Misfits and Mayhem

pirate202/06/2016 The front of the house is finally fenced in; however  the fence was not yet concreted to the cinder block base and we are still waiting on the metal sliding gate to be finished. Bill made a temporary fence gate to keep the dogs in. The other day the pups were outside running around playing and next thing I hear is Bill yelling, “the pups got out!” They pushed the fence away at the bottom where it wasn’t finished and escaped like greased pigs. Luckily they ran down through the woods and not down towards the main road. Alexi went chasing after them and I ran down the driveway (well, fast walked, I can’t really run) and they were all running back up to me. Highway was the only one who didn’t escape, well, he and Frito, who was inside. Bill finished the fence the next day so they can no longer escape through the bottom. That was a little excitement that I didn’t need, I would freak if anything happened to any of them.

Brett and Carmen rode with me to Mondays Don’t Suck. I’m so glad they came because it was an awesome day on the beach. We had a huge group of people enjoying MDS. The Duchess of Camp Bay’s friend (and my friend) Skip arrived on Saturday and was there for the day along with so many other people, some I didn’t even know. We played volleyball, swam and floated AND we did a conga line on the beach. I think it was going on 5 PM by the time I got home. I was exhausted from all the fun.

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Game 1, Carmen displaying her perfect form. I too played a round of volleyball but, for some damn reason, I couldn’t stand still, I had to dance. There was music playing and it was dancing music..Once I start I have a hard time stopping. Dancing that is, not playing volleyball. While looking at this photo, please imagine that I have the same ultra perfect form that Carmen does. I’m sure I do. Really.

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Cute beach dog who may now belong to the Duchess.

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Carmen displaying her 2 favorite beach things, wine and a Bengals cup..

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Francie showing off her technique..she’s our sexy player..

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So many people and so many different levels of being upright. What a group!

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Skip was really excited for Mondays Don’t Suck!

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Volleyball is hard work..so is partying all the time!

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View of our beach area..

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Roger looking for some good Conga Line music.

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A small gathering of misfits

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The Duchess

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The Duchess and Skip

So many fun people, it was an awesomely amazeballs day.

There are 2 videos of the conga line..I was going to post one of them but then decided that nobody really wants or needs to see my boobs almost popping out of my suit. So, you’re welcome, I saved you from the retina burner. Skip, thanks for the TIME and People magazines w/ Bowie on them. Prized possessions..I still owe you a drink or 3.

Tuesday I went to Mega Paca to get some bedding stuff for Doña Maria. We are planning to go see her on Sunday, weather permitting. I got her a few nice things then went to the store and got her some staples like coffee and shampoo and conditioner. The group from Live Again Ministries are on the island and paid her a visit last week, they are building a bench for her. More on that in the next blog..On the way home from shopping I stopped at the Stihl chain saw place to  get a new wiper and ended up sitting there pulling ticks off their puppies eye and out of her ears. {I bought some worm medicine and stopped the next day to worm her.}

I came home and did some laundry and was sitting here at the computer reading something when I heard a loud rumble. I thought it was a severe wind gust. Then the whole damn house shuddered, TWICE. The dogs freaked out, Barrio cried, and it was over. Earthquake!! At first they said it was 4.7 and upgraded to 4.9. It was so weird to hear the rumble, thinking it’s something else but then realizing just what the hell it was. No injuries or damage reported on the island. I have a big art piece that needs realigned, but that’s it.

I don’t work at the airports on Wednesday, but I was there. I went to meet a new friend who is active in animal rescue and was coming to the island for vacation. She brought along a donation of many collars and leashes for the upcoming vet clinic and I offered to meet her at the airport to get them. Thank you Brenda, I know they will be appreciated! I also got to meet Carmen’s parents who arrived the same day. I spent most of the afternoon Wednesday trying to decide on a costume for the Pirate party. I’m not much for costumes but having gone to the party last year and seeing the way people were dressed, I had to give it a shot. I tried on so many damn black dresses, red bra on top of tank tops (looked like a poor hooker), swimsuit cover-up (fat), skirts, back to dresses, started feeling like a nitwit and thought maybe I should just go to the party and not worry about a costume. I decided to make rum balls and have a drink instead.

