expats – Mermaid on a Raft

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01/25/2016 There she went just walking ‘cross the floor, singing do wah diddy diddy down diddy do

snappin’ her fingers and shufflin’ her feet, singin’ do-wah diddy-diddy down diddy-do

She looked good, LOOKED GOOD
she looked fine, LOOKED FINE
she looked good, she looked fine
and I nearly lost my mind
Before I knew it she was walkin’ next to me,

And then she was dead.

Squashed by Bill’s shoe. A big assed scorpion, upstairs, in the kitchen and we’ve never had them upstairs before. Not happy about this, I want scorpion barriers. Good news is the big ones don’t have as much venom as the little ones. So the natives say.

I didn’t take a photo of the squashed scorpion because I’m gross, but not that gross. The last time we found a big scorpion, it was the same scenario but it was in the rental house, not ours. The first one was bigger. After the first one met its demise, it laid dead on a paper towel on the kitchen table for 3 days before someone finally threw the damn thing out.

So began my week on the rock.

Sunday morning we took the 3 boys to Parrot Tree for an early morning swim. They were so excited to be there! Not much makes me happier than seeing these 3 guys running and jumping in the water, chasing each other, over and under the beach chairs, up the steps and jumping off the wall. They were exhausted after 30 minutes.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA — Gringo is ready

Monday I went to Mondays Don’t Suck with Gypsy Rosalie and Bob. There were only a handful of us there but my favorite Cookie Monster, Roger is back on the rock. We didn’t have the volleyball net so we just ate and drank. A few brave ones went in the water, it was a rough sea for sure.

I was invited to a spa day at Francie’s this past week. I met Jeanie at the top of the hill in Oak Ridge (her husband dropped her off). We met our badass girlfriend Marilyn at BJ’s at 9:30 and she took us by boat to Big Rock, Franklin and Francie’s utterly fabulous home. (click on Big Rock and check out this property, it is for rent and it’s top notch)

There were 3 ladies to do massages, mani’s and pedi’s. I passed on the massage due to still sore ribs and had a nice relaxing pedi. We had a great lunch, bowls of fruit and some adult beverages. Franklin came home from golfing and made us some specialty drinks with fresh grated nutmeg on top, oh my yummy!!

It was almost totally dark when I got home, a long day away from the babies..What a wonderful way to spend a day with friends. So lucky.

This island is divided into 2 parts, Roatan and Santos Guardiola. I am very thankful to say I live in Santos Guardiola. Each part has their own mayor, ours is Carson Dilbert and I know him well enough to always get a hug and a kiss every time I see him. He is a good man who is trying to do what is right. The mayor on the other end of the island is not quite an upstanding person. When the DEI came in here toting guns and closing businesses, he left the island. He was not here to stop them. Just recently he proposed a new tax plan that is discriminatory, ridiculous and illegal. He thought in his nonfunctioning brain that this was a smart way to get some new $$ for raises for many of the people who work at the municipal. The business people were up in arms over this, taxing foreign dive instructors and other ridiculous things.. Anyhow, my friends on the other end of the island decided to have a march against what he is doing. Ironically, as soon as he got wind of what was going to happen he supposedly rescinded the cruise ship tax and the raises. he thought the march was cancelled. Surprise.. we were still marching.

I got to the airport where the march began at 8 AM. My friend Daine was there and Nidia’s oldest son Franklin. I helped pass out t-shirts and by 9 AM we had passed out 500 of them (purchased with $$ Daine and Nidia raised) that said Roatan United on them.

At 9:15 we were off, the march had started.

600 people strong, photo credit, Aaron Etches

Aaron (2) — In front of the municipal office, photo credit Aaron Etches

Of course, the illustrious Mayor was nowhere to be seen. His minions took to Facebook afterwards and claimed we were all disgruntled people with a political agenda and not business owners. Bullshit. There were MANY business owners there.

I left downtown Coxen Hole at 11:15, buzzed by the house, Bill gave me a cup of ice water and my books for Spanish class and I drove like the local taxis do so I could get to class on time. It had rained a little while we were marching so I was semi wet, semi sweaty and really needed wine. I made it through my fun Spanish class taught by Francie and immediately headed to BJ’s with the gang afterwards. Luckily I got there before Jeanie and got the biggest wine glass.. Bitchacha!!

