I’d rather dodge bullets than potholes

 

 

1/4/2018 First time typing or even thinking 2018. It’s here and I’m already another year older (yesterday)! I haven’t been doing much except for a few Christmas parties for the kids and a couple get togethers with friends so I thought I would share some island revelations. Instead of NY resolutions, I mean, really WTH are they? Does anyone REALLY do them? I think not.

Revelation #1. So, how many of you check the toilet before you sit down on it? We are a lid down family. Always down, I like it that way except for the one or two times in my life that I had too much to drink and forgot. I lift the lid and I check the bowl. Every. Single. Time. You ask why? Well, I’ve read about snakes coming up the pipes and being in toilets and I read about a lady that sat down to pee and a frog jumped up and hit her in the butt. I’m telling you if I ever saw a snake in my toilet or a frog touched my butt, it would be the last time I ever peed. EVERRRR. I would just blow up in a weeks time and explode all over creation. I did not make that a NY resolution. Actually I don’t think I ever in my life made one (well, one that I kept anyhow).

Revelation # 2. I hate, detest, abhor Geckos. I don’t care how cute anyone thinks they are, I hate them. Honest, given my choices and I know I’ve said this before, I would prefer a 4′ iguana in my house rather than a 4″ gecko. They give me the major creeps. They can all die or relocate to a different island and I’ll be cool with it.

Revelation # 3. I do not handle having no internet or a non or poorly functioning laptop/tablet well. It’s my boiling point. It makes me crazier than I already am.

Revelation # 4. I no longer am a shopper. Living on Roatan has put an end to that. My needs are little, my wants are nil, it’s so simple and easy. I never was one for designer handbags, personally don’t like them, just not my style. My handbag is a Keene that I got at Mega Paca for $3.00 and it’s perfect. It’s waterproof and I can wipe the mud off of it with no worries of stains.

Revelation # 5. I wear my day clothes to bed. ALL THE TIME. Usually a dress and undies, that’s my go to at home wear and many days I crawl into bed in the same clothes I wore all day. The epitome of laziness. That’s me.

and last but not least: #6. I blow dry my razor. If I don’t it’s good for one shave only. It turns into such a rust heap that it’s a definite source of lockjaw. So towel dry, blow dry, cover and store out of the shower.

OK, done with revelations, I could go on but it may get disturbing to some so I’ll quit while I’m ahead.

Nidia and I did 2 Christmas parties for the kids this year, back to back. The first was in an area we went to the very first year we helped Nidia, in 2014. It’s called Brass Hill but Bill thought she was saying Brazil so we now refer to it as Brazil. It is a very very poor part of the island. The majority of the children do not go to school, most of them don’t have shoes.

Our very own tropical flip flop wearing Santa, AKA Sully.

Everyone got a Santa hat

One of the local homes

Fridge/ bench, it’s versatile.

The Queen Bee, Nidia, getting the group organized. Sort of.

These children are so beautiful. This one loved Santa, she was beside him all day.

Checking the list..naughty or nice. Not really, we had a list of kids that would get gifts.

Happy kids, toys and candy

My idea of a selfie.

Our motley crew, Nidia, David, Nicola and Charlie (David’s sweet kids) Sully and me. And my antlers light up!

Me with a sweet young girl. Francie, I have on our top.

Santa going back to his sleigh, errr, truck.

This was on a Friday and the next day we were having the big party in downtown Coxen Hole. It was held at The Merry Inn Seaman Club. I had seen the signs but never been inside the building. I had to park a couple blocks away and luckily brought my rain coat, even though it was a sunny day. It was a wise move on my part. Usually I let things like that, or my umbrella in the car.

At one time this was a well known and busy establishment. They are still open, random hours though.

The inside was a museum, the artwork was amazing. I couldn’t believe it. It saddens me that it is being destroyed by the elements. It really should be preserved.

The Pirate history of Roatan was painted on some of the walls. I met the lady who’s uncle did the artwork, he has since passed.

There were 2 cruise ships painted on the walls, fantastic details on them.

Roatan has a huge pirate history.

The bar had all kinds of fish painted on it.

Don’t know what the hell this fish is but I don’t want to meet it.

These were some homes along the building. The far one has an outside sink, which is very common.

There was a cruise ship in port that day

We blew up balloons to make streamers and sliced all the hot dog buns, got the toys ready, waiting for the arrival of Santa. Word got out that he was there and he was mobbed before he even got in the room.

The kids were very excited.

More Santa hats

Santa was swarmed like bees on honey

He could barely walk

This face

Santa gave everyone toys and candy

Me and Nidia

It was getting dark and was pouring buckets and I had to walk to my car. I put my raincoat on, hood up and left the party at 5. It’s an hour drive home, even more in the rain and my windshield is very tinted, making it difficult to see in the dark, I was so exhausted when I got home that I just vegetated on the couch before I went to bed.

The kitchen view on Thanksgiving day.

Newly re-upholstered couch. The ottomans have covers on top of it (it looks wrinkly) to keep the dog hair off of the new upholstery, I can take the cover off to clean it.

I took my curtains down and gave them away. I hated them. I don’t want curtains but Bill does. I haven’t taken the brackets down yet but will before we paint. Once the counter tops are finished, we’ll do the tile back splash and then I’ll choose a color for the walls. One thing at a time.

On Christmas Day we went to our neighbors (a mile away) and had Christmas dinner with other friends. They had their tree decorated.

My friend Yvonne being bartender. Not really, I think she was just getting something to drink.,

Part of the group

Lots of excellent food, turkey and ham and every side dish imaginable.

Dessert table, chocolate rum cake, Italian Cream cake, key lime pie

And Yvonne’s decadent Reese’s bars. I think I ate 8 of them.

The parrots have been around a lot lately. Just the other night a flock of them flew overhead, so noisy. It’s the first I ever saw a flock of them around here.

These two perch in this tree often. They are wild yellow naped parrots.

These two are babies, no yellow on their necks yet.

This is why I can’t have nice bedding, the dogs and the cat. The cat has a thousand tiny holes in the spread from jumping up on the bed a zillion times a day. And the dogs, well, hair..

A friend noticed this dog down by the abandoned pirate ship, she had been feeding her. I went and fed her a few days and started looking for a home for her.

Found out the second day she has an owner and she’s not covered in fleas or ticks so maybe she is OK.

Mom and Dad with the Harry and David cookies I sent them for Christmas. It’s so hard to buy for them at 96 and 92. I just sent them 100 photos of things around the island via Walgreen’s. I type on each photo what it is so they know what they’re looking at.