Thursday morning I got up and all I could think about was a pirate wench costume. I somehow managed to go from pirate girl to wench overnight, funny how that shit happens. All of a sudden I had an epiphany. My boots, I still  had my boots. Never forget that a good pair of boots can make you into a slutty pirate in no time. These boots took me months to decide on, the boots that I may have bought 9 or 10 different pairs, only to return them all. The boots that I finally had to special order. It became a joke with my friends back in the states, especially Teri B who happened to be with me for many of the search, buy and return scenarios.

I’ll admit it. I used to have a very serious addiction. To black shoes and boots. Truth be told, moving to the island was the only way for me to escape the chains of my addiction and get on with my life. I only brought 2 pair of black boots and probably a dozen pair of black shoes, 10 pair which I have not worn since I’ve been here.

Anyhow, so I have these kick ass black knee-high, heeled boots. They’re not a spike heel so they can go dressy or slutty..I chose the latter. By 10AM I had my outfit chosen and I was feeling pretty good. Only issue was MY FEET. They thought they were dying in properly enclosed shoes, it’s been a few years since they have seen anything like boots. I sucked it up and pulled those suckers on, zipped them up, grabbed a Stronghold headband, my wine and wineglass and we were good to go. Oh yes, I also had on a pirate shirt and my tutu, of course. All slutty pirate wenches wear tutus.

For all of you curious souls, no Bill did not wear a costume, but he did go with me. Alexi, our helper was here and when he saw me he got this big shit eaten grin on his face and said, “you look cool.” I knew I did something right. We got to BJ’s around 10 to noon and were picked up by boat to get to the party. I believe we may have been the first guests to arrive. Francie was already a gorgeous slutty pirate wench but Franklin wasn’t in his Johnny Deppish clothes yet.

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Big Rock (If this looks familiar, it’s is the same place that we had spa day recently)

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flying that flag

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The fabulous slutty pirate hostess with the slutty pirate toenails and me.

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Pirates pirates everywhere..

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Alex and Joe, pirate banditos

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We had parrots everywhere

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The outdoor kitchen/bar area..

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The fabulous host Franklin with their new, adorable puppy, Rocky.

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Francie eating some of the firecrackers I made..

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Roger and Mike

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Skip and the Duchess Jeanie

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2 slutty pirate wenches, Francie and Marilyn

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The sword that Kathy is wearing is real, and it is sharp.

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For some reason I thought it was a good idea for Brett to use the sword to slash up the neck of my t-shirt, while I was wearing it.

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Yep, more piratey shirt for sure.

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The divine pirate wench Kathy.

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Kathy and Carmen

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Keri (from Snohomish WA), BJ and me

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I wore my tutu in the pool and the tag was still on it, $198.00

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Franklin and Bob

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Francie, Gail and I dancing. You can see the water droplets on my skirt. It did very well in the water. I would get out of the pool and shake like a dog and it would be almost dry. Thankfully no pics of the dog like shaking..

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Carmen and I decided to grace everyone with a beautifully choreographed synchronized swimming special. Thank you Davey for capturing these moments on film.

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We are so good, our timing was spot on.

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Keri and Gail, wenching it up. Gail is my dancing girl, she loves to dance as much as I do.

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Photo by Rosalie Dickson Boileau. Rosalie took this photo of her husband Bob (L) me and Joe.

Funny thing, at the semi end of the party they announced the winners for best costume and Bob won for the men and I won for the women. We each got a Pirate shot glass. Francie said I won b/c of my boots, Bob won b/c he had cute red lips..

This was seriously the best party I’ve been to since ever..the food was spectacular, as is the location, superb hosts and an amazing cast of fellow pirate friends..an epic pirate party!