Saturday I was back doing my airport gig. The poor people traveling to the east coast were doomed. Francie’s family didn’t leave as planned, they were headed to the Northeast and decided to wait until Monday to even try to make their connections! It was a long day at RTB. The plane that was supposed to be there at 12:20 arrived at 3:20, we didn’t leave the airport until 4 PM, exhaustion set it, however I still made chicken noodle soup for dinner, it was just what I needed. That and vodka. AND, I just talked about the airport again, oh well, it is a part of my life.

This letter was received about us, the Volunteer Airport Greeters, it is the very reason we do what we do.

In my line of business I travel internationally quite frequently and lately, work with Vegas Electric has been bringing me to Roatan on a more regular basis.

As a frequent traveler in the Americas, I usually know what to expect – a short flight from Houston that may or may not be on time, the signature Roatan warmth as we deplane, and a long line with an air conditioning system that may or may not work. As mentioned, that is more or less what I expect when arriving in Roatan, and to be fair it is not very different than similar destinations in the Americas I travel to.

During my last trip to Roatan however, something was different. We were a little bit late, and the warm embrace of the breeze was unchanged as we deplaned, but something was different with the line at immigration. It was the group of mostly ladies from the Roatan Tourism Board (or Chamber) uncertain of the actual name. They were smiling, they were engaging, they were speaking to every person in line, quite a welcoming sight and experience. It made the usually tedious nature of waiting for your turn go a lot faster, a lot easier and in the end, entirely changed the disposition of the passengers, the immigration officers and the room in general. What a great way to arrive.

The excellent initiative of establishing a formal island welcome in this fashion, makes a difference to new arrivals to Roatan. I can tell you it made a difference to me, and that I also saw it in the faces of other passengers. This is an excellent initiative that in my view should continue as the ladies warmth, smiles and positive energy made a big difference in the arrival and ensure the Roatan difference is felt from before immigration.

As you continue to work towards strengthening and differentiating the Roatan tourist experience, I think this should be an element retained and when possible, extended.

Regards and very nice to meet you.

I love my airport gig and the people I meet there. It’s lobby leading, just not for Bank of America, although they did teach me well.

It was a blustery weekend on the rock. It looked like a battlefield when I walked the dogs.

The locals were freezing their butts off, wearing sweaters and layers of long shirts. It was mid 70’s with a cool wind from the north. I wasn’t cold. I’m still not cold, except I do have on socks with my flip flops..

A couple more photos before I proofread this 19 times and publish it. This is our granddaughter Alexah, she is 13.

11071161_1510810405889528_2626217882231726867_o — Maybe I’m partial but I think she is gorgeous!

This is Chloee, she will be 10 in February.

12495015_10208198564272419_3396366799729997219_n — Look at her dimples, she just got about 4″ cut off her hair, this is the new do. I think she’s a beauty too!

We are so excited for July to come so we can spend some time with the girls and Chance and Alecia. I can’t wait to take them snorkeling and show them around this gorgeous island!!

Signing off this cool breezy January night, going to watch some American Horror Story. I’m wildly fascinated with it.

Get your socks and velour sweatsuits out tonight, it’s going to be a brisk one..it’s 73 degrees at 9:20 PM..

06/06/2015 I am a puppy mother, Lola is the babysitter from hell. SHEER HELL. Holy sheepshit, these pups are getting big and W I L D. And OMG, we love them so darn much it’s scary. Never before have I had this many puppies. Highway was this small but there was only 1, and Lola was small too and thank all the stars in the sky, there is only 1 of her. She is showing them how to dig holes, eat rocks, pee on the porch and chew on anything and everything. The digging holes is the worst, well, that and the fact she is peeing on the porch again. Death becomes her.

529583_10151337457598533_1562466932_n — Highway 6 weeks old Jan. 2013, Roatan

1604875_10152766076218533_7947708875549484009_n — Lola, 7 weeks old, Dec 2014, Roatan

We still have 4 almost 8 week old puppies to care for and let me tell you, this is a game changer. Four is easier than 7, much easier, but. UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS 3,978,645 TIMES A DAY. omgomgomg. Sometimes coming up the steps I actually think I am going to pass out and face plant on the ground, puppies in hands (pretty sure my boobs would envelope them and protect their heads from traumas.) But still. They are heavy. They eat a lot. And they shit a lot too. Add to that 4 BIG dogs. That’s a shitload of dog shit. And we try to clean it up immediately. I usually stand, shovel in hand behind a squatted puppy butt. I actually thought today that I should just train them to shit on the shovel and I wouldn’t even have to scoop. Oh the places my mind goes. I won’t take you there, I promise.