Currently Chance is visiting them. He arrived last night and is staying with my sister. They are very excited that he is there.

Our eating space the other night for pizza when our friends came over. It didn’t even rain until the rum cake dessert was finished. Lucked out that night.

The other evening the power went out around 6:20. My friend Ann messaged me and said she wonders what the cruise ship people think. They are leaving the island around 6, just getting mid island and the whole island goes dark. Maybe they think we turn the island lights off after the cruise ships leave.

Life has been pretty much stay at home, I honestly do NOT want to go anywhere because the roads are so bad. I have never seen them like this and with the rain we have been having they continue to deteriorate. It’s just not worth it to even go out. Today I’m going in to town because Nidia is finally getting a vehicle and I’m going to meet her at Island Shipping when her new to her car arrives and take photos. She is 40 and has never owned a car and if anyone needs one, she does. A Go Fund Me was started by a friend and raised enough money to buy her some wheels. She is beyond excited, she said never in all of her life did she think she would own a car. I hope she can avoid the damn potholes for awhile until the new Mayor takes office and things change around here.

I’ll end this with a video of an every freaking day occurrence at our house. Barrio always takes this toy and shoves it in Highway’s face while whining, crying, singing, who knows. Watch Gringo’s face (bottom right) at about 20 sec. Highway is the one laying upside down on the dog bed. Click HERE.

Happy New Year everyone.

 

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A tree glows in Calabash Bight

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12/11/2015   I went up on the roof and had a Dos Equis the other night, it was a beautiful evening and the view was as amazing as ever. We really have the best of both worlds, being able to see the N and S shores of the island. Sometimes the weather can be completely different if I turn around.

The dogs are having some issues running around up there, it’s much more slippery than when it was regular old concrete. But it looks so much better, they will just have to chill the hell out..

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roof view, looking Northwest

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Guess who this is? She is famous in Camp Bay, a Duchess of sorts.

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The wind blew her glass onto her shirt so I suggested she wring it back into the glass..

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She even brought her own vino, she’s a fussy Duchess…

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On Sat we went to Sandy Bay to pick up a friends new mattress. We stopped at the gas station and the guard in front of the former Banco Lafise was holding a phone to his ear with his right hand and he was holding his rifle with the same hand while the gun was balanced with his left hand which is HOLDING ANOTHER CELL PHONE. Surely he has no idea what is going on around him.

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We were picking up the mattress in Sandy Bay. and needed to do it earlier in the morning because the seller had to be at the airport by late morning. It was kind of a stormy, iffy day, Brett and Carmen brought a big tarp.

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Deserted beach

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coral display

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quartz tower

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The sea looked angry

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Sorry this is all the closer I could get of this place. The building on the far right has a chute to slide your kayak into the water. Pretty cool..

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Wee wees, or leaf cutter ants. We do not like the wee-wees.

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Bad wee-wees, die wee-wees

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A house that our friend is doing some work on. It was right across the street from where Mike and Liza were staying in West Bay Village.

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The people who bought this place made it bigger and it’s pretty darn close to the neighbor’s stairway.

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Bill, Liza, Carmen and Mike. Brett is just behind Carmen.

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Christmas tree at Bananarama. We walked up the beach from Mike and Liza’s and had lunch there. It was great!!

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Mike, Brett and Carmen.

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The sea was rough, we had a semi-nor’easter come through here.

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Bananarama had the shade sails down and rolled up. I imagine the wind would get those things flying and send these lamp posts off with them.

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It is a hard way to make a living, selling ice cream on the beach, especially on a severely overcast day.

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I was warned not to step on the gurgling sand as it was akin to quicksand and would gobble me up. I played it safe and just snapped a pic.

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Weird this pic turned out like this, I was walking when I shot it. The day wasn’t that dark.

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This shows how dark it really was.

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lonesome pier

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Mike and Liza’s place, lower level, just a few seconds walk to the beach.

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Sports court (or a football arena if you’re Nathan W) Flowers Bay, right on the sea

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This photo looks like a painting, not sure why a few of them turned out like this. Also shot while sticking my hand out the window w/ the camera and snapping away.

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Same situation

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Nothing surprises me, I just like to document things for you all to enjoy

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Big ship in port, Columbian Navy Vessel.  The video in this link was shot by Daine Etches as the ship was coming in to port.

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It’s beautiful!!

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Yes, I have seen pretty much everything.

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This is the ark looking nightclub El Boske is building in Politilly.

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This is the front of it

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Bill and Brett loading the mattress and frame on the boat.

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Some Baaaaaa’s on the way home

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They are always wandering around the same spot..

A friend sent me this video, it’s pretty amazing, especially if you are a skier. Check it out here. I think I have watched it 11 times already, it mesmerizes me… not much does.

Sunday morning it freaking poured buckets. It was raining so loud it woke me up. Usually when I get up I can get 1 minute before D O G S happen, this morning they were inside and there was no escape. It’s ok though, they’re not a bad thing to wake up to, unless they are barking incessantly. Which they sometimes do. I ran to Mega Paca and grabbed some baby toys for the upcoming Christmas party then went and got groceries too. It was a crappy day earlier but it cleared up enough that I was able to walk 4 of the 6 dogs, Bill walked the other 2. Nothing like making 4 trips down and back UP our driveway.

Monday came and went and I did nothing except clean up the kitchen and cook eggs for the week for my breakfast. Bob and Rosalie stopped by so Bill could see if he was able to fix their generator. (He did)  Rosalie and I visited while they were doing guy things. Tuesday was another do nothing day, the concrete bags were delivered and stored in the downstairs living room. Come on, isn’t that where YOU store your concrete too? Cement mixer and drill press in the kitchen, dog meds in the 1 bedroom, soccer jerseys in the other and a couch for a friend. I will fall down on my knees and praise the Lord when Bills’ shop is done. Just an FYI, it’s not started yet..Need to get our permit and to do that they want hair from your first born during it’s first 2 weeks of life and 3 sets of scorpion pinchers, other than that, no big deal..

Wednesday I met my friend Jan at the bottom of her road. She was going to Ceiba Thursday for her residency and was going to check to see if our cards are ready or not.  If not, I have a friend going next week who will also check for us. Super pain in the ass. They sure don’t make it easy to live here or do business here.

