girl, she loves to dance as much as I do.

12647133_10153548374248318_6623269172240513909_n

Photo by Rosalie Dickson Boileau. Rosalie took this photo of her husband Bob (L) me and Joe.

Funny thing, at the semi end of the party they announced the winners for best costume and Bob won for the men and I won for the women. We each got a Pirate shot glass. Francie said I won b/c of my boots, Bob won b/c he had cute red lips..

This was seriously the best party I’ve been to since ever..the food was spectacular, as is the location, superb hosts and an amazing cast of fellow pirate friends..an epic pirate party!

12669556_1040716325993933_1289815722642409963_n

Rosalie posted this on FB the day after the party. It’s so perfect.

Brenda, who I met at the airport (collars and leashes) on Wed. messaged me Friday morning to see if I was going to BJ’s. I was debating because I didn’t have the energy. I knew that excuse would not cut it with Jeanie so I fed the dogs a late breakfast, showered and dressed for the day. I got to BJ’s a little after 1 and there were only a handful of people there but soon the place began to fill up. Francie and Franklin came so I ran to my car to call Bill to see if he was on his way. He made an enclosed bulletin board for Kat’s Rise Up Roatan center and he was going to help Franklin hang it.

12645172_515655785273920_3241999190790290240_n

This is the building where our Spanish classes were held, coincidentally, it’s right across the road from BJ’s parking lot..

I hung out at BJ’s, got involved (sort of) in a meeting with PIER (Partners In Education Roatan) and some friends, then went back to BJs. Brenda and her friends were  there, Jeanie, Roger and Skip had arrived, the place was packed. I got an order of fries, finished my wine and went home. Before I left I told Brenda about Cal’s Cantina. We were going there for dinner with Jeanie, Roger and Skip. We got to Cal’s around 5, a perfect time because there was already a table of friends, more came in, then another table, then Brenda and her friends, then our neighbor John came, before long, the place was crowded. We had a good meal, as always, and then came back here for Skip to meet Frito and we did sips of Damiana.

I woke this morning to a chilly cloudy rainy day. My mind went to the people coming in for vacation, on a dark, damp, cool dismal day. You know most of the people just left somewhere very cold and were hoping to arrive on a bright sunny island. Not happening. I didn’t realize just how bad the weather was until I got to the airport and heard it was closed due to a low ceiling. Avianca going to the mainland sat there, fully boarded for over 90 minutes waiting to take off. AA from Miami was late due to mechanical issues, United arrived first, after circling for 15 minutes. Soon after that 3 more planes landed, (one of which aborted their first landing here and went around again), at the same damn time almost. It was a long day but I did get a guy to sing to me and then he kissed me, all to get in the express lane..Some people will do anything…and I’m just the girl to make them.

TV tip, just watched Twinsters on Netflix, I really enjoyed it. True story about twins separated at birth who find each other 25 years later. Great story and the real twins are the stars..

It’s past my bedtime, stay tuned..I’m hoping we don’t get blown off this hilltop, it’s pretty damn windy out there.

P.S. I was going to post this blog this morning but I woke at 5 AM to no power. It just came back on around 4:30 this afternoon. Island wide outage, always happens when a Norther rolls in..

They found me

12339515_1252687478078388_7392454554921731248_o

01/25/2016 There she went just walking ‘cross the floor, singing do wah diddy diddy down diddy do

snappin’ her fingers and shufflin’ her feet, singin’ do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do

She looked good, LOOKED GOOD
she looked fine, LOOKED FINE
she looked good, she looked fine
and I nearly lost my mind
Before I knew it she was walkin’ next to me,
And then she was dead.
Squashed by Bill’s shoe. A big assed scorpion, upstairs, in the kitchen and we’ve never had them upstairs before. Not happy about this, I want scorpion barriers. Good news is the big ones don’t have as much venom as the little ones. So the natives say.
I didn’t take a photo of the squashed scorpion because I’m gross, but not that gross. The last time we found a big scorpion, it was the same scenario but it was in the rental house, not ours. The first one was bigger. After the first one met its demise, it laid dead on a paper towel on the kitchen table for 3 days before someone finally threw the damn thing out.

So began my week on the rock.

 Sunday morning we took the 3 boys to Parrot Tree for an early morning swim. They were so excited to be there! Not much makes me happier than seeing these 3 guys running and jumping in the water, chasing each other, over and under the beach chairs, up the steps and jumping off the wall. They were exhausted after 30 minutes.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Gringo is ready

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

They love the water

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

My otters

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

They climb on each other’s backs all the time. Bottom pup usually goes under..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

L to R, Gringo, Barrio and Maxillicious

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Barrio and Gringo

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

After their swim we ran to the grocery store. We saw another car flipped over. By the time Bill ran into the store to grab just a few things and we passed by again, the car was upright, ready to be driven home.