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Rosalie posted this on FB the day after the party. It’s so perfect.

Brenda, who I met at the airport (collars and leashes) on Wed. messaged me Friday morning to see if I was going to BJ’s. I was debating because I didn’t have the energy. I knew that excuse would not cut it with Jeanie so I fed the dogs a late breakfast, showered and dressed for the day. I got to BJ’s a little after 1 and there were only a handful of people there but soon the place began to fill up. Francie and Franklin came so I ran to my car to call Bill to see if he was on his way. He made an enclosed bulletin board for Kat’s Rise Up Roatan center and he was going to help Franklin hang it.

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This is the building where our Spanish classes were held, coincidentally, it’s right across the road from BJ’s parking lot..

I hung out at BJ’s, got involved (sort of) in a meeting with PIER (Partners In Education Roatan) and some friends, then went back to BJs. Brenda and her friends were  there, Jeanie, Roger and Skip had arrived, the place was packed. I got an order of fries, finished my wine and went home. Before I left I told Brenda about Cal’s Cantina. We were going there for dinner with Jeanie, Roger and Skip. We got to Cal’s around 5, a perfect time because there was already a table of friends, more came in, then another table, then Brenda and her friends, then our neighbor John came, before long, the place was crowded. We had a good meal, as always, and then came back here for Skip to meet Frito and we did sips of Damiana.

I woke this morning to a chilly cloudy rainy day. My mind went to the people coming in for vacation, on a dark, damp, cool dismal day. You know most of the people just left somewhere very cold and were hoping to arrive on a bright sunny island. Not happening. I didn’t realize just how bad the weather was until I got to the airport and heard it was closed due to a low ceiling. Avianca going to the mainland sat there, fully boarded for over 90 minutes waiting to take off. AA from Miami was late due to mechanical issues, United arrived first, after circling for 15 minutes. Soon after that 3 more planes landed, (one of which aborted their first landing here and went around again), at the same damn time almost. It was a long day but I did get a guy to sing to me and then he kissed me, all to get in the express lane..Some people will do anything…and I’m just the girl to make them.

TV tip, just watched Twinsters on Netflix, I really enjoyed it. True story about twins separated at birth who find each other 25 years later. Great story and the real twins are the stars..

It’s past my bedtime, stay tuned..I’m hoping we don’t get blown off this hilltop, it’s pretty damn windy out there.

P.S. I was going to post this blog this morning but I woke at 5 AM to no power. It just came back on around 4:30 this afternoon. Island wide outage, always happens when a Norther rolls in..

One hundred years young

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10/18/2015 Many of you probably wonder what the hell I do all day? I mean, I can’t shop, I no longer have a scrapbook room or a garden, what do I do? Sometimes I asked my self the same damn question. Many days it will be 4 PM and I’m still in my nightgown. That’s not to say I’m in bed, I’m not. I’m just not dressed and especially DO NOT HAVE ON A BRA. YAY for any time with no bra.

Every morning the first thing I do is feed my cat her daily scoop of wet food. If I don’t feed her right away she attacks me if I walk by her.  Yes, attacks is the right word. She bolts out from under the bed and swats or bites my ankles. Depends how badly I’ve pissed her off. Once the demon is fed I go out on the porch to see the 5 dogs who are all waiting at the back door for me. This door is open all day long, we close it when we go to bed, there is a screen door, but due to the succession of 4 legged creatures in my house, it is a P.O.S. It does however keep the dogs out. Which lately, they are in WAAAY more than they are out. The pups idea, not mine. I am just putty in their hands paws. Speaking of which, yes Jeanie, I am your insane dog friend. My life now revolves around these 3 boys, I feel like I’ve given birth to triplets. To say I’m a “tad” attached would be a hugely gross mis-representation of facts. I ADORE these pups. Well, @ 40# each, they’re really not pups but 6 month old eating machines. They are eating 14 cups of dry food a day, along with yogurt at breakfast, 3 scrambled eggs at lunch and chicken rice and veggies at dinner. They get sweet potato slices, home made cookies and their frozen popsicles too. They eat better than Bill does, ask him, he will agree. He does make their chicken gruel, I just chop the veggies for it.