We had a visit from Dave Symons, he brought me a gazillion candy canes for the Christmas parties Nidia is doing, along with a bag of toys that I picked up earlier. Thank you Dave and Trish!!  I was going to take the canes the day I took the toys except I had errands to do and they would have turned into peppermint syrup in my car, and yes, it is December. Dave, Bill, 2 other guys who were here and the neighbors worker hoisted the couch over the deck railing and onto the porch, then inside. YAY, my couch is inside. AND THE DOGS THINK IT’S FOR THEM. They are not allowed on this or the other couch, especially not this one. It’s a game, they think. So happy to have the couch inside!

One of the people I met through my blog was Sean from Canada. Sean and I messaged/emailed often about Roatan and many things on the island. He and his wife were here over Easter last year (busiest week of the year) and decided to come again this Dec. They arrived, along with 2 of Sean’s wife, Caralee’s friends. Sean travels like Bill does and like Mike does, with sister wives. Kinda, but not. Anyhow, Sean and the group arrived on Monday. We were hoping to get together so we could at least meet. He messaged me today, “We are going to Parrot Tree, may stop at Cal’s for lunch.” I responded, “I’ll find you.” I ran and met Jan, then went to the ATM, which was down again. damn banks.  I had to go inside and to me that is a hateful experience. I got done with that and then went to Parrot Tree to look for Sean. They weren’t there so I went home. I had a yogurt, loved the dogs and went back to look for them. On the way I noticed an X-Terra that could have been a rental (Sean’s car). I got to Parrot Tree, walked down to the water, no Sean. So I drove over to the other side of PT and checked out my friends house, looked at a house that has been being built for a long time and went back to the lagoon. I noticed the X-terra from Cal’s was there. I thought for sure that was their car. Seriously, I should have been a detective, I really like looking into things, getting to the bottom of it.. Anyhow, the super sleuth in me knew I was onto something. I saw a guy that looked like Sean with several women on the other side of the bridge that goes over the lagoon. They started to walk alongside the south side of the lagoon, thinking there may be beach on the other side of the wall, but there isn’t, it’s ironshore. By this time I knew it was them. They were walking W towards the N shore of the lagoon. I started walking W towards the S shore. When we were close enough to be heard I yelled, “You must be Sean, you’re the only guy on the beach with 3 women following you.” He gave me a big hug as did his wife Caralee. I liked them instantly. Caralee’s friends were very cool too. Funny thing is, all 4 work together in IT in a big bank in Canada. Bankers to Bankers..

We hung out along the lagoon for awhile talking. Then I thought I would let them relax and come home to see what the dogs were up to. They said they had some toys for the dogs and would come over when they left PT. Now when these people say they have a few toys, prepare to be floored. A FEW TOYS??? My dogs got a whole aisle of a dog toy store. All super tough, chew resistant (really a myth) toys. Actually, these look like the strongest toys the dogs have ever had. I’m keeping all the toys inside and only giving them a few for now, although I did give them an adrenalin rush and gave them all of the toys at once. They freaked out.

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The goods, these are not just regular toys, they are made for dogs like mine. Dogs that have an insatiable chewing desire..Oh wait, that’s every dog I’ve ever owned, except Frito. She has never destroyed anything.

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Max, Barrio and Highway

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Highway has choices

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They all picked a toy and ran to their spots to play with it.

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Highway was a little testy, like, don’t screw with my toy young pup. He was all growly and acting macho.

Needless to say, these toys are a huge hit, they are loving them.  Thank you again so much Sean and Caralee!! Hope to see you on Friday @ BJ’s.

On Wednesday I got a call from my hairdresser to see if I wanted to come in the next day. Did I need my hair done. Turns out she was leaving the island for a month and wanted to do the people she knew would need to have color. Poor Nadia, how selfless of her, her brother was murdered in Italy and she was trying to take care of her customers..Love that woman so much. She is off to Italy tomorrow, safe travels my friend..I went early Thursday to get my hair done and to hug on Nadia.

After I left Nadias’s I went to Plaza Mar to buy rice and beans for the Christmas bags and then went to Nidia’s to drop off the toys and candy canes from Dave and Trish, my super awesome friends from Canada. They are also the people who brought 2 suitcases full of new soccer uniforms. We hope to pass those out while they are here this visit..they also donated 3 bags of syringes for Clinic Esperanza, I dropped those off when I took Mike and Liza there. Mike and Liza brought a few dozen bottles of OTC pain relievers for the clinic. Liza said when she bought all the meds in Walmart the guy really looked at her strange, like, “are you really sick?” Mike and Liza are going to gather medical supplies while at home and start bringing them on their future trips here. Dave and Trish always bring something to benefit the people of the island. Thank you Mike and Liza and Dave and Trish. .

I got my errands done in Toxic Hole and headed home to pee, kiss the pups and get more ice water. Then I drove to BJ’s and was picked up by Carmen with the ever dashing boat guy Brett of the long eyelashes, (Carmen’s husband), escorting us to Miss Marilyn’s place on Calabash Bight. We helped Alex get the stuff out of their attic. Honestly, I had no clue people had attics on Roatan, interesting. Marilyn had a freaking shitload of Christmas lights. I mean, a SHITLOAD. Some worked, some half worked, some didn’t and were crap and we wanted to crush them. Well, I did, Carmen was more reserved and Marilyn kept pulling bags of lights out of I don’t know where, a secret light storage closet that she didn’t tell us about. Some were brand new, in the box AND THEY DIDN’T FLIPPING WORK. Let me state this: Christmas lights that don’t stay lit if one bulb is missing are shit. Lights that flicker are shit. Lights that don’t work are total shit. LED lights are the way to go.

After 2 bottles of wine the tree was up and decorated, it took a 3rd bottle to finish talking about it, have a yummy salad that Alex made and wonder why the hell Marilyn was still bringing out ornaments for the tree.

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Pandytown, water side. On the way to Calabash Bight.

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Santa’s chair

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The tree, fresh out of the box and leaning

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Carmen,”I got this.”

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We had an issue with the male female plugs and had to start over once. Only once..

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Random non-superstitious dog

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lights and then some

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So Marilyn pulls this out and I am speechless. It is bedazzled amazingly well.

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A most fabulous piece

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I couldn’t stop looking at it

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Such gorgeous pieces

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I covet this

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up close and personal

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The piece that looks like a planet is one of my favs..

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The finished tree

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3 broads, 3 bottles. I eased up on the last bottle, I still had to drive home after my boat ride to BJ’s

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Alex honey and his tree

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perfecto

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riding back to BJ’s w/ Brett and Carmen

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we went through the little tunnel, across Oak Ridge bight to BJ’s..