Monday I went to Mondays Don’t Suck with Gypsy Rosalie and Bob. There were only a handful of us there but my favorite Cookie Monster, Roger is back on the rock. We didn’t have the volleyball net so we just ate and drank. A few brave ones went in the water, it was a rough sea for sure.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Doesn’t matter what the weather is, being on the beach with friends is the best.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

AArrgghh matey!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Barbon Beach, Camp Bay

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Foamy surf

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

whip it, whip it good.. Kathy with her noodle..

I was invited to a spa day at Francie’s this past week. I met Jeanie at the top of the hill in Oak Ridge (her husband dropped her off). We met our badass girlfriend Marilyn at BJ’s at 9:30 and she took us by boat to Big Rock, Franklin and Francie’s utterly fabulous home. (click on Big Rock and check out this property, it is for rent and it’s top notch)

There were 3 ladies to do massages, mani’s and pedi’s. I passed on the massage due to still sore ribs and had a nice relaxing pedi. We had a great lunch, bowls of fruit and some adult beverages. Franklin came home from golfing and made us some specialty drinks with fresh grated nutmeg on top, oh my yummy!!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The pool at Big Rock.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Badass Marilyn getting her mani

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The outdoor kitchen at Big Rock, Francie and Jeanie

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The man of the hour, grating nutmeg for our Pussers Pain Killer drinks!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

This woman makes me do bad things. She looks all innocent and shit, but she is NOT…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Our drinks

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Another pool view

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Turquoise toes

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

A massage with a view..wish my ribs weren’t so sore, I would have loved this!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Their new baby Rocky. I was in love..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Francie’s slutty Pirate toes

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The view from the steps going down to the boat.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Darkness was descending upon us..

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Pudens bringing Marilyn’s boat around for us

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Big Rock

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I love this badass woman

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Big Rock sits up on the hill above the beach.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Through the mangroves and back to BJ’s

It was almost totally dark when I got home, a long day away from the babies..What a wonderful way to spend a day with friends. So lucky.

This island is divided into 2 parts, Roatan and Santos Guardiola. I am very thankful to say I live in Santos Guardiola. Each part has their own mayor, ours is Carson Dilbert and I know him well enough to always get a hug and a kiss every time I see him. He is a good man who is trying to do what is right. The mayor on the other end of the island is not quite an upstanding person. When the DEI came in here toting guns and closing businesses, he left the island. He was not here to stop them. Just recently he proposed a new tax plan that is discriminatory, ridiculous and illegal. He thought in his nonfunctioning brain that this was a smart way to get some new $$ for raises for many of the people who work at the municipal. The business people were up in arms over this, taxing foreign dive instructors and other ridiculous things.. Anyhow, my friends on the other end of the island decided to have a march against what he is doing. Ironically, as soon as he got wind of what was going to happen he supposedly rescinded the cruise ship tax and the raises. he thought the march was cancelled. Surprise.. we were still marching.

I got to the airport where the march began at 8 AM. My friend Daine was there and Nidia’s oldest son Franklin. I helped pass out t-shirts and by 9 AM we had passed out 500 of them (purchased with $$ Daine and Nidia raised) that said Roatan United on them.

At 9:15 we were off, the march had started.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Yes, I am aware that my boobs make the shirt look distorted..They said Roatan Unidos on the back.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Just the beginning, the banner asks what happened to the 500 million Lempira budget, where was it spent?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I took a pic of my sweet friend Ana taking a photo of me.

M Tejada

Coming into town, photo by M Tejada

Aaron

600 people strong, photo credit, Aaron Etches

Aaron (2)

In front of the municipal office, photo credit Aaron Etches

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

They were peering out their windows

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Our tax dollars hard at work paying the municipal employees.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Cops guarding the entrance, one of them was my friend Eduardo who hugged me and wanted to know when we were going snorkeling.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

People from all over the world who call this island home, along with people born and raised here attended this march. I walked with my friends, Ana, Daine, Eric and Carly, Milesse and Nidia. Ana, Daine and Nidia are Honduran.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I was proud to be a part of this. Do these new taxes directly affect us, not directly, more like a trickle effect, but they affect my friends and their businesses and the tourism dollars that this island depends on to support the economy. Our infastucture is in need of a major overhaul yet the Mayor is spending money on Municipal restaurants, an invisible hardware store, a farm on a neighboring island and quartz crystals that will generate electricity. If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. This is a poor country, money needs to be spent intelligently.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

My gorgeous friend Nidia in the middle with the head wrap on. I love this lady!!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

This says it all.