Once the pups are fed, I eat breakfast in front of the computer. I check a few sites daily, read what I want to read in the news, check face book and answer emails. Breakfast is the same thing every morning for 2 years now, scrambled eggs with red and green peppers and a jalapeno in them, with salsa and shredded cheese on a soft tortilla, maybe a cup of tea. Remember, I’m the weirdo that doesn’t drink coffee, ick.

Sometimes I peruse the internet sporadically during the day, other times I am gone or cleaning, baking (dog treats), cleaning up dog poop, walking dogs, watching the puppies don’t eat the couch, all of those fun things that I know make you really jealous you don’t live my life..

This past Friday I gave up my party afternoon with my tribal friends and went to a birthday party for a 100 years young woman that I met at the senior luncheon.  I went to meet my friend Nidia at her store in Coxen hole, we were joined by our friend Mac. He’s the guy who danced with Aunty Jane at the senior luncheon. He and Nidia and I were walking to the event, carrying ice cream and deviled eggs. We made a quick stop in a store so I could get Aunty Clara a gift. I had no idea what to get her but Nidia knew. I bought her a nice lightweight housedress. That is a word I have not heard or used since my grandma passed away in 1977. The lady at the “store” didn’t have any bags or wrapping paper so I bought a gift bag that said Baby on it. I mentioned that to Nidia and she reminded me that Aunty Clara is blind, she won’t know. We got to the party and before the rest of the people came we went up to see Aunty Clara. Mac had a very generous gift for her and I gave her the dress. I pulled it out of the bag and described it to her. I told her my grandma used to wear them all the time and this was just like hers with 2 pockets on it. She seemed very happy.

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The pins for Aunty Clara’s party. 100 years young!!

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Aunty Clara in the middle

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My gorgeous friend Nidia. This beautiful woman has the biggest heart of anyone I know. I adore her!!

Mac and I hung out for awhile as Nidia got things organized. I asked Nidia where Aunt Jane was and she said home and we were going to get her. She, Mac and I walked to the corner of Coxen Hole’s main drag, went through a gate and up some steps to her apartment.

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The wires outside of Aunt Jane’s home.

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Her porch and stairs to outside and her all important gadget, a tortilla maker

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The wall in her home. It was immaculate but very sparsely furnished, a bench and an old TV.

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relatives, neighbor kids?? playing in the mango tree

Her hair was all dishelved and she was in her house clothes when we arrived. Mac and I waited while Nidia got her all spiffed up. She looked fabulous when she came out. She is 99 and a little spitfire with gorgeous blue eyes.

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Look at this sweet face, 99 years old. This lady is a hoot!!

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Nidia walking her to the corner to get a cab

We put her in a cab to go the few blocks to the party and we walked. Once we got back there, the place was filling up. Aunt Jane was sitting with Miss Catherine, 2 beautiful ladies!

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Miss Catherine and Aunt Jane

They were passing out plates heaping full of food and cups of soda to everyone, there were people inside and out.

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Nidia with Aunty Clara

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Aunty Clara singing for us

We stayed for her to blow out the candles on her cake, then made our way back to Nidia’s store and our cars. Nidia had to go to Pandytown that evening for another concert to raise the rest of the money for treatment for Ursula

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Nidia with Aunty Clara

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Aunty Clara blowing out her candle. She told Nidia to save the rest of the candles for her cake next year!

Saturday found me back at the airport again. It was sheer insanity, all 3 flights landed within 15 minutes of each other. American was over an hour late, Delta and United beat them by 5 and 10 minutes. Imagine 400 people trying to fit in the tiny immigration building. It got chaotic but we handled it and people, for the most part were happy. Odd as it may seem that 3 airlines from 3 different departure cities would land in the same 15 minute time frame, there’s not a damn thing we can do about it. It is what it is. I just allow my Bank of America training to kick in and as my friend Nathan W says, “I’m leading from the lobby.”  Some of you will “get” this. Chaos or not, I LOVE being there.

On Wednesday, a day before his 6 month birthday Gringo lost his family jewels. He will be fathering no island babies. 1 pup down, 2 pups to go. We got to Dr Calderon’s at 7 and were out of there by 7:30.

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My sweet boy Gringo getting neutered.

It took over an hour for Gringo to wake up and when he did, he peed all over. Another hour passed and I got him downstairs and out for a little fresh air and monitored movement. He was a peeing machine that day. Finally by dinner time he was getting back to normal but still had the “WTH did you do to me” look on his face! I felt guilty.

On Thursday Marilyn and Carmen came here and we all took off in my car to run errands, maybe do lunch and go to Cattleya to paint Christmas ornaments. We ended up going in Mega Paca (a big Value Village, Goodwill, second hand store). We were all in the skirt aisle and I saw a black tulle tutu looking skirt. When I pulled it out I noticed it was a BCBG Max Azria, then I saw the price tag was still on it. It was originally:

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OMG! It’s a little big but it’s OK, it hides things. It will be great for Halloween, Pirate Party or NY Eve!!

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Evocative of Betsy Johnson, Cyndi Lauper or Debbie Harry. I was so excited I tried it on under my skirt right in the aisle!

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115L = a little over $5.00 but because of the color tag (blue) it was 50% off, I paid about $2.50 for it. SCORE!

We all made out really well there. I even bought some wine glasses for BJ’s. {They only have a few and I prefer my wine not to be in a juice glass}. After we left we were going to have lunch but only had 45 minutes until Cattleya so we went to the grocery store grabbed some stuff and ate in my car in the parking lot of the grocery store. Cattleya  is the school that a friend started years ago to help mentally and physically disabled kids of all ages. There are autistic children, Downs children, children with motor skill deficiencies, it’s a fabulous school because otherwise these students would get no specialized help. The students made and colored lots of Christmas ornaments and the majority of them were decorated but we helped get the rest of them finished and another lady was there adding the strings. They sell the ornaments to raise money for the school.

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Marilyn, Carmen and I. Photo courtesy of Connie Silvestri

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Marilyn on the right, Carmen and I. Photo courtesy of Connie Silvestri

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Some of the finished ornaments

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Ornaments, paint and glitter..

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Carmen painted a reindeer to match her headband. If you like her headband (she’s bringing me a few when she comes back to the island) check out: http://strongholdheadbands.weebly.com/solids.html

Friday we went to BJ’s again. It is always fun to have some wine and visit with friends. It is the hang out for the east enders and every now and then people from West End make it down too. We didn’t used to go but have been in attendance much more lately. It’s a good group of people and there is always someone new to meet.

I worked at the airport again, 4 Saturdays in a row, I’m on a roll. I met a cool couple from Maine, they just moved here. Their home that they built was finished and the snow was going to start back home, so Roatan, here they come. I hope we get the opportunity to meet up with them again. Two other friends from Snohomish, WA., near where we used to live moved down today too. They have owned a house for a year or so, had to sell their business, cars and house in the states and, they’re here! We met them here, never knew them in the states. Weird how that happens. I was elated that I got to say Welcome Home to them as they walked in the building.

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Such a stunning view from our roof

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My friend Cheryl named this cloud Puff, the Magic Dragon. After all, he did frolic by the sea…

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Handsome Highway, the nut case..

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Maxillicious

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Lola and Max

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I love our roof top deck

Well, it’s late, I’m trying to get this done so I can edit and post tomorrow. I’ll leave you with this little tidbit. Don’t pass this up, it’s too unbelievable, click on tidbit and be amazed. Then try to answer one question. WHY?