Friday was the gift wrapping party at BJ’s. We had Spanish class at 12 and then right right to the bar. Several of us took tables so we weren’t wrapping on bar stools like last year. The tables worked perfectly..We got all the gifts wrapped, re-bagged beans and rice into individual ziploc bags to be passed out, gifts sorted by boy/girl and age group. While I was wrapping I noticed my friend Woudsin from Helene sitting at the bar. I went over to talk to him, give him a big hug and condolences for his Dad passing away. We chatted for a bit then I went back to wrapping.. A little bit later he called to me and I went over. He introduced the guy he was with and it was someone I knew from 40 years ago in Williamsport, my home town. Small freaking world..When I was walking in the door he was going out and I thought, he looks familiar..Nice to see Rick Benedict,  I knew his wife Marika better than I did him, but still, to run into someone from home is random. He was here finalizing the sale of the property he owned with my friend Perry Adelson on the island of Helene.

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Let the wrapping begin

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Rice and beans, the mainstay of the local’s diet here.

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Santa will be busy. Thanks to Beth and Aaron, Judy and Walt, Cathilee, Ralph and Ginny, I was able to contribute a LOT of nice gifts for the kids.

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So the guy in the hat on the phone is Woudsin, a good friend from Helene, the guy next to him in the hat is Rick, haven’t seen him for decades..Then to run into him at my Friday hangout, pretty cool.

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Wrapping and drinking..

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Lots of paper

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gifts and more gifts

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sorted age and gender

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each bag of toys will get beans and rice

I love Fridays at BJ’s. I love my east end friends, everyone is so chill. It was muy caliente in Spanish class, {no electricity} and hot hot hot wrapping inside BJ’s, lots of bodies, lots of activity. I was sweaty in my Christmas Story t-shirt. It was appropriate for the holidays but it was hot.  Really good to see some people, like Kathy and Marcia. Hopefully I’ll be snorkeling with Marcia soon..

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A virtual dog carpet

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I cleaned the dog hair off the ottoman Barrio is on, laid a clean blue towel down then one of my sarongs to protect it from dog hair and dirt. I can clearly see now that I need to nail the freaking thing on..Barrio, Lola and Max, (L to R)

It’s Friday night, I got home around 4 from the afternoon festivities and laid down on the new couch. I knew I had to meet Jan at 5 to get our temporary residency papers back. Somehow my mind woke me up and I jumped off of the couch at 4:57, I grabbed my keys and ran to Cal’s to get our papers. Grateful to Jan finding out about them. I think I was still in a sleep stupor when I went down to Cal’s. Day drinking, even 2 glasses of wine, does me in.

Sometimes my age shows..

One hundred years young

double vodka

10/18/2015 Many of you probably wonder what the hell I do all day? I mean, I can’t shop, I no longer have a scrapbook room or a garden, what do I do? Sometimes I asked my self the same damn question. Many days it will be 4 PM and I’m still in my nightgown. That’s not to say I’m in bed, I’m not. I’m just not dressed and especially DO NOT HAVE ON A BRA. YAY for any time with no bra.

Every morning the first thing I do is feed my cat her daily scoop of wet food. If I don’t feed her right away she attacks me if I walk by her.  Yes, attacks is the right word. She bolts out from under the bed and swats or bites my ankles. Depends how badly I’ve pissed her off. Once the demon is fed I go out on the porch to see the 5 dogs who are all waiting at the back door for me. This door is open all day long, we close it when we go to bed, there is a screen door, but due to the succession of 4 legged creatures in my house, it is a P.O.S. It does however keep the dogs out. Which lately, they are in WAAAY more than they are out. The pups idea, not mine. I am just putty in their hands paws. Speaking of which, yes Jeanie, I am your insane dog friend. My life now revolves around these 3 boys, I feel like I’ve given birth to triplets. To say I’m a “tad” attached would be a hugely gross mis-representation of facts. I ADORE these pups. Well, @ 40# each, they’re really not pups but 6 month old eating machines. They are eating 14 cups of dry food a day, along with yogurt at breakfast, 3 scrambled eggs at lunch and chicken rice and veggies at dinner. They get sweet potato slices, home made cookies and their frozen popsicles too. They eat better than Bill does, ask him, he will agree. He does make their chicken gruel, I just chop the veggies for it.

Once the pups are fed, I eat breakfast in front of the computer. I check a few sites daily, read what I want to read in the news, check face book and answer emails. Breakfast is the same thing every morning for 2 years now, scrambled eggs with red and green peppers and a jalapeno in them, with salsa and shredded cheese on a soft tortilla, maybe a cup of tea. Remember, I’m the weirdo that doesn’t drink coffee, ick.

Sometimes I peruse the internet sporadically during the day, other times I am gone or cleaning, baking (dog treats), cleaning up dog poop, walking dogs, watching the puppies don’t eat the couch, all of those fun things that I know make you really jealous you don’t live my life..

This past Friday I gave up my party afternoon with my tribal friends and went to a birthday party for a 100 years young woman that I met at the senior luncheon.  I went to meet my friend Nidia at her store in Coxen hole, we were joined by our friend Mac. He’s the guy who danced with Aunty Jane at the senior luncheon. He and Nidia and I were walking to the event, carrying ice cream and deviled eggs. We made a quick stop in a store so I could get Aunty Clara a gift. I had no idea what to get her but Nidia knew. I bought her a nice lightweight housedress. That is a word I have not heard or used since my grandma passed away in 1977. The lady at the “store” didn’t have any bags or wrapping paper so I bought a gift bag that said Baby on it. I mentioned that to Nidia and she reminded me that Aunty Clara is blind, she won’t know. We got to the party and before the rest of the people came we went up to see Aunty Clara. Mac had a very generous gift for her and I gave her the dress. I pulled it out of the bag and described it to her. I told her my grandma used to wear them all the time and this was just like hers with 2 pockets on it. She seemed very happy.

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The pins for Aunty Clara’s party. 100 years young!!

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Aunty Clara in the middle

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My gorgeous friend Nidia. This beautiful woman has the biggest heart of anyone I know. I adore her!!

Mac and I hung out for awhile as Nidia got things organized. I asked Nidia where Aunt Jane was and she said home and we were going to get her. She, Mac and I walked to the corner of Coxen Hole’s main drag, went through a gate and up some steps to her apartment.

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The wires outside of Aunt Jane’s home.

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Her porch and stairs to outside and her all important gadget, a tortilla maker

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The wall in her home. It was immaculate but very sparsely furnished, a bench and an old TV.

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relatives, neighbor kids?? playing in the mango tree

Her hair was all dishelved and she was in her house clothes when we arrived. Mac and I waited while Nidia got her all spiffed up. She looked fabulous when she came out. She is 99 and a little spitfire with gorgeous blue eyes.

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Look at this sweet face, 99 years old. This lady is a hoot!!

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Nidia walking her to the corner to get a cab

We put her in a cab to go the few blocks to the party and we walked. Once we got back there, the place was filling up. Aunt Jane was sitting with Miss Catherine, 2 beautiful ladies!

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Miss Catherine and Aunt Jane

They were passing out plates heaping full of food and cups of soda to everyone, there were people inside and out.

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Nidia with Aunty Clara

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Aunty Clara singing for us

We stayed for her to blow out the candles on her cake, then made our way back to Nidia’s store and our cars. Nidia had to go to Pandytown that evening for another concert to raise the rest of the money for treatment for Ursula

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Nidia with Aunty Clara

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Aunty Clara blowing out her candle. She told Nidia to save the rest of the candles for her cake next year!

Saturday found me back at the airport again. It was sheer insanity, all 3 flights landed within 15 minutes of each other. American was over an hour late, Delta and United beat them by 5 and 10 minutes. Imagine 400 people trying to fit in the tiny immigration building. It got chaotic but we handled it and people, for the most part were happy. Odd as it may seem that 3 airlines from 3 different departure cities would land in the same 15 minute time frame, there’s not a damn thing we can do about it. It is what it is. I just allow my Bank of America training to kick in and as my friend Nathan W says, “I’m leading from the lobby.”  Some of you will “get” this. Chaos or not, I LOVE being there.

On Wednesday, a day before his 6 month birthday Gringo lost his family jewels. He will be fathering no island babies. 1 pup down, 2 pups to go. We got to Dr Calderon’s at 7 and were out of there by 7:30.

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My sweet boy Gringo getting neutered.

It took over an hour for Gringo to wake up and when he did, he peed all over. Another hour passed and I got him downstairs and out for a little fresh air and monitored movement. He was a peeing machine that day. Finally by dinner time he was getting back to normal but still had the “WTH did you do to me” look on his face! I felt guilty.

On Thursday Marilyn and Carmen came here and we all took off in my car to run errands, maybe do lunch and go to Cattleya to paint Christmas ornaments. We ended up going in Mega Paca (a big Value Village, Goodwill, second hand store). We were all in the skirt aisle and I saw a black tulle tutu looking skirt. When I pulled it out I noticed it was a BCBG Max Azria, then I saw the price tag was still on it. It was originally:

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OMG! It’s a little big but it’s OK, it hides things. It will be great for Halloween, Pirate Party or NY Eve!!

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Evocative of Betsy Johnson, Cyndi Lauper or Debbie Harry. I was so excited I tried it on under my skirt right in the aisle!

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115L = a little over $5.00 but because of the color tag (blue) it was 50% off, I paid about $2.50 for it. SCORE!

We all made out really well there. I even bought some wine glasses for BJ’s. {They only have a few and I prefer my wine not to be in a juice glass}. After we left we were going to have lunch but only had 45 minutes until Cattleya so we went to the grocery store grabbed some stuff and ate in my car in the parking lot of the grocery store. Cattleya  is the school that a friend started years ago to help mentally and physically disabled kids of all ages. There are autistic children, Downs children, children with motor skill deficiencies, it’s a fabulous school because otherwise these students would get no specialized help. The students made and colored lots of Christmas ornaments and the majority of them were decorated but we helped get the rest of them finished and another lady was there adding the strings. They sell the ornaments to raise money for the school.

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Marilyn, Carmen and I. Photo courtesy of Connie Silvestri

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Marilyn on the right, Carmen and I. Photo courtesy of Connie Silvestri

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Some of the finished ornaments

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Ornaments, paint and glitter..

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Carmen painted a reindeer to match her headband. If you like her headband (she’s bringing me a few when she comes back to the island) check out: http://strongholdheadbands.weebly.com/solids.html

Friday we went to BJ’s again. It is always fun to have some wine and visit with friends. It is the hang out for the east enders and every now and then people from West End make it down too. We didn’t used to go but have been in attendance much more lately. It’s a good group of people and there is always someone new to meet.

I worked at the airport again, 4 Saturdays in a row, I’m on a roll. I met a cool couple from Maine, they just moved here. Their home that they built was finished and the snow was going to start back home, so Roatan, here they come. I hope we get the opportunity to meet up with them again. Two other friends from Snohomish, WA., near where we used to live moved down today too. They have owned a house for a year or so, had to sell their business, cars and house in the states and, they’re here! We met them here, never knew them in the states. Weird how that happens. I was elated that I got to say Welcome Home to them as they walked in the building.

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Such a stunning view from our roof

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My friend Cheryl named this cloud Puff, the Magic Dragon. After all, he did frolic by the sea…

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Handsome Highway, the nut case..

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Maxillicious

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Lola and Max

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I love our roof top deck

Well, it’s late, I’m trying to get this done so I can edit and post tomorrow. I’ll leave you with this little tidbit. Don’t pass this up, it’s too unbelievable, click on tidbit and be amazed. Then try to answer one question. WHY?

 

The Bean is back

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09/18/2015 Yes, Frito Bean was returned to us, well actually Bill went to get her. The people who adopted her didn’t feel she barked enough. Seems that someone stole her food dish off the porch while she was there and she didn’t bark. I don’t know if she barked or not, all I know is she must not have felt at home yet. Whatever the reason, Bill went to get her on Monday and she cried like a baby when she saw him pull up. Obviously she is happy enough being here, even if she is separated from the others and we’ll just keep it like that, if she’s happy, we’re happy. And, we’re back to 6 dogs. YAY.

Tuesday was Independence day in Honduras. There were parades and marching bands from all of the schools out in full force, clogging the already clogged up roads. It’s really kind of insane that they march on the main streets, as there are no other roads, not an alternate route and traffic is stopped. What if there were a fire in one of the old wooden buildings in downtown Coxen Hole and the streets were filled with thousands of people, I don’t know what they would do. The whole block would be gone in minutes. I guess that’s how they do things here.

The parade was to be over at 11 so I planned to pick up a friend and meet some other friends at a specific location downtown. Marilyn got to my house around 10 and we left for Coxen Hole, not knowing whether we would be stopped for a parade or not. We encountered no parades (if I had not allowed time for them we would certainly positively have been stuck in one) and made it to Eldon’s where I was meeting Lauren.

Lauren is a new friend I met on Facebook. She posted that she needed to buy a cat scratching post. I told her she would not find one here but my husband could make her one. I’m so good at volunteering him for things. Well, the cat scratch pole was a challenge, but he was up for it. She wanted it 3′ high and weighted and covered with sisal rope. The only place we could find sisal was ACE and it was .25 a foot.

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the cat scratch post

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The small piece of sisal is all that was left out of 175 FEET!

Lauren and I became friends on FB and through messenger I invited her to the all consuming craziness that is a Honduran celebration of any type. I said I would pick her up at Eldon’s grocery store. We met there and I drove into town so we could park (hahahaha) and meet Chris and Shannon and their kids for the Children’s Celebration. {I met Chris and Shannon on FB and was at the airport to greet them the day they moved here.}

We drove down the main street and the closer we got the more impossibly ridiculous it looked. Most of the cars in front of me were doing 19 point turns in the middle of the 2 lane road with cars assaulting you from every angle. I followed suit. I ORIGINALLY planned to meet Chris and Shannon at the parking lot across from Carrion; however, you could not get within 20′ of the entrance. I turned around and went to a small parking lot by a sort of hardware store. There was a dirt road alongside the building and we wondered if it might take us where we wanted to be. It did not, however it took us to a dead freaking end with no place to turn around. My option was backing up with a 3′ drop off on my left and buildings on my right on a quasi dirt path. Those who know me know that backing up is not my forte’. Garage doors, tractors, etc. I made it back to the original spot and parked the car to go talk to a guy on the other side of the fence. He spoke English and was very nice, he said I could park there and he would keep an eye on the car. We gave him a few bucks and set out for town. I was carrying 2~ 30 packs of raw eggs and 12 big spoons. Once we got into the crazy crowds, I reached for my phone to call Shannon and realized I had left it in my car, WAY back there through the crowds. DAMN. We watched a few marching bands as we pushed and shoved our way through the crowds, I really enjoy watching them, except when in the hot sun surrounded by 300,000 other people. The kids were in full dress uniforms, long sleeves, long pants, hats, capes and gloves. Sweat much??

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OMG, look at all the wires crossing the street. No wonder we have power issues here.

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Full uniform in 90 degree weather

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This group was good

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So were these guys but most of them have on black gloves, how hot they must be!

Click here to watch the bands and pay close attention to the kids moving, they are into the rhythm.

We walked down to the lot where the Children’s Celebration was to be held with a quick stop off so I could hug Miss Catherine (Daine’s Mom). We found the lot where the party was to be but it was locked and there was nobody around. I left my eggs with Marilyn and Lauren and I walked back to my car so I could get my phone to call Shannon. Lauren was hot and not being used to the insanity of these things, she was ready to grab her cat scratch pole and get a cab home. After I tried to return Shannon’s missed call, I decided to move my car closer to the party; except the lot I was going to park in was all of a sudden closed. I thought I was screwed until I found a spot across from Woods Clinic in a small lot. I had seen Nidia on the way to get my car so I knew things were happening soon. When I got to the lot they were setting up tables and starting to put the sandals and toys and gifts out for the kids.

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Sandals were donated by Live Again Ministries. They are the big donors that made the Senior Luncheon possible.

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Books, The Judas Bird, which is a voluminous book about Roatan written by David Evans, and some Roatan DVD’s, Beanie Babies, fans, Sheriff badges, key chains, some fun jewelry and lots of small jars of bubbles.

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Signing the kids in and giving them name tags

Nidia talking to one of the boys

She had all the kids line up before we started any of the activities. What she really was doing was PUMPING THEM UP. And it worked.

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These kids were playing in the street before the races began

They did a foot race, literally, one guy ran in his bare feet and another in his socks. We had traffic blocked off (again, on the main road).

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These boys had to run to the main intersection and back.

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Then there was the sack race. Do they even do sack races in the US??

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Only a few of them wiped out, I would face plant on the first jump.

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cute young boy

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They then each claimed a horse and rolled the dice to determine how many times they moved the horse.

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The girls did an egg carrying contest, spoon held in mouth, egg on spoon.

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Most finished without smashing the egg

 contest

Then the older boys did an egg THROWING contest, I honestly thought that would get out of hand and turn into an egg throwing frenzy, but it didn’t, Nidia was in charge!

After the races we moved the crowd inside the parking lot and had some other contests there. First they did a spaghetti eating contest. The plates were heaped with spaghetti in tomato sauce.

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The girl in the white top gave up after a few bites and watched.

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The girl in green won. Earlier the girl in the pink came over and put her arm around me and asked my name. I told her and she hugged me. Before the spaghetti contest she asked Marilyn to take our photo, which Marilyn of course did.

Next up was the chugging contest with a 1/2 liter bottle of warm Pepsi. The boys all got up on stage and once Nidia blew the whistle, they started chugging. Some of them started coughing and had it coming out their noses, some were burping while others were pacing it, not guzzling. One boy got a little carried away and puked all over the stage and on the kids standing right up front. It was so gross. Obviously, he lost.

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Ready, set, chug…

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The boy in gray lost his lunch

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The winner!

We were going to leave after this but the Plat Pole was going to be next so we stayed so Marilyn could see it (and of course, I wanted to watch it again).

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This parking lot sits right on the water and looks out over Maya Key which is at the western end of the airport runway.

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Getting out the knots

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Platting the pole

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On my bucket list: learning to dance the plat pole

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There is a rhythm to it

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These girls were good

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Dancing and weaving

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Take my picture, no, don’t take my picture. Silly girls..

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Kids throwing rocks, a favorite thing to do no matter where you are.

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These kids had the right idea, if I had worn a suit I would have been in there with them. Swimming as the sun sets.

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Boat going out to sea

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Such pretty girls

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This hair do must have taken a long time to fix.

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Her feet hurt her..

We didn’t stay for the whole plat pole dance because Marilyn’s car was at my house, from there she had to drive to Oak Ridge and then jump in her boat to get home. I was hoping to have her make the trip while it was still light out, but, this is Roatan and that didn’t happen. We had smooth sailing until we got to Los Fuertes, right before the BIP gas station traffic came to a STOP. We barely moved for 45 minutes. I asked some guys passing by what was going on and they said marching band. Just when you least expect it…foiled again. It was dark by the time we got to our house. I was so exhausted all I wanted to do was shower and go to bed!

The guys have been here working on the roof rails so someone had to be here to put the dogs in or out, it’s been a week of sticking close to home. Wednesday morning I was meeting Brenda and Toni to pick up the stuff that Helping Paws Across Borders left here. I got to BJ’s around 8:30. Once we had my car loaded and I mean loaded, it was packed so full that only the 2 front seats were open. Brenda got in and Toni squeezed on her lap with his head out the window. We drove like that to my house so we could unload all of the stuff. Then the 3 of us went to town. She had to get paperwork from Doc C, go to Carniagro and Eldon’s. After Eldon’s they were going to Bojangles for one last time. I had milk, eggs and cheese in my car so I decided to come on home and they would taxi it back to their boat. I’m sad because they are moving back to Germany, I’m really going to miss them. Vet clinics won’t be the same without them.

They stopped the next day on their way to the ferry to give me one last bag and to say our final goodbye. I was crying..

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Goodbye Brenda and Toni and Matjes and Winter, you will be missed.

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Brenda and I. Damn, just looking at this makes me cry. Safe travels my friend and keep in touch.

Bill has been working on the cabinets and a security system for the house. The cabinets are finished and hung and now I have much more storage and several empty drawers. Next is the cameras for the security stuff.

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Just what I needed.

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Puppy popsicles, banana, peanut butter and yogurt.

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Gringo on the table..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lola and Gringo, these two love each other

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King Highway

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Barrio

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Lola and Highway

The dogs have been spending way more time inside and they love it. I’m OK with that except I have to clean the floor everyday, well, I should clean it everyday, but I don’t.

This morning I was going to walk the pups and Frito, one at a time. I attempted to let 1 pup out but 2 managed to scamper outside and run down the driveway and back up, ears blowing in the wind. Bill and I were trying to catch them but they were too busy running. I was just about to grab Barrio when they both went running to the bank along the house. One side is steep but manageable and planted with trees and bananas, the other side is a sharp drop off onto a barbed wire fence and weeds. Gringo hit the weeds and disappeared. I screamed and Bill came running. I got Barrio back inside and went to help Bill rescue Gringo. I could hear him crying and see him but could not get to him. It’s all itch weed and briars and thorns down there. Bill went one way over the bank but couldn’t get to him so he tied a rope around a pillar and lowered himself down over the cliff. Once Gringo saw him he went to him. Bill shoved Gringo up to me and pulled himself up by the rope. Bill immediately went inside to take a shower to get the itch stuff off. I checked Gringo and he wasn’t hurt, no barbed wire cuts or anything. I’ll be so glad when that is fenced off and we can let them out there and not worry about them falling down into the abyss.

Our roof rails are done, finally. Bill went up there with the vacuum and actually cleaned up the metal fragments on the roof. We are looking forward to being able to go up there and watch the sunset tonight, with the dogs. Especially now that we know they can’t fall off.

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View of North shore

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View of the South shore

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Bill running the vac on the roof, looking NE

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Almost clean

Dog and drunk proofed

Next we are having the roof fiber glassed (since it’s flat it will guarantee no leaks) and then the pergola goes up. Bill still has to puppy proof one area because the other night Max jumped right out to the roof and took off running. Not cool Max, not cool at all.

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It’s worse than having kids.

I’m out of here, but let me first say, always WASH the damn knife after you have chopped up a jalapeno. Rinsing it does not remove the hot, therefore the lime you cut for your Dos Equis will be spicy as shit. Lesson learned.

 

Frito Bean and the 7 dwarfs

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04/15/2015 It’s been HOT HOT HOT in the tropics. Boob melting sweatiness. I mean, mine feel like they’re melting off but every time I look, they’re still there. Sunday morning I baked  for several hours, making coconut macaroons for a dinner party on Sunday at Chuck and Nancy’s. I think I even sat in the sun for awhile that afternoon. I know I was being ultra lazy because when Bill told me it was 3:30 I freaked. I still hadn’t showered or anything. and we had to be there by 4. It was a fabulous evening, getting to meet Lynda and Dave and spend time with Chuck and Nancy and Annie and Charlie. Nancy made a wonderful meal for all of us, as usual. We didn’t stay very late, we had 4 hungry dogs at home.

I absolutely did nothing except some sweeping and cleaned up the kitchen on Monday. It was nice to not leave the house, makes up for all the days that I run all day long.  On Tuesday morning Marilyn came to my house @ 8 Am and we were off to Sandy Bay to pick up more shoes. Sarah, who also lives here, Addy and Brian and Charlene and Nancy (all from Canada) were helping for the day too. We loaded up a truck and my car and went to a big school in downtown Coxen Hole called Juan Brooks. There were over 1000 kids there to be fitted. Then Natalie, a director, Marilyn, Sarah and I went to a kinder in Spanish Town to fit the kids. I was fitting that morning so I didn’t have time to take many photos but I did manage to snag a few hugs!

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This is my beautiful friend Sarah. She snapped this fabulous selfie with a gorgeous little girl at the kindergarten in Spanishtown.

Sarah lives here on Roatan and is from the Pacific Northwest, Oregon to be exact. She too writes for Women Who Live on Rocks and has her own blog at BellaGypsySol. Check out Sarah’s blog while you’re at it. Sarah is a diver and she recently posted a photo of her wearing a BangWrangler and I had to have one. It’s a wide elastic band that doesn’t slip and holds your hair back out of your face.

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My Bang Wrangler

Sarah brought one for me on Tuesday and she happened to have an extra, which Marilyn snagged. I love my BangWrangler. I just want to keep saying Bang Wrangler over and over again. Thanks Sarah, you and my new Bang Wrangler rock!!

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This is the kinder at Spanish town.

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These little kids are the cutest, sweet and innocent.

When we were done there we headed back to Coxen Hole and Juan Brooks school to help the other volunteers fit the 1000 kids who go there. It was a steaming HOT day, we were on the open stage, no air moving at all. At one point Addy had her cold bottle of water stuffed in the front of her shirt.

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Boxes of shoes waiting for the class on the stage to be over. Then they got moved up to there.

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Juan Brooks

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Brian and the Canadians working their butts off. Don’t get me wrong, it sure is fun giving the school kids new shoes but it is HARD HOT SWEATY WORK. I kid you not.

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Addy, Nancy and Sarah fitting, Marilyn in the background.

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These boots can’t be comfy,  the boy was barefoot in them too. I bet the light weight breathable canvas TOMS shoes made his feet happy. It made me pretty damn happy seeing him getting comfy shoes.

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Sarah is so sweet with the kids!

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Nidia, getting the kids in line, checking off their names and then they get sent up on the stage to be fit.

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waiting

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Empty TOMS shoe boxes

It was a long hard day but over 1000 children got new shoes. I got home around 4 PM and was ready to crash right then and there. Thankfully I thought ahead ( a very rare occurrence when it comes to meals)  and dinner was a no-brainer.

Shortly after we got Frito home from her amputation we were feeding her several meals a day because she had been so malnourished. You all know our dogs eat like royalty, minus the 11 piece place settings, real china, crystal and fine linen napkins. Frito started gaining weight F A S T. We assumed it was because she was finally eating regular meals. When we took her to the vet to get her stitches out we said, she’s preggo. He said, no, she’s “gordo.” FAT. So we cut back a little on her food but she still continued to expand. We had Weight Watchers on speed dial. HMMM. Now, I have had dogs all of my life, always. I’ve never had a pregnant one though, mine were always spayed. This was uncharted territory for us. AND, the vet said, No preggo, GORDO. So we continued to feed her 1 small and 1 large nutritious meal a day. Soon it looked like she swallowed an eggplant WHOLE.

About a week ago we determined she was pregnant, not fat. We could feel and SEE the puppies moving around in her belly. I was convinced there were only 2.

On Wednesday morning (the only day we have a vet on the island) I was taking Frito to find out about her impending delivery and when it would be. While there, she had 2 puppies so I brought her home and away from the craziness that is the vet office. She had one more puppy in the car and then 3 more after that.

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And then there were 3

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Head count 4

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Up to #6

And we have 7!!

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Proud Momma

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Sleepy, Grumpy, Sneezy, Happy, Doc, Bashful and Dopey

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Looking for big boobies

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She is such an amazing girl!!

Just when I thought she was done she popped out another one. All soft and shiny, fat and squeaky. Frito is a good 3 legged momma. She hadn’t eaten much in the morning so after fritito # 6, I fed her some yogurt, then she ate some dog food, then she had another pup. Just like it was a walk in the park, no biggie, I just had 7 puppies. We think her timeline went something like this:

B. C. W. (Before Crazed Woman) A night of unbridled passion with a handsome neighborhood lothario

B. C. W. May be still in a stupor from the passion, passed out in the aftermath, paw gets run over

3/10/2015 Scavenging for a morsel in the schoolyard of Barrio Los Fuertes school when a Crazed Woman offers me cheese and apples. Next food offered was Fritos to lure me to the car for the snatch and grab. Crazed Woman names me Frito.

3/11/2015 Go to the vet to see if he can save my paw (bone was sticking out of the foot) He could not and said I had to go to the mainland for amputation. WTH is that?

3/11/2015 I get stuffed in a dog crate with a bleeding paw and put on a ferry for a long ride to La Ceiba.

3/11/2015 I’m met by a vet employee and taken to the clinic.

3/12/2015 The day begins by being bathed 4 times to get rid of the fleas and ticks. Doc prepares the room to be sterile for me.

3/13/2015 Off with the leg. Crazed Woman drives vet assistant friend Bethany bonkers with repeated questions about me ALL DAY LONG. Crazed Woman is told I am fine and awake and maybe Bethany just told her that to shut her up. She is persistent.

3/14 & 3/15/2015  I spent the weekend recuperating in the vet clinic.

3/16/2015 I’m back on the damn boat for the trip home. Wondering if when I get to the other place they’ll chop off the other leg.

3/16/2015 Extremely excited to see Crazed Woman @ the ferry terminal. I cried, she did too.

3/25/2015 Back to vet to get stitches taken out. Ask vet if I am preggo, he smiles and says “No, just GORDO.”

04/15/2015 I give birth to 7 gorgeous little puppies, 2 girls, 5 boys. I am no longer “GORDO.”

So there you have it. A month plus in the life of Frito Bean.

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A loving mommy

I sensed Frito was upstairs at 4:45 this morning. I got up and she was at the top of the steps. I asked if she wanted to go potty and she ran down the steps. I let her out and she took off running to the grass for her morning potty. As soon as she was done she tore back in to those puppies. She is never away from them. She has certainly proven to me what a miraculously strong dog she is. To go through all that she did and then give birth and be totally chill, I am in awe of her. She is one special dog and we are pretty blessed she is ours.

This morning I was to meet Nidia at the bodega in Sandy Bay at 7:30. I don’t think I went back to sleep between Frito’s potty break and 6 AM. I left home at 6:45AM. We lugged 12 boxes down the steps and into my car and set off for the Kinder Nicolas Villeda in Coxen Hole. We had 4 mothers to fit the shoes this morning. The kids were adorable and totally fascinated with me taking pictures.

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Fascination with the boxes

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Adorable

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He pointed to my camera and then to himself

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A nutritious breakfast of CHIPS!

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The classroom

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Pictures pictures!!

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The one and only Nidia Webster. This woman is a sheer delight to be with, I absolutely adore her and her heart.

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The Mommas fitting. I had to crop the photo because the one mom had so much cleavage showing it made my blog X Rated,

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Nidia is gorgeous, inside and out!! I had heard so much about her when I first got to the island, I was bound and determined to meet her. I am so lucky to have this woman as a friend.

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The school

After that we went looking for a kinder teacher in Las Brisas. It is down the road to Steel Pan Alley, near the cruise ship terminal.

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The teacher lived up on the hill so a little boy ran to get her. Nidia and I walked around and looked at flowers. She took a few seed pods and the woman in the pulperia chopped off a branch from a fabulous flower for me to start.

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The pulperia

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This was the kindergarten. It’s now closed and the kids have to go to town to school. We fit the 3 kids there because they didn’t go to town today for shoes.

I was home by 10 and still had dishes to do from last evening when Sam and Chelsie came for dinner. I really love those two, such a sweet couple.

I was so exhausted after giving birth with Frito yesterday there was no way I could have washed the dishes last night. In fact, I only washed part of them today, Bill just now finished washing them, I took a 3 hour nap with Emmy cat. I’m pooped, birth is a bitch!

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This is the life of my princess cat.

I’m off to check on Frito Bean and the 7 dwarfs again and then settling in with a glass of wine and catching up on The Voice.

Anyone want a puppy???