Of course, the illustrious Mayor was nowhere to be seen. His minions took to Facebook afterwards and claimed we were all disgruntled people with a political agenda and not business owners. Bullshit. There were MANY business owners there.

I left downtown Coxen Hole at 11:15, buzzed by the house, Bill gave me a cup of ice water and my books for Spanish class and I drove like the local taxis do so I could get to class on time. It had rained a little while we were marching so I was semi wet, semi sweaty and really needed wine. I made it through my fun Spanish class taught by Francie and immediately headed to BJ’s with the gang afterwards. Luckily I got there before Jeanie and got the biggest wine glass.. Bitchacha!!

Saturday I was back doing my airport gig. The poor people traveling to the east coast were doomed. Francie’s family didn’t leave as planned, they were headed to the Northeast and decided to wait until Monday to even try to make their connections! It was a long day at RTB. The plane that was supposed to be there at 12:20 arrived at 3:20, we didn’t leave the airport until 4 PM, exhaustion set it, however I still made chicken noodle soup for dinner, it was just what I needed. That and vodka. AND, I just talked about the airport again, oh well, it is a part of my life.

This letter was received about us, the Volunteer Airport Greeters, it is the very reason we do what we do.

In my line of business I travel internationally quite frequently and lately, work with Vegas Electric has been bringing me to Roatan on a more regular basis.

As a frequent traveler in the Americas, I usually know what to expect – a short flight from Houston that may or may not be on time, the signature Roatan warmth as we deplane, and a long line with an air conditioning system that may or may not work. As mentioned, that is more or less what I expect when arriving in Roatan, and to be fair it is not very different than similar destinations in the Americas I travel to.

During my last trip to Roatan however, something was different. We were a little bit late, and the warm embrace of the breeze was unchanged as we deplaned, but something was different with the line at immigration. It was the group of mostly ladies from the Roatan Tourism Board (or Chamber) uncertain of the actual name. They were smiling, they were engaging, they were speaking to every person in line, quite a welcoming sight and experience. It made the usually tedious nature of waiting for your turn go a lot faster, a lot easier and in the end, entirely changed the disposition of the passengers, the immigration officers and the room in general. What a great way to arrive.

The excellent initiative of establishing a formal island welcome in this fashion, makes a difference to new arrivals to Roatan. I can tell you it made a difference to me, and that I also saw it in the faces of other passengers. This is an excellent initiative that in my view should continue as the ladies warmth, smiles and positive energy made a big difference in the arrival and ensure the Roatan difference is felt from before immigration.

As you continue to work towards strengthening and differentiating the Roatan tourist experience, I think this should be an element retained and when possible, extended.

Regards and very nice to meet you.

I love my airport gig and the people I meet there. It’s lobby leading, just not for Bank of America, although they did teach me well.

It was a blustery weekend on the rock. It looked like a battlefield when I walked the dogs.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Gringo, (R) is 9 months old and towers over his momma Frito the seal. She stops dead when I’m walking her, then runs like hell and face plants. She only has 3 legs, guess she forgets that.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Neighbors pool, I can use anytime I want. It’s a bit chilly now, maybe 60’s..if it gets really hot or I’m just really hot, it may happen. I’m used to cold water swims, I lived in Washington, I swam in a river and a lake that were both fed by glaciers.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Trumpet tree leaves littered our driveway. A certain part of these trees are a preferred food for sloths. There is a sloth farm here. No lie.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

These are huge leaves!!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Gringo on the R is so much bigger than seal lips (Frito).

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Such a gorgeous boy.

The locals were freezing their butts off, wearing sweaters and layers of long shirts. It was mid 70’s with a cool wind from the north. I wasn’t cold. I’m still not cold, except I do have on socks with my flip flops..

A couple more photos before I proofread this 19 times and publish it. This is our granddaughter Alexah, she is 13.

11071161_1510810405889528_2626217882231726867_o

Maybe I’m partial but I think she is gorgeous!

This is Chloee, she will be 10 in February.

12495015_10208198564272419_3396366799729997219_n

Look at her dimples, she just got about 4″ cut off her hair, this is the new do. I think she’s a beauty too!

We are so excited for July to come so we can spend some time with the girls and Chance and Alecia. I can’t wait to take them snorkeling and show them around this gorgeous island!!

Signing off this cool breezy January night, going to watch some American Horror Story. I’m wildly fascinated with it.

Get your socks and velour sweatsuits out tonight, it’s going to be a brisk one..it’s 73 degrees at 9:20 PM..