The pups are weaned. Frito still has milk. I read conflicting info and was told conflicting info re the milk still in Fritos’ boobs. I know that with nursing, supply=demand; no pups nursing, no milk being made. However, she was HUGE. Bill made the comment he was afraid they (boobs) were going to self destruct. I assured him it wouldn’t happen but went down to check. Umm, Dolly Parton X’s 8. I milked her. Yes, I damn did. What else could I do? Watch them explode?? Milk was even squirting out of boobs I wasn’t touching. Frito is still in her food obsessed mind set and was bound and determined to lap up all that milk. I tried like hell to stop her but you try and milk a dog AND keep her from drinking the milk. Go ahead. Try it. Hence, there are no photos of this. I didn’t want her to get the milk because it has lots of protein in it and that encourages more milk. I have stopped giving her yogurt during this drying up stage for that very reason. So we are 12 days into it and she still has some milk. I made the HUMONGO mistake of taking her with me for a few quick errands the other day. Well, now my car smells like sour freaking spoiled rotten dog boob milk. The back trunk area where she was now looks like this:

IMG_20150606_150436 — No, it’s not cocaine, it’s baking soda..to absorb the gross milk smell.

So, TERMITES. Yes, we recently had an abnormally insane infestation. This is what a termite nest looks like. Photo courtesy of the Australian Museum.

I have seen termite nests while walking the dogs, I thought they were, well, I don’t know what I thought they were. We have had termite hatches before, a few hundred wings, call it good, go to bed. This time they started early and got progressively worse. Worse to the point I was ready to lock myself in my car to get away from them. Obviously our windows are not sealed well or we would not have had 11 zillion of these things. INSIDE.

So they hatch, swarm, drop their wings, (each have 4) find a mate and nest. Hopefully not in our furniture!

I took the crib/playpen to Miguel last Sunday, he and Estefany were thrilled with it.

Last post I mentioned Eddy and his brothers, they are really sweet boys who have such a grim future. They live with their grandparents who are quite poor, their mother works in Coxen Hole and is gone during the week. They don’t know who their father(s) are. Eddy, the oldest said most mornings they go to school hungry because there is no food until their grandfather gets paid again. The boys didn’t get TOMS shoes when they were distributed at their school because Eddy was ill and since he’s the oldest, if he doesn’t go to school the younger ones don’t either. They have to hitch a ride in the mornings and if they don’t get a ride in time, they go home. Sad state of affairs in the school system here. I talked to Nidia about them and she said we could give them shoes. I measured them and she and I went and got shoes. When I got home today from my volunteer airport greeter gig (beats WalMart greeter hands down) they were here at the house. Bill got them to try on their shoes but he was afraid David’s were too small. David is the one who comes up through the jungle in his bare feet to get wood for his grandmother to cook with, he is 8. Eddy says his grandparents don’t like David. When I got out of my car Eddy came over and hugged me and said thank you for everything. He is the boy we bought a soccer ball for with the money Walt and Judy Kaiser sent to me. I checked David’s shoes and they are fine, tight but room for his toes and they stretch. Each of the boys came over and hugged me and said thank you.

Eddy fell at school and scraped his face on the concrete, looked nasty so we gave him Vitamin E. Today Marcus took a chunk out of his finger cutting a papaya, they had wrapped a piece of cloth around it. Bill put antibacterial creme and a band aid on it and I taped the band aid on. Poor kids. The new TOMS shoes made them extremely happy boys!!

We have both been exhausted, me so tired that food is meaningless. Food is never meaningless to Bill though. He lives to eat, I eat to live. Friday night we had home made potato chips, last night Bill made corn bread, That was dinner. I’m thinking we need to get our act together since next week at this time we will have guests, Bill’s sister Kathy and her granddaughter Jen. We are really looking forward to them visiting so we can show them our island and help them to understand the variety of reasons that we love it here.

We can see the mainland quite clearly today, this doesn’t happen very often.

Boob update: They all seem to be milk free finally. We’re still going to keep her separated from the pups for a few more days in case they try to nurse, give them time to really dry up. YAY for no more milk.

I’m off to puppy sit downstairs, hope your Sunday is half as exciting as mine.

P.S.S. It wasn’t boob milk in my car that smelled, it was urine. She PEED in my car. Damn Damn Damn. Think I got the smell out using Nature’s Miracle Pet Odor Remover. Last ride for the 3 legged dog..

Tag: expats

They found me

I milked my